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Mrs. Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, I And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a scared out of him; if the devil have him not in fee-simple, with fine and recovery, he will In a most hideous and dreadful manner : never, I think, in the way of waste, attempt us You have heard of such a spirit; and well you again. know,
The superstitious idle-headed eld⚫
Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we have served him?
Mrs. Page. Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape the figures out of your husband's brains. If they can find in their hearts, the poor unvirtuous fat knight shall be any further afilicted, we two will still be the ministers.
Mrs. Ford. I'll warrant, they'll have him publicly shamed: and, methinks, there would be no period to the jest, should be not be publicly shamed.
Mrs. Page. Come to the forge with it then, shape it: I would not have things cool.
Mrs. Ford. Marry, this is our device;
Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll
And in this shape: When you have brought him
Mrs. Page. That ikewise have we thought
Like urchins, ouphes, + and fairies, green and white,
[Exeunt. SCENE III-A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter HOST and BARDOLPH.
Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your horses: the duke himself will be morrow at court, and they are going to meet him.
Host. What duke should that be, comes so secretly? I hear not of him in the court: Let me speak with the gentlemen ; they speak English?
Bard. Ay, Sir; I'll call them to you. Host. They shall have my horses; but I'll make them pay, I'll sauce them; they have had my houses a week at cominand; I have turned away my other guests: they must come off; I'll sauce them: Come. [Exeunt.
In him that was of late a heretic,
As firm as faith.
Page. 'Tis well, 'tis well; no more.
SCENE IV.-A Room in FORD's House. Enter PAGE, FORD, Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. FORD, and Sir HUGH EVANS.
Era. 'Tis one of the pest discretions of a 'oman as ever I did look upon.
Page. And did he send you both these letters
at an instant?
Mrs. Page. Within a quarter of an hour. Ford. Pardon me, wife: Henceforth do what thou wilt,
I rather will suspect the sun with cold,
Than thee with wantonness: now doth thy ho burn the knight with my taber.
But let our plot go forward; let our wives
Ford. There is no better way than that they spoke of.
Page. How to send him word they'll meet him in the park at midnight! fe, fie; he'll never
In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak:
Eva. You say he has been thrown in the rivers; and bas been grievously peaten, as an old 'oman: methinks, there should be terrors in him, that he should not come; methinks, his flesh is punished, he shall have no desires.
Page. So think I too.
Mrs. Ford. Devise but how you'll use him when he comes, And let us two devise to bring him thither. Mrs. Page. There is an old tale goes, that Herne the bunter, Sometime a keeper bere in Windsor forest, Doth all the winter time, at still midnight, Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns; And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle, • Strikes.
With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,
Mrs. Ford. And till he tell the truth,
Mrs. Page. The truth being known,
Ford. The children must
Be practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't. Eva. I will teach the children their behavi ours; and I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to
Ford. That will be excellent. I'll go buy them vizards.
Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies, Finely attired in a robe of white.
Page. That silk will I go buy ;-and in that
[Aside. And marry her at Eton.--Go, send to Falstaff straight.
Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave from behind one of them, in a slough of mire; [Exit. and set spurs, and away, like three German dcvils, three doctor Faustuses. SCENE V.-A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter HOST and SIMPLE.
Host. They are gone but to meet the dar, villain: do not say, they be fled; Germans are honest men.
Fal. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with me; but she's gone,
Sim. Pray you, Sir, was't not the wise woman of Brentford ?
Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell; would you with her?
Sim. My master, Sir, my master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go thorough the streets, to know, Sir, whether one Nym, Sir, that beguiled him of a chain, bad the chain, or no.
Fal. I spake with the old woman about it. Sim. And what says she, I pray, Sir? Fal. Marry, she says, that the very same man, that beguiled master Slender of his chain, cozened him of it.
Sim. I would I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him.
Fal. What are they? let us know.
Sim. I may not conceal them, Sir.
Sim. Why, Sir, they were nothing but about mistress Anne Page; to know, if it were my master's fortune to have ber, or no.
Eva. Where is mine host?
Eva. Have a care of your entertainments: there is a friend of mine come to town, tells me there is three couzin germans, that has cozenes all the hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you fa good-will, look you you are wise, and fum o gibes and vlouting-stogs; and 'tis not convez.ca you should be cozened: Fare you well.
Sim. May I be so bold to say so, Sir?
Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one, that bath taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my life and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning.
Enter Sir HUGH EVANS.
Enter Doctor CAIUS.
Caius. Vere is mine Host de Jarterre. Host. Here, master doctor, in perplexity, doubtful dilemma.
Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat; but it is tr a me, dat you make grand preparation for a date de Jarmany: by my trot, dere is no dake, dat the court is know to come; I tell you for god vill: adien. ¡E Host. Hoe and ery, villain, go:-assist me, knight; I am undone :-fly, run, hue as cry, villain! I am undone !
Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune.
Sim. What, Sir?
Fal. To have her, or no: Go; say, the wo- I was beaten myself into all the colours of the man told me so.
rainbow, and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deliver'd me, the knave const ble had set me i' the stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch.
Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, what ado bere is to bring you together! Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so crossed. Fal. Come up into my chamber.
Bard. Out, alas, Sir! cozenage! meer cozenage! Host. Where be my horses? speak well of them varletto.
Bard. Run away with the cozeners: for so soon as I came beyond Eton, they threw me off,
[Exeunt HOST and BARDOLFE
Fal. I would all the world might be cozened: for I have been cozen'd and beaten too. If should come to the ear of the court, how I he been transformed, and how my transformat in hath been washed and cudgelled, they wound melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and Liquor fishermen's boots with me: I warrant, they wond whip me with their fine wits, till I were as crestfallen as a dried pear. I never prospered sauce I forswore myself at Primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, i would repent.—
Enter Mrs. QUICKLY.
Quick. From the two parties, forsooth.
Quick. And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant; speciously one of them; mistress Ford. good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her.
Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and bine f
[Ereunt. SCENE VI.—Another Room in the Garter
Enter FENTON and Host.
Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy, I will give over all. Fent. Yet hear me speak: Assist me in my purpose,
• A game at cards.
And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee
Fent. From time to time I have acquainted
Fal. Away, I say; time wears: hold up your head, and mince. [Exit Mrs. QUICKLY. Enter FORD.
With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page;
Hath a great scene: the image of the jest.
To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and
Must my sweet Nan present the fairy queen;
Her mother, even strong against that match,
How now, master Brook? Master Brook, the matter will be known to-night, or never. Be you in the Park about midnight, at Herne's oak, aud you shall see wonders.
Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, Sir, as you told me you had appointed?
Fal. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, like a poor old man: but I came from her, That Fal-master Brook, like a poor old woman. same knave, Ford her husband, hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, master I will tell Brook, that ever governed frenzy. you. He beat me grievously, in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man, master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver's beam ; because I know also, life is a shuttle. I am in haste; go along with me; I'll tell you all, master Brook. Since I plucked geese, played truant, and whipped top, I knew not what it was to be beaten, till lately. Follow me: I' tell you strange things of this knave Ford: on whom to-night I will be revenged, and I will deliver his wife into your hand.-Follow: Strange things in hand, master Brook! follow.
Her father means she shall be all in white;
The better to denote her to the doctor,
With ribbands pendant, flaring 'bout her head;
Fent. Both, my good host, to go along with
And here it rests,-that you'll procure the
To stay for me at church, 'twixt twelve and
In the letter.
SCENE II-Windsor Park.
Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER,
Page. Come, come; we'll couch i' the castle ditch, till we see the light of our fairies.—Remember, son Slender, my daughter.
Sten. Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her, and we have a nay-word, how to know one another. I come to her in white, and cry, mum; in-she cries, budget; and by that we know one
And, in the lawful name of marrying,
Host, Well, husband your device; I'll to the
Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest.
• ACT V.
SCENE I-A Room in the Garter Inn.
Enter FALSTAFF and Mrs. QUICKLY.
Quick. I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do
Keep to the time.
Shal. That's good too: But what needs either your mum, or her budget? the white will decipher her well enough.-It hath struck ten o'clock.
Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will become it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil but the devil, and we shall know him by his horns. Let's away; follow me. [Exeunt.
SCENE III.-The Street in Windsor.
Mrs. Page. Master doctor, my daughter is in green when you see your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the deanery, and despatch it quickly: Go before into the park; we two must go together.
Caius. I know vat I have to do; Adien.
Mrs. Page. Fare you well, Sir. [Exit CAIUS.] My husband will not rejoice so much at the doctor's marrying my daughter: but 'tis no matter; better a little chiding, than a great deal of heart-break.
Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of fairies and the Welsh devil, Hugh T
Mrs. Page. They are all couched in a pit hard by Herne's oak, with obscured lights; which, at the the very instant of Falstaff's and our meet. ing, they will at once display to the night.
Mrs. Ford That cannot choose but amaze him.
Mrs. Page. If he be not amazed, he will be mocked; if he be amazed, he will every way be mocked.
