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Abraham...

Ah, most illiterate ignoramuses!
Thou dost ill-comprehend our party teachings.
We by no means assert you free and equal
As ourselves, among our noble selves.

Such admission would most preposterous be. 2d Con... Well, Massa, den what you mean!

Abraham...We mean that you are "free" to emigrate,
And "equal" to my plan of gradual extradition,
If I but give your brethren all free passes,

And my subjects foot the bills, in "freedom's" name,
That's what we mean. We all do know
That you are much inferior to our noble race,
And so long as we all remain together,
The inferior must be slaves.

1st Con...

Massa, dem's most 'culiar sent’ments. You can't dese chiles fool by any such a stuff. 2d Con...We won't go to Quito or Liberia. 3d Con...

No, dat we won't. We'll wid de white folks be free and equal, Just as you say Massa Jefferson foretold us. 4th Con... If de darkies all dis land do leab, What will the bobolishioners do for votes? 5th Con... Da can't do widout us, And, Massa Abraham, we all see you d--d Afore we go wa to hunt up "freedom"! Good da, Massa--good da.

[Exeunt Contrabands.]

Abraham (to the Duke of York)...I say, good Duke,
This contraband question is a double knot,
That more and more puzzles, as we make effort
To untie it. I'd rather beat the jungle,
And seize the hyena's snarling whelps,
In presence of their exasperated dam,
Than meddle with this contraband wolf.

D. of Y...I see the troubles thicken, and irrepressible
Are becoming,

Edwin...

This was the fatal rock,
On which my late master, (or, rather, dupe,)
King James, did split. His affliction
Was of the Lecompton type.

Gideon... We too late find it an ignus fatuus,
And our party its Frankenstien creator,

Deliver us from the monster of our own creation. Caleb...

And may we 'scape Acteon's fate, Who by his own dogs was eaten up. Montgomery... Long have I known It was a phantom, which, for our classic party "Twere death to hug, and no less fatal To disembrace.

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May I hope your health's par excellent? You seldom 'pear in more rosy plight. Abraham... Alas, your Lordship, Appearances do oft, e'en the elect, deceive. My physical, perhaps, wern't never better, But in spirit am I most. sorely troubled! Yet, for that, good Lord, no matter!

t

I would enquire the state of our Exchequer." The Wall St. barometer bodes storms, I fear! The tempest swiftly comes. We must take in sail, For by a private telegram it is announced That our Legal Tenders wont stand the metal test, And 'tis feared our plethoric batch of Green Backs May sink to that old Continental standard, When a solid cord of picture currency Would hardly purchase one good brandy sling, Such as I, for a levy, did once to Suckers sell! Now, what can be done to save our credit? Salmon... Good Father Abraham I pray you on that score rest quite at ease. For my ample "system" will ere long restore The equilibrium 'twixt mint drops and our rags. But that's neither here nor there--it's small concern, Compared with that other matter pressing. Abraham...What "other matter" mean your Lordship? Salmon... Why, 'tis that peerless one,

Your counsellors have so often urged, (Save Montgomery, Caleb and the Duke of York.) I mean the Proclamation. It will at one fell swoop, Crush the rebels and liberate the contrabands. 'Tis cheaper warfare than maintaining armies. Abraham...

E'er I'll so foul offense commit-

I cannot--will not listen to’t-

No, no, I'll die,

So long as my spinal nerve holds out.
'Twould let loose a thousand vilest passions,
That breed in savage breasts, and loathing maggots
would prey upon the foeted, decomposing stench,
Until a servile rising should in butchery end,
when our jealous neighbors across the sea,
Would seize the first occasion, as it ripened,
And add to rebel strength their own vast power!
And in such event, 'tis clear, we'd lose our throne,
And our contraband rabit i' the bargain.

We'd be like the greedy sow, seeing the moon's disc
Reflected in the well, her corn did drop,
To seize upon the new-made cheese,

And by her greed lost all her supper.

1st Divine..

[Enter Religious Delegation from Chicago.] We are come, your Highness, To present from our great Western Synod, A petition, urgent--that you will, at once The Proclamation issue, and thus to Freedom Lend the bent of your almighty power! Say, shall we despond, or hope? Abraham...

If thou'lt convince me · That Ethiopes are of more due concernment Than thirty millions of the Anglo Saxon race, And that all our treasure, time and blood, Should on black "extractions" be exhausted, Then might I listen to your importunities. But what can I do--of what ayail Would be my proclamation, in those parts Where I have not the power to send an agent To collect a shekel of our revenue? Such a proclamation would do no more good, Than the "Pope's Bull against the Comet ! Or Crocket's swear against the earthquake. [Exeunt Delegation, in a huff.]

