the regards of the East Indian son of Esculapius, bare sight of an apothecary's huxtery filled me because, in his opinion, that personage had tar- with disgust, and if left to myself I would sooner nished the fair fame of the family by adopting an have perished by inches than imbibe a curative occupation so closely allied to that of a carnifex. draught, whether white or black. And here it is proper to mention that the Lynches However, as the old proverb inculcates, men belonged to the genuine "ould Milesian stock," must needs progress when impelled by a certain unno fewer than ten kings, besides bishops beyond orthodox personage. I had seen enough of my the range of arithmetic to compute, having given avuncular relative to be convinced that any oppodignity to their genealogical muster-roll. When, sition to his behests would be followed by my distherefore, Cuthbert Lynch betook himself to the missal with empty pockets. With a self-denying purchase and venditure of smoked hams and sides resolution therefore, which would have sufficed for of bacon, he was regarded by the clan as having committed an act of self-excommunication, and all intercourse with him was broken off. Hence it came to pass that the Doctor on leaving Cork, directed his steps to Paisley instead of Glasgow, and became a welcome inmate of Lieutenant Stobo's domicile. a stoic or a North American Indian, I professed my willingness to embrace the pistellum et mortarium, and was bound apprentice to Dr. Corkindale the surgeon of the jail. On the day when the indenture was executed my uncle, as we were sitting at dinner, showed me a deed subscribed by himself, which he inEre long it became a matter of notoriety that I formed me was his will. "When I am dead and had been fortunate enough to acquire the especial gone, my boy,” said he, “ you will find something good graces of my uncle. Doubtless the circum- here quite as interesting to read as a new novel." stance that I had been named after him at the 68 Far distant be the day," was my answer, as the baptismal font, tended to bring about this fortunate tears dropped from my eyes, for 1 loved the old state of things. Be that as it may, the Doctor, man with all his Bashawism, “far distant be the before six months had elapsed, proclaimed his in-day, on which I shall be so interested. Without tention of making me his heir, on condition that I exaggeration, I can say with the Persians, may you should reside with him, and dutifully conform to live a thousand years." The Doctor, who loved all his requirements. As it was notorious that the his joke, rejoined, "If you had been a full bred medico had realized a snug competency of some Irishman, Denis, you would have said for ever and thirty thousand pounds, no objection was made to a day longer! But fill up your tumbler, it will the terms with which the offer was qualified; and be time enough for me to think of dying when you my uncle, to whom Paisley was rather a dull lo- are entitled to feel my pulse as one of the faculty!" cality, having, in the language of Jonathan, "elected" to reside in Glasgow, I accompanied him to that city. It is hardly necessary for me to say that I made but slender progress in my uncongenial studies. The more I attempted to grapple with them, the Doctor Lynch was a great enthusiast in his pro- more repulsive did they become, till at length I fession, looking upon the healing art as the noblest merely preserved the appearance of pursuing them. subject which could engage the attention of man. Instead of attending the dissecting room or hospital Accordingly we had not long been settled in our I wandered by the banks of the Clyde or the new quarters before he insisted-I use this word Kelvin, and though I showed face in the lecture because the old gentleman was peremptory as halls, some volume of belles lettres was the text Nicholas himself—that I should begin forthwith to book which lay on the desk before me, in place fit myself for obtaining a degree in medicine. To of Bell's Surgery. quote his own words, if he could only live to see One of the most diligent and laborious of my me write M.D., at the stern of my name, he might fellow students was Phelim Lynch, the son of my be waked thereafter with all convenient despatch. ham curing uncle. Though my own cousin, I Now, of all occupations in this industrial planet, must candidly say that a more disagreeable lookthe one which from boyhood had been most dis- ing specimen of humanity could not easily be met tasteful and revolting to me was that of a leech. with during the currency of a mid-summer's day. To my mind it suggested associations which did He was low in stature, carried a hunch on his not present a single redeeming feature. At an back which would have fitted a camel, and one of early period of my history I had been afflicted with his eyes uniformly pointed north when scrutinizan obstinate and