Mrs. Ford. We'll betray him finely.
Mrs. Ford. The hour draws ou; To the oak, I'll wink and couch: No man their works t to the oak ! [Exeunt. [Lies down upon his face. Eva. Where's Pede ?-Go you, and where you find a maid, That, ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers sand, Raise up the organs of her fantasy,
SCENE IV.-Windsor Park.
Enter Sir HUGH EVANS, and Fairies. Eva. Trib, trib, fairies; come; and remem-Sleep she as sound as careless infancy, ber your parts: be pold, I pray you; follow me But those as sleep, and think not on their sins, into the pit; and when I give the watch-'ords, Pinch them, arms, legs, back, shoulders, sides, do as I pid you; Come, come; trib, trib.
Quick. About, about;
[Exeunt. SCENE V.-Another part of the Park. Enter FALSTAFF disguised, with a buck's head on.
Search Windsor castle, elves, within and out? Strew good luck, ouphes, on every sacred room; In state as wholesome, as in state "tis ft; That it may stand till the perpetual doom, Worthy the owner and the owner it. Fal. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; The several chairs of order look you scour the minute draws on: Now, the hot-blooded With juice of balm, and every precious flower: gods assist me:-Remember, Jove, thou wast Each fair instalment, coat, and several crest, a bull for thy Europa; love set on thy horns. With loyal blazon, evermore be blest ! -O powerful love! that, in some respects, makes And nightly, meadow-fairies, look, you sing, a beast a man; in some other, a man a beast. Like to the Garter's compass, in a ring: -You were also, Jupiter, a swan, for the love The expressure that it bears, green let it be, of Leda ;-0 omnipotent love how near the More fertile-fresh than all the field to see; god drew to the complexion of a goose !-A| And, Hony soit qui mal y pense, write, fault done first in the form of a beast ;-0In Jove, a beastly fault! and then another fault in the semblance of a fowl; think on't, Jove; a foul fault. When gods have hot backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, i' the forest send me a cool rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to piss my tallow? Who comes here? my doe ?
emerald turfs, flowers purple, blue, and
Like sapphire, pearl, and rich embroidery,
Eva. Pray you, lock hand in hand: your-
Enter Mrs. FORD, and Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. Ford. Sir John? art thou there, my deer? my male deer?
Fal. My doe with the black scut?-Let the sky rain potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of Green Sleeves; hail kissing-comfits, and snow eringoes; let there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me here.
Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart.
Mrs. Page. Away, away. [They run off.
Fal. I think the devil will not have me damned, lest the oil that is in me should set hell on fire; be would never else cross me thus.
Pist. A trial, come.
If he be chaste, the flame will back descend, Fal. Divide me like a bride-buck, each a And turn bim to no pain; but if he start haunch; I will keep my sides to myself, myIt is the flesh of a corrupted heart. shoulders for the fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath your husbands. Am I a woodman? ha! Speak I like Herne the hunter?Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes restitution. As I am a true spirit, welcome ! [Noise within. Mrs. Page. Alas! what noise? Mrs. Ford. Heaven forgive our sins! Fal. What should this be?
Eva. Come, will this wood take fire!
About him fairies; sing a scornful rhyme :
Enter Sir HUGH EVANS, like a satyr; Mrs. QUICKLY, and PISTOL; ANNE PAGE, as the Fairy Queen, attended by her brother and others, dressed like fairies, with waxen tapers on their heads.
Quick. Fairies, black, grey, green, and white,
And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be,
Cricket, to Windsor chimnies shalt thou leap:
There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry;
Fal: They are fairies; he that speaks to them
• Keeper of the forest. Fellowship. Wortleberry.
Fal. Heavens defeud me from that Welsh fairy! lest he transform me to a piece cheese !
Pist. Vile worm, thou wast o'er-look'd even
Fye on sinful fantasy !
Till candles, and star-light, and moonshine
During this song, the faries pinch FALSTAFF.
Doctor CAIUS comes one way, and steals away a fairy in green; SLENDER another way, and takes off a fairy in white: and FENTON comes, and steals away Mrs. ANNE PAGE. A noise of hunting is made within. All the fairies run away. FAISTAFF pulls off his buck's head and rises.
Enter PAGE, FORD, Mrs. PAGE, and Mrs.
Page. Nay, do not fly: I think we have watch'd you now:
Will noue but Herne the hunter serve your turn?
Mrs. Page. I pray you, come; hold up the jest no bigber :
Now, good Sir John, how like you Windsor
Page. Yet be cheerful, knight; thou shalt eat
See you these, husband? do not these fair a posset to-night at my house; where I will desire thee to laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee: Tell her, master Slender bath married her daughter.