D. of Y....Bravo! Bravo!

Edwin...I echo bravo, (in a horn.)

Salmon, (aside, to the balance.)...[My Lords, go steady We must these foibles humor, yet awhile, until

We can, by strategy, more pressure bring!

His Highness and the Duke of York doth fear

Too much the puissant Democracy,

And the conservatives of our own household.
But never mind--I've most cheering n

Of events, which, when ripe, will bring His Highness down, as Scott did cooney.] Gideon, (aside, in reply.)...Ah, indeed, my Lord, And to what new role do you refer, I pray, That e'en in hope looks cheering?] Salmon (aside--responsive.)...

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[I will explain:--
You must know that our most, faithful friends,
The Royal Gov'nors of all New England,
Have convened at Providence, of late-
A plan of moral coercion to devise; and
By secret correspondence, am I advised,
That they, with sundrý others, at Altoona,
Soon will meet, for more decisive action:

Then, we'll have their ultimatum--no more troops!
Unless the proclamation be forthcoming.
Thus you see, His Highness must succumb.]
Pardon, your highness,

My tete a tete with Gideon., 'Tis only
A private affair of honor!

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This convocation is most opportune, indeed,
Since the main purpose on't is gained!

Read you not the Proclamation, just o'er the wires?
Egad! His Highness hath been bro't to milk!
Tho' I confess, he's fired 'twixt wind and water!
The Proclamation is as much a vain abortion,

As the choice we made of ruler at the polls!
However, we must seem to applaud it,

Or else the radical votes we lose.

Duke of Hampshire... Thou hast spoken wisely,
Most gracious Cardinal. We must the potion swallow,
And fein convalescance, tho' the fell disease
In time becomes incurable! '

Barron de Accident...Ich weis nicht was sie sagen wol

len

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That we may His Highness congratulate
On the great wisdom of his Proclamation,
And then we may such other measures urge
That will dismiss Achilles, and Ajax favor.
Come, the cars are waiting-All aboard.
[Eexeunt twelve Royal Governors.]

ACT IX.

SCENE.-In the Green Room.

[Enter Abraham, Councillors and Politicians, Nov.] Edwin... Well, your Highness,

How think you the elections are decided? I fear From the blue complexion of the October fashions, That we may suffer still greater losses.

Poh! Impossible!

I e'en do fear New York deserting.
Salmon...
Edwin...I Sey-mour than perhaps you think I do,
And I begin to distrust, most seriously,

The policy of our lettres de catchet. That, I fear,
Hath played the d-1 with our purpose.

The people, instead of being cowed, as 'twas intended,
Have been stung to madness. Look out,
I warn ye, for November gales!

Caleb...
If we are beaten, then the jig is up,
And we must the Dictatorship abandon,
Until the people, in more meilow mood,
Shall off their guard be napping.
Abraham..."

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Thy prognostications, my Lords, Remind me of a story, about the jackass And the kid, which I'll relateEdwin...(interrupting.) O, dm the stories. I'm sick of stories, and besides, here comes the Page With a telegram. Now look out for thunder! [Enter Page.]

Edwin...How, now--any news from York?

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Then I have lost the oysters!

D. of Y.... I knew it aforetime, and thus my wager

sav'd ;

Your radical measures hath overturn'd our porridge.
As. I have oft predicted.

Gideon... Well, Page, what news from other quarters?
Page...
Ah, your Lordships, most doleful.
The Badger State hath topsy-turvy turned,
And the Suckers-right at the very door sill
Of His Higness' hermitage, have "played h--ll,"
While the Wolverines, no more grateful,
Have nearly kicked the beam!

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Alas, my Lords,

What an unkind hour is this to me!
For scarcely from delirious slumber did I wake,
On this bright, yet ill-boding morn,
E'er a courier, drunk with dread affright,
Did call me from my couch, to pour

Into my unwilling ears, results, astounding,
Of the Proclamation in Kentucky, where,

As his story runs, the exasperated masses
Do join the rebels by scores and grand divisions !
The Border States are said to be in uproar!
The Contrabands don't "rise" as first you urg'd!
But such as have no power or will to work,
Are pressing on our lines in such vast numbers,
That loyal men do stagger 'neath the weight
That's eating out their substance.
I fear,

My Lords, that we're too well succeeded
In uniting the heretofore diverse feuds
That cooled and tempered Southern rage,
And that the loyal North we have divided!