protracted illness, rendering a fre- ing an object situated in the south. quent and copious administration of nauseous drugs With all these physical drawbacks, however, a matter of necessity. Hence originated a dislike my cousin Phelim had a wonderfully insinuating to the entire pharmacopoeia which grew with my manner. His powers of blarney and soft sawder years, and strengthened with my strength. The were very great, and he possessed the art of adapt ing himself to the tastes and predilections of all have sailed up the river of my existence for three sorts and conditions of men. years, and thus been enabled to make the downward For a long period but little intimacy existed be-voyage in a more sane and profitable manner. tween us. We were on civil speaking terms, but In a species of stupor I sat in the ante-room, till that was all. Doctor Lynch had never recognized my turn for examination came round. One by the existence of his brother, and consequently was one my companions were summoned till at length hardly cognizant of the existence of Phelim. Of Phelim Lynch and myself alone remained. After course it was neither my interest nor my desire a while he likewise was called upon by the janitor, that a more cordial state of matters should prevail, and for a season, which seemed a dismal age, I sat and consequently I never invited my cousin to in solitary misery. visit us, nor ever hinted to our uncle that I was daily in the habit of seeing him. Like a blast from the archangel's grave-rending trumpet, I heard my name pronounced by the By degrees, however, Phelim insinuated himself attendant! I felt as if I could have strangled the into my confidence. He was assiduous in paying fellow where he stood. There was something me little marks of attention which gratified my diabolically aggravating in the contrast which vanity, causing me to look upon him with com- the cool, matter-of-fact tones of his voice presented placency, if not with esteem. Finding out that I to the wild hurricane of despair at that moment possessed a literary turn of mind, and sometimes raging within me. gave way to the weakness of verse mannfacturing, There is no necessity for my recounting the he prevailed upon me to show him some of the events which the next quarter of an hour witnessed. efforts of my unfledged muse. These he praised Though my judges, I believe, were lenient, as with an ardour, which I am now convinced must much so probably, as was consistent with their have been altogether simulated. No man of sound duty, the answers which I gave fell far short of judgment could have lauded ex animo such miser- the meanest standard which they could recogable abortions, and with all his faults, my cousin nize. In their looks I read my fate, long before could not be charged with lack of taste or sense. their tongues gave it utterance. One glance at After a season the wily schemer proposed that I the stern, indignant, and yet sorrowful countenance should send certain of my crazy rhymes to the of my uncle added the crowning drop to the cup Chronicle, at that period the literary cess pool, or of my measureless misery. I staggered from the jaw box of Glasgow, where trash of every decrip- hall in an agony of shame, and falling headlong tion was certain of insertion, if not violating the down the stairs was wrapped for, I know not how first canons of grammar. In an evil moment I long, in the merciful mantle of dreamless oblivion. followed the tempting advice, and my offering being inserted I became flushed, so to speak, with the typographical fever, and fell an unresisting victim to the eacoethes scribendi. The upshot may be readily anticipated. My proper studies were neglected more than ever, and my utmost ambition was to be esteemed a man of letters. Alas! how many thousands are constantly making shipwreck of their fortunes upon a similar rock. Thus years sped away, and the period at length drew on when it behoved me to undergo the examination for my degree. Being a member of the profession, Doctor Lynch, who naturally felt a deep interest in the ordeal to which I was to be subjected, easily obtained permission to be present on the occasion. It was on a quiet, sunny, summer evening that I again became a conscious denizen of this earth. Near the bed on which I reclined was seated my cousin Phelim Lynch, evidently now a regular inmate of the house. At the table stood the Doctor engaged in burning some dismembered sheets of paper by means of a lighted taper. Weak and dim as were my eyes they were still able to make out the large round text backing which appeared upon the last incremated fragment. The old man had destroyed his will. From that time forward my cousin and myself resided with our uncle, and verily we were a joyless and most uncordial family. The Doctor at first drew greatly to Phelim, with whom he loved to converse on medical topics, but gradually, I With