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all patience and springing to his feet said: "Why don't you go at him with a fifa, a demurrer, a capias, a surrebutter, or a ne exeat, or something; or a nundam pactum or a non est?"

Lincoln at another time said: "General McClellan is a pleasant and scholarly gentleman.

"He is an admirable engineer, but he seems to have a special talent for a stationary engine."

ADVISES AN ANGRY OFFICER.

An officer, having had some trouble with General Sherman, being very angry, presented himself before Mr. Lincoln, who was visiting the camp, and said, "Mr. President, I have a cause of grievance. This morning I went to Colonel Sherman and he threatened to shoot me." "Threatened to shoot you?" said Mr. Lincoln. "Well, (in a stage whisper) if I were you and he threatens to shoot, I would not trust him, for I believe he would do it."

LINCOLN'S LOVE OF SOLDIER HUMOR.

Lincoln loved anything that savored of wit or humor among the soldiers in their deprivations and sufferings. He used to relate these two stories often to show, he said, that neither death nor danger could quench the grim humor of the American soldier:

"A soldier of the Army of the Potomac was being carried to the rear of battle with both legs shot off, who, seeing a pie-woman hovering about, asked, 'Say old lady, are them pies sewed or pegged?'

"And there was another one of the soldiers at the battle of Chancellorsville, whose regiment, waiting to be called into the fight, was taking coffee. The hero of the story put to his lips a crockery mug which he had carried, with infinite care, through several campaigns. A stray bullet, just missing the drinker's head, dashed the mug into fragments and left only the handle on his finger. Turning his head in that direction, he scowled, 'Johnny, you can't do that again.''

THE PRESIDENT AND THE MONITOR.

The President expressed his belief in the Monitor, to Captain Fox, the adviser of Captain Ericsson, who constructed the Monitor. "I am not prepared for disastrous results, why should I be? We have three of the most effective vessels in Hampton Roads, and any number of small craft that will hang on the stern of the Merrimac like small dogs on the haunches of a bear. They may not be able to tear her down, but they will interfere with the comfort of her voyage. Her trial trip will not be a pleasure trip, I am certain. "We have had a big share of bad luck already, but I do not believe the future has any such misfortunes in store for us as you anticipate." Said Captain Fox: "If the Merrimac does not sink our ships, who is to prevent her from dropping her anchor in the Potomac, where that steamer lies," pointing to a steamer at anchor below the long bridge, "and throwing her hundred-pound shells into this room, or battering down the walls of the Capitol?"

"The Almighty, Captain," answered the President,

excitedly, but without the least affectation. "I expect set-backs, defeats; we have had them and shall have them. They are common to all wars. But I have not the slightest fear of any result which shall fatally impair our military and naval strength, or give other powers any right to interfere in our quarrel. The destruction of the Capitol would do both.

"I do not fear it, for this is God's fight, and He will win it in His own good time. He will take care that

our enemies will not push us too far."

I

If

"Speaking of iron-clads," said the President, "you do not seem to take the little Monitor into account. believe in the Monitor and her commander. Captain Worden does not give a good account of the Monitor and of himself, I shall have made a mistake in following my judgment for the first time since I have been here, Captain. I have not made a mistake in following my clear judgment of men since this war began. I followed that judgment when I gave Worden the command of the Monitor. I would make the appointment over again to-day. The Monitor should be in Hampton Roads now. She left New York eight days ago." After the captain had again presented what he considered the possibilities of failure, the President replied, "No, no, Captain, I respect your judgment, as you have reason to know, but this time you are all wrong.

"The Monitor was one of my inspirations; I believed in her firmly when that energetic contractor first showed me Ericsson's plans. Captain Ericsson's plain but rather enthusiastic demonstration, made my conversion permanent. It was called a floating battery then; I called it a raft. I caught some of the inventor's

enthusiasm and it has been growing upon me. I thought then, and I am confident now, it is just what we want. I am sure that the Monitor is still afloat, and that she will yet give a good account of herself. Sometimes I think she may be the veritable sling with a stone that will yet smite the Merrimac Philistine in the forehead."

Soon was the President's judgment verified, for the "Fight of the Monitor and Merrimac" changed all the conditions of naval warfare.

After the victory was gained, the presiding Captain Fox and others went on board the Monitor, and Captain Worden was requested by the President to narrate the history of the encounter.

Captain Worden did so in a modest manner, and apologized for not being able better to provide for his guests. The President smilingly responded: "Some uncharitable people say that old Bourbon is an indispensable element in the fighting qualities of some of our generals in the field, but, Captain, after the account that we have heard to-day, no one will say that any Dutch courage is needed on board the Monitor." "It never has been, sir," modestly observed the captain.

Captain Fox then gave a description of what he saw of the engagement and described it as indescribably grand. Then, turning to the President, he continued, "Now, standing here on the deck of this battle-scarred vessel, the first genuine iron-clad-the victor in the first fight of iron-clads-let me make a confession, and perform an act of simple justice.

"I never fully believed in armored vessels until I saw this battle.

"I know all the facts which united to give us the Monitor. I withhold no credit from Captain Ericsson, her inventor, but I know that the country is principally indebted for the construction of the vessel to President Lincoln, and for the success of her trial to Captain Worden, her commander.'

THAT SAVAGE DOG.

When Hood's army had been scattered into fragments, Lincoln, elated by the defeat of what had so long been a menacing force on the borders of Tennessee, was reminded by its collapse of the fate of a savage dog belonging to one of his neighbors in the frontier settlements in which he lived in his youth. "The dog," he said, "was the terror of the neighborhood, and its owner, a churlish and quarrelsome fellow, took pleasure in the brute's forcible attitude. Finally, all other means having failed to subdue the creature, a man loaded a lump of meat with a charge of powder, to which was attached a slow fuse; this was dropped where the dreaded dog would find it, and the animal gulped down the tempting bit. There was a dull rumbling, a muffled explosion, and fragments of the dog were seen flying in every direction. The grieved owner, picking up the shattered remains of his cruel favorite, said: 'He was a good dog, but as a dog, his days of usefulness are over.' Hood's army was a good army," said Lincoln, by way of comment, “and we were all afraid of it, but as an army, its usefulness is gone."

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