While I did the middle course conserve,
While I did Ajax o'erthrow, and did "modify"
Simon, and brave Hunter, and while I did
Our Simon from my counsel banish,
All things went merry as a marriage bell!
The North was then a unit of power!
She did freely bleed her many millions;
And from her hill sides, plains and valleys,
Came forth her sturdy and brave legions-
Mighty and terrible as the hosts of Xerxes!
In the West-my own proud West-
The car of our triumphs was moving on!
Into our hands fell Henry and Donelson,
By the valor of troops that never quailed-
The prestige of my victorious army was felt
At Shiloh, Pea Ridge and Island Ten,
While Memphis and Mississippi's Queen,
Fell easy preys to my chivalrous legions!
And, no less mark'd were achievements
On our Eastern coast, where to attack,
Was victory, and victory us deserted not,
Until Parliament and Cabinet essayed
To lead, and dictate plans beyond their ken,
Or power to execute. Politicians took the field-
Not in person-for they were chivalric bastards!
Instead of trusting to our war chieftains,
They chalk'd campaigns in the caucus room,
And did them execute in the civil forum!
Heroes they made of cornstalks, alas!

To be riven by the first ill-omened blast!
Military science they whistled down the wind,
And mock'd at "spades" and "Strategy!"

They've press'd me night and day-"on to Richmond,"
By measures, routes, and geometric curves,
Of which they, themselves, as the unborn babe,
Were ignorant. Cause, they seldom study,
But jump at theories, to reach effect!

When our prosperity was at its highest flow,
Did they howl like packs of arrant wolves!
To stop enlistments, and to the Proclamation
Leave the job of crushing treason.

Well,

To please the malcontents, I the Bull did issue.
Behold what followed!-the forthwith call
For six hundred thousand victims, new hecatombs
To fill, and mines to blow up more treasure!
And behold disaster on disaster, since,

Without a parallel, excuse, or palliation:
And all to please the whim of party hacksters!

Thrice hath our Grand Army-Potomac's pride!
Been repulsed and flayed by Hector's ragged serfs,
And now I find me in that dread dilemma

Where, to "modify" my new role-under pressure chosen,

Would my reputation forever compromise,
And I be styled fool-dastard-nose of wax!
And yet, to perserve, on the chart ill drafted,
Would destroy my country, and dethrone my power.
So much for Buckingham!

[Aside.]

[0, fell disasters!-ripe fruits of giving o'er To clamors of a rabble mob, insatiate.

O, Heaven's vengeance, swift as lightning's bolt, Resign my Cabinet-make room for Holt!]

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Alas, alas!

I am so weary of these sad disasters
That on any chance would I set my life
To mend it, or to be rid on't.

So cowards fight when they can fly no longer...
So doves do peck the falcon's piercing talons...
So desp❜rate soldiers, hopeless of their lives,
Breathe out invectives 'gainst the officers!
Dreadful is the fate whom despair hath forced
To censure Fate...and pious hope forego!
All hope is lost...welcome any fate!
Save hope deferred, to be destroyed.
My court's dismissed, and to my sad pillow
Will I pour out my silent grief.

ACT XI.

[Exeunt omnes.]

SCENE...Senatorial Caucus in the Capitol.

Fessenden...

[Enter thirty-one Senators.]
Most noble Senators,

We are to this solemn purpose call'd
To take action on the late disaster!
Unless something shall be quickly done,
To rescue our army, from oblivion,
The feast of fatal blunders, we might
As well all at once resign.

Wade...
But what can we do?
Will the noble Sen'tor some "Maine" end state
That we can by this caucus 'complish?

Fes...
We must revolutionize
The Cabinet. Abraham, we cannot stir,
But we must demand a change at once,
Among his effete counsellors.

At least, the Duke of York
Must walk the plank! So should Edward,
In fact, the more the better, for then,
We all do stand a better chance!
Trum...That's what's the matter.

Fes...

I do affirm the Duke of York. To be the cause of our sad reverses. He is the Jonah of the Cabinet, and then, He doth denounce the proclamation As an idle bagatelle.

Sumner...

He must go out, or else no peace

Will Abraham enjoy, Mark that.

I move that we His Highness do address

A firm, yet most decisive protest
Against the further party toleration
Of the imbecile clogs around him.

The motion's carried, and five of our number
Shall bear to Abraham our potent wishes.
Our purpose done, I declare this caucus
Dissolved till further orders.

[Exeunt omnes.]]

SCENE 2D--Cabinet Meeting.