a heart prophetically heavy, I accompanied could perceive, his regard suffered a declension. him to the inquisitorial hall on the appointed day. There was something selfish and calculating about How bitter were my sensations as I ascended the my rival, which the Doctor could not away with, steps which led to what I justly regarded as my so foreign was it to his own frank, though eccentorture chamber. Vividly there passed before my tric, disposition, and I began to cherish sanguine mind's eye a retrospect of dissipated time, and hopes that I would once more regain a footing in neglected opportunities. At that moment I would his affections. willingly have parted with a limb if I could only! The marriage of one of my sisters took me to Paisley, and after the wedding I protracted my Often have I thought over the matter, and the stay for some weeks. At length I received a com- more I have mused the stronger has become my munication from Dr. Lynch, stating that he had conviction, that I had read his facial speech corbeen attacked with apoplexy, and requesting my rectly. immediate return, as he dreaded another blow, The sad scene was not long protracted. With which, in all probability, would prove fatal. The the futile earnestness of a Titan, seeking to throw scrawling manner in which this missive was writ-off the Etna which crushed him to the earth, Denis ten sufficiently demonstrated the shattered condi- Lynch made one more attempt to give his wishes tion of the writer, and without a moment's delay voice. Looking first at me he turned to his brother I hurried to his dwelling. and succeeded spasmodically in stuttering forth the Quickly as I travelled, and short the distance single word WILL! Ere the lapse of two more which had to be overtaken, I came too late. A seconds, death had struck him dumb for ever. second time had the marble-armed messenger of After the funeral, the legal agent of the deceased death smitten the old man, and though still alive produced a testament regularly drawn, and duly and conscious when I entered the chamber he was executed. By this deed, which was dated a few speechless, and just drifting into the unfathomed days after the miserable catastrophe of my examigulph of eternity. nation, Doctor Lynch, after bequeathing to me the The only individuals who watched the bed of sum of five hundred pounds, left the entire residue the dying man were Phelim and his father. Great of his means and estate to my cousin Phelim. It was my astonishment at finding this last alluded was added by way of reason for this disposition of to personage in such a locality. I well knew that his property, that the aforesaid Phelim Lynch had the Doctor could never bear even to hear mention demonstrated an enthusiasm for the medical promade of his name, and I could not comprehend, fession which highly gratified him, while, on the consequently, how he had come to invite his pre-other hand, his other nephew and name-sake had sence at this season. unfortunately evidenced a disposition diametrically the reverse. One thing was very obvious, that it was not affection which had impelled the dying man to Prepared, as I was in no small degree for this seek, at the eleventh hour, an interview with one upshot, it came upon me with stunning bitterness. who, during the currency of life, had been so My mind could with difficulty realize the fact that utterly distasteful to him. From his couch of un- the bright and sunny castles which for years I had rest he glared at the mean, sinister looking huxter, been building in the air, had vanished like the thin with an expression which spoke as plainly as words mist of a mid-summer's morning. Though not could do, that that he regarded him as an unwel- left a beggar, by any means, the sum at my comcome and abominated intruder. mand was a pitiful pittance compared with the fortune which I had deemed my own; and listless and apathetic I wandered upon the face of the earth, crying ichabod, and well-a-wa, over ruined hopes and blighted expectations. When my fast expiring uncle became cognizant of my presence this silent language became more emphatic and significant. Feeble, and more than half dead as he was, he made a desperate effort to raise himself from the bed, and clutch the pale Cuthbert Lynch, and his fortunate son, had never and shrinking caitiff, as if for the purpose of con- dwelt together in a very affectionate or harmonious straining him to give up some precious article manner. The young man, who despite his unprewhich he had unlawfully become possessed of. possessing exterior had much of the fop in his comThe exertion was all in vain. Disease had too position, conceived at an early age a feeling of effectually manacled its captive to permit the slightest exercise of his physical powers. shame against the ungainly and unkempt senior. He regarded him as a drag chain in his efforts to attain a