"That is at all events a piece of practical philosophy worth knowing; and I shall accordingly instruct my operator, Jerry Styles, upon this point," observed the vicar.

66

So you see, my dear Sir, I am no bad shoemaker, although I have never yet made a shoe."

"To be sure to be sure," exclaimed the vicar; "for as Horace has it

.

sapiens crepidas sibi nunquam

Nec soleas fecit; sutor tamen est sapiens.""*

Hor., lib. i., sat. 3.

"You never made a happier quotation,” exclaimed Mr Seymour. "I have only one other remark to make," continued he, " which the consideration of this subject has very naturally suggested—that the various strange sounds, which have from time to time alarmed the superstitious, may be readily explained upon the simple principles we have been discussing. I well remember a whole family having been thrown into a state of terror, by a mysterious sound which regularly recurred every evening; when it was at length disovered to arise from the crawling of snails over the window; their slimy surfaces, as they moved along, produced a friction, which occasioned a vibration of the glass."

"And I never recall to my recollection, without some degree of terror," said the vicar, "the night I passed in an old oaken chamber which had the reputation of being haunted. A bright fire cheerfully blazed in the grate as I entered the apartment, and casting its ruddy light around, in some measure dissipated the prejudice which had been raised to the disparagement of my dormitory; but awaking in the night, my fire was out, and a succession of the most extraordinary noises I ever heard assailed me."

"All which are easily explicable," said Mr Seymour. "The old oaken materials were expanded by the heat of your fire, and on the apartment cooling, they again contracted, and gave origin to all the sounds you describe."

"How unsparingly does science clip the wings of imagination!" observed Miss Villers.

66

Reverting to the more humble subject of shoemaking," said Mr Seymour, "let me ask the vicar, whether he remembers the receipt of Orator Henley, for making a pair in a few minutes.”

"I remember it well; he collected a number of shoemakers by promising to impart his great secret to them; and this wonderful abridgment of time and labour was exhibited to his gaping auditors by cutting off the tops of a ready-made pair of boots!"

"For though the wise nor shoes nor He's yet a skilful shoemaker by

slippers made,

trade."

"I think," said Mr Seymour, "when Tom has solved the enigma I am about to propose, you will allow that, as a paradoxical shoemaker, I have fairly beaten the Orator out of the field."

"A shoemaker once made shoes without leather,

With all the four elements join'd together;

There were FIRE and WATER, and EARTH too, and AIR,
And most of his customers wanted two pair."

U

ness.

CHAPTER XXI.

FOR Some time had Major Snapwell been occupied in making arrangements for an event, which he hailed not only as the accomplishment of his most ardent wishes, but as the guarantee of his future happiWe did not think it right to impart this secret to our readers, until the period should arrive when, in conformity with the usage of the world, the subject might be referred to without reserve or impropriety. To such a period has our history arrived, and we shall there. fore at once communicate the whole story, by relating the substance of a conversation which took place between Major Snapwell and the vicar, in the presence of Mr and Mrs Seymour, in the library of Overton Lodge.

66 Your hand, my dearest friend! your hand, and with it the congratulations of your heart," exclaimed the major, as he approached Mr Twaddleton; 66 our friends here," added he, as he bowed to Mr and Mrs Seymour, "are already acquainted with the proposed union between my worthy nephew, Henry Beecham, and the charming

Isabella Villers; and may Heaven shed the dew of its blessing upon them!"

"Amen!" ejaculated the vicar.

"Well, Sir, I am most anxious that the ceremony should take place at Overton, and that you should officiate upon the occasion.” "Most cheerfully shall I comply with