Become the forest better than the town?
Ford. Now, Sir, who's a cuckold now Master Brook, Falstaff's a knave, a cuckoldly knave; here are his borus, master Brook: And, master Brook, he hath enjoyed nothing of Ford's bat bis buck-basket, bis cudgel, and twenty pounds of money; which must be paid to mas ter Brook; his horses are arrested for it, masier Brook.
Mrs. Ford. Sir John, we have had ill lock; we could never meet. I will never take you for my love again, but I will always count you my deer.
Fal. I do begin to perceive that I am made
Ford. Ay, and an ox too; both the proofs are
Fal. And these are not fairies! I was three or four times in the thought they were not fairies and yet the guiluuess of my mind, the sudden surprise of my powers, drove the gross ness of the foppery into a received belief, in despite of the teeth of all rhyme and reason, that they were fairies. See now, how wit may! be made a Jack-a-lent, when 'tis upon u employment.
E a. Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your desires, and fairies will not pinse you. Ford. Well said, fairy Hugh.
Eta. And leave you your jealousies too, I
to one master Brook, that you have cozened of money, to whom you should have been a pander: over and above that you bave suffered, I think, to repay that money will be a biting
Mrs. Ford. Nay, husband, let that go to make
Forgive that sam, and so we'll all be friends.
Ford. I will never mistrust my wife again, till thou art able to woo her in good English.
Fal. Have I laid my brain in the sun, and dried it, that it wants matter to prevent so gross o'er-reaching as this? Am I riiden with a Welsh goat too I Shall I have a cotcomb of i frize? 'tis time I were chosed with a piece of toasted cheese.
Eva. Seese is not good to give patter; your pelly is all putter.
Fal. Seese and putter! Have I lived to stand at the taunt of one that makes fritters of Engliola? This is enough to be the decay of lust and latewalking, through the realm.
Mrs. Page. Why, Sir John, do you think,
though we would have thrust virtue ont of our hearts by the head and shoulders, and have given ourselves without scruple to hell, that ever the devil could have made you our de light?
Ford. What, a hodge-pudding ? a bag of flax?
Mr. Puge. Doctors doubt that: If Anne Page be my daughter, she is, by this, doctor Calus wife. [Aside.
• Horns which Falstaff had.
+ A fool's cap of Wish materiais.
1 Flanuel was originally the manufacture of Wales.
Sten. Whoo, ho! ho! father Page.
Page. Son! how now ! how now, son? have you despatched?
Page. Why, this is your own folly: Did not [ tell you, how you should know my daughter by ber garments?
Sien. I went to her in white, and cried mum, and she cried budget, as Anne and I had ap 'porated; and yet it was not Anne, but a post. taster's boy.
Era. Jeshu! Master Slender, cannot you see but marry boys?
Page. Oh I am vexed at heart: What shall I do?
Mrs. Page. Good George, be not angry : 1 knew of your purpose; turned my daughter into [green; and, indeed, she is now with the doctor at the deanery, and there marned.
cozened; 1 ba' married un garçon, a boy; un Calor, Vere is mistress Page? By gar, I am poison, by gar, a boy; it is not Anne Page: by gar, I am cozened,
Mrs. Page. Why did you take her in
Sten. Despatched-I'll make the best in Glou cestershire know on't; would I were hanged, la, eise.
Page. Of what, son?
Sten. I came yonder at Eton to marry mis. tress Anne Page, and she's a great lubberly boy: If it had not been i' the church, I would have swinged him, or he should have swinged If I did not think it had been Anne Page, me. would I might never stir, and 'tis a post-master's boy.
Page. Upon my life then you took the wrong, Sten. What need you tell me that? I think 19, when I took a boy for a guri: If I had been married to him, for all he was in woman's up. parel, I would not have bad bim.
Page. Oid, cold, withered, and of intolerable entrails?
Ford. And one that is as slanderous as Satan?
Page. And as poor as Job?
Ford. And as wicked as his wife 1
Eta. And given to fornications, and to taverns, and sack, and wine, and methegiins, and to drinkings, and swearings, and starings, pribbles and prabbles?
Fal. Well, I am your theme: you have the start of me; I am dejected; I am not able to answer the Welsh flannel; ; ignorance itself is a plummet o'er me: use me as you will.
Ford. Marry, Sir, we'll bring you to Windsor,
I'll raise all Windsor.
Page My heart misgives me : Hese comes master Fenton,