position at society's table above the salt, and so far as in him lay gave him a wide berth. Never, to the latest moment of existence, can I forget the varied expressions which continued to flit athwart that distracted visage, as long as life's In these circumstances, which were patent to all flickering taper remained burning. Anguish, rage, who were acquainted with the pair, it was naturally remorse, and hatred succeeded each other like the anticipated that but slender intercourse would exist tints of the dying dolphin. It might have been between them after the accession of Phelim to forimagination on my part, but, I could not help tune. Different far, however, was the result. thinking that whenever the poor Doctor looked When young Lynch removed to a fashionable upon me the pantomimic emotions which I have domicile in Blythswood square, his father gave up above detailed, gave place to the tenderest pity. business and accompanied him thither. At his He seemed to be realizing and foreseeing the hard-most ambitious and showy parties the uncouth exships which awaited me on my future pilgrimage. pork dealer was always to be found, though it was plain that he was regarded by the owner of the And here it is necessary for me to state, that mansion as an intruder whose absence would have during the discussion of sundry schemes I had been deemed a relief. There he sat apparently indoctrinated Mr. Wood Nutmeg (for so was the for no other purpose than to play the part enacted aforesaid "agent" named,) with the fact that I by skulls at the banquets of the ancients. He was was a passionate admirer of fine scenery. "Give a perennial memorial that his aspiring son was me," said I, "hill and dale, leafy bank and flowery sprung from a non-aristocratic and most plebeian brae, and I will make you welcome to the residue sire. So far as I can learn, this perplexingly mys-of creation." terious state of things still continues. Whether As I uttered these enthusiastic words, I could time, that reader of so many riddles, will furnish a detect a tear stealing into the eye of Mr. Nutmeg solution of the problem remains to be seen. -the gent, it may be stated, had lost its mate by When my powers of volition and of action were the process of gouging! Grasping my hand, he in some measure restored, I fell seriously to con- exclaimed-"Them's my sentiments to a hair! sider what my future course of life should be. In- The pic-tooresque is the only thing worth living experienced though I was in matters of business, for! I have got a terrestrial paradise to dispose of, it was impossible for me to be ignorant that five which is the very particular ticket you want; and hundred pounds, if merely put out to usury, would to-morrow morning, please the fates, I shall take go but a small way towards my sustentation. Hav-you to see it!" ing no knowledge of trade, and being unfitted for Of course I was no match for such a "smart the practice of any profession, emigration appeared man" as Squire Wood Nutmeg. Though the the only resource which lay at my option. Ac-" paradise," which was the theme of his laudations, cordingly having made the necessary preliminary was a mere cento of marsh and sand, situated (I arrangements, I sailed from Greenock for Canada like to be specific) between Toronto and Port in the good ship Caledonia, commanded by skipper Credit-he persuaded me that it was one of the Allan, and after a pleasant voyage reached Toronto most desirable lo-cations in British North Amerisound in wind and limb. Parties, who may be kay. Before sunset, an additional proof was furcurious to ascertain with accuracy the narrator's nished to the orthodoxy of the proverb which identity, will find my name recorded in the bar-declares that "a fool and his money are soon register of the North American Hotel for the month parted,”—and the next day I dated a letter to the of August, in the year of grace one thousand eight barrack-master of Paisley from my estate of Moshundred and forty-four. quito Swamp! It is hardly necessary for me to say that, like the majority of adventurers similarly situated, my primary and absorbing desire was to become a lord of the soil. Alexander Pope ("the little crooked thing that asked questions") informs us that Surely I need not detail the events of the ensuing six years? Cognate stories are being told every day, and the most unobservant runner can hardly fail to read them! A romantic young couple, whose knowledge of agriculture was derived from bucolic poems, and "domestic melo-dramas," would most probably "Tis pleasant, sure, to see one's self in print; A book's a book, although there's nothing in't?" Even so to a raw, unfledged "old countryman," have cottoned hugely to my domain, especially there is something superlatively intoxicating in the when viewing it from the road in summer time! idea of acquiring landed property. In the estima- If, however, the