Abraham...

[Enter Committee of five Senators.] Good morrow, your honors; What's now agog in Parliament? Fes... We are come, your Highness, As select men from last evening's caucus, To favor your Highness with this Protest.

[Hands out a paper, which Abraham reads.] Abraham... And is this your role? My Court will understand the purpose: Those doughty Senators do of me demand A modification of my Cabinet, faith; And the Duke of York, most faithful, What say my Court?

At least shall go.

D. of Y...

I say, your Highness, Here's my portfolio...take it back:

I can be useful unless I'm wholly black. Salmon...And here's my portfolio, full of checks; Take it, and I'll run my chance for Senator. Montgomery... And, your Highness,

I, too am ready for the slaughter. Edwin... I'll see 'em d...d e'er I Will yield an Inch. I'd rather die. Abraham...

Take back your folios, all;

We're all upon ill fortune's track,
And together we will sink or swim.
Go back, ye intermeddling solons,
Do your worst, but unless you're the stronger,
I'll stand this "pressure" a little longer.

[Exeunt Committee, exasperated.]

Edwin... A pretty bold attempt, your Highness For little boys to Wade beyond their depths,

Without bladders 'neath their arms.

Edwin...

[Enter Halleck.]

Here comes the fatal cause

Of all our most malicious ills. Halleck...

Such epithets address you sir, to me? I'll not brook such contemptuous slurs. Sir, you are a coward, and never fought for spurs. Edwin... Me a coward...then you're a lying whelp, And dare not resent, without procuring help. Halleck...(Slaps his face.) Take that, paltroon, my legal tender,

And show how brave you play your own defender. [They clinch and have a savage set-to.] My rabid Lords,

Abraham...

It grieves me sore to see this cruel sport,
Strewing blood and hair about my virtuous court.
Most vicious mastiffs,

D. of Y...
I pray you both, preserve your strength;
You'll need it all on ropes, at length.

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219

185

219

219

Atrocious Sentiments... Sen. Wilson on Shooting Cop-
perheads ....

Abolitionists... Selling Negroes for Cotton..

On Vallandigham Case...

Anti-Slavery Standard on....

N. Y. Post and Tribune on...

For Dissolution--Various Extracts on............................... 54-63 ·
Reference to their Votes in Congress......

90

122

Where are They?--Pets of the Administration.. 106
Republicans Mould Public Opinion for....
Army, the... Adj't Gen. Thomas--Political use of...... 265
And Politics--Case of Lt. Edgerly..
Weakened to carry Elections..

Army Voting...Borrowed from Cæsar and Napoleon

To make a French Despot.......

Dr. Lieber on.....

Tuttle and Vallandigham...

Interference in Kentucky Elections....

Army Transportation...Van Wyck on..

267

278

276

276

277

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277

280

318

293

..... 304

265

Army of the Potomac...Too near Washington..

Army Force...Number of men called for...

Anti-Copperhead Resolutions... How the Soldiers view-

ed them..

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Brown, John... His "solution".

His Harper Ferry Raid...Various Extracts,
showing Republican endorsement of...Sermon
of De Loss Love... Fort Atkinson Standard...
La Cross Republican...Sermon of Rev. Mr.
Wheelock...Milwaukee Sentinel...Elkhorn In-
dependent...Telegrams... Winsted Herald...J.
W. Phillips...Elder Spooner... Natick Res-
olution... Rockford Meeting...Firing Guns in
Albany...Theo. Parker's Postula... Milwaukee
Republicans... Rev. S. W. Bassett...More tel-
egrams... Wendell Phillips...Milwaukee Free
Democrat... Wisconsin State Journal...Rev.
Mr. Staples...Milwaukee Sentinel...R. W.
Emerson... Rev. M. P. Kinney...Menasha
Conservator... Milwaukee Atlas... New York
Tribune...Wood County Reporter...W. L.
Yancey...
...Wisconsin Churches...New York
Herald...J. W. Forney...Kansas Herald on
Character of Brown.
....64 to 72

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102-3

Seward and Hale toasted by Louisville Journal 64
Booth Case...Chronological history of......

..74 to 77

29

287

161

Blue Lights... Hoisted by Federals....
Blue Lights and Blue Laws...Early Puritans...
Bingham, J. H....Radical views of..

34
108

90

170
45-47

Beecher, H. Ward...Constitution the "cause" of the
War....

93

59

90

Emancipation object of the war,...................99, 100
On God and the Negro...

118

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Blair's
176-183

Declares the President the Government.

121

141

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