Damon and Phyllis had calculated tion of such a one “a farm's a farm," although it should be barren and unproductive as a guinea imprisoned in the chest of a miser. Hardly, therefore, had I recovered from the fatigue of my trans-atlantic expedition, than I set about the task of transmuting my gold into clay, thus reversing the process of alchymy! Verily had I been one of the dreaming "adepts" I could not more effectually have translated the means and substance which I possessed, into dross and ashes! on keeping even an oatmeal porridge pot boiling from the product of the soil, they would have found themselves consumedly off their eggs! Even an experienced Cuddie Headrigg, who "From his salad days had lisped of crops," would with difficulty have maintained the union between soul and body, on such a clearing! Utterly unacquainted with the simplest opera tions of husbandry, I had to depend upon "hired men" for every potatoe and grain of wheat which A crafty and insinuating "agent," whose ac- was engendered upon the farm. Thus it naturally quaintance I made at the hospitable bar of the and necessarily fell out that with me debts accuWellington, and who took the exact measure of mulated with a million fold greater fecundity my foot in some fifteen minutes, persuaded me that than did grain, till at length the hounding the wolf he had a lot to dispose of, which was the identical from the door, would have shrewdly taxed the thing I desiderated. pith and bottom of Hercules himself! If I followed the example of many of my Cana "The crib is convenient," dian compatriots, I should here break forth into a affording room for two to take as much ease as if series of maledictions against this "abominable they were in an Inn. Here, under the genial country!" Instead of doing so, however, I shall influence of a mild cigar, and a glass of "cold put a per contra case. without," or lemon syrup, according as the guest An honest Esquesing farmer takes it into his swears by Bacchus or Father Matthew, sundry noddle to emigrate to England, and pitches his tent narrations are periodically delivered by the parties in the metropolis thereof. Though as ignorant of who enjoy my hospitality. the mysteries of shopkeeping, as I was of plough The editor of the Anglo-American recently ing and chopping, he sets up as a dealer in musco- spent a few hours in my den, and at his request I vado, blacking, green tea, and brown soap. What have commenced this series of papers. They will would be the almost inevitable result? Why, ere consist of the more interesting confessions or the world had become six years more ancient, the legends detailed to me by my guests, and, as a name of poor Mush Maple would swell the muster-general rule, will be told in the ipsissima verba of roll of insolvency, and the white-wash brush of a the narrators. Commissioner of Bankruptcy would be required to obliterate the consequences of his dementation! With one cautionary remark, I wind up this preliminary yarn. If any pilgrim who makes a voyage in that crack steamer the repugnance to beholding his name and adventures THE PURSERS CABIN! Now what estimate would people form of the fairness or sanity of Mr. Maple, if he should put forth a history of his mercantile mis-adventures, in print, let him, by all means, avoid written so as to convey the impression that they furnished a fair sample of the huxtering capabilities of London? I leave the soured and misanthropical amateur agriculturists of this noble, but too often, idiotically maligned colony, to answer the question! In process of time it became the duty of the Sheriff to investigate the state of my affairs, and, finding I could make nothing out of Mosquito Swamp, that considerate functionary disposed of it to another. May my successor be more fortunate than I was, is the heartfelt orison of the spinner of these yarns! Once more SIN AND LOVE. BY THE REV. R. J. MACGEORGE. What is sin? On Calvary II. "The world was all before me where to choose." How I spent my time antecedently to my obtaining the berth which I now hold, it is not my intention Why does blood His fair limbs stain? at present to record. At some future period I Wherefor broil His nerves with pain? may narrate my experiences as clerk in a country Whence the mystic lonesome cry, store-a common school teacher-and a pettifog-“ Eli lama sabachthani ?" ging practitioner before the District Courts. All A world's guilt his soul doth wring! these gradations of misery I passed through; and A world's guilt lends death its sting! if ever a sinner served out his purgatorial proba tion on this earth, I am the man! At length I was appointed Purser to the In a III. What is love? Oh can you ask! has a What urged the God-man to His task? IV. I was almost blabbing the name of the vessel! "My custom of an afternoon" to invite into my cabin some passenger, whose the man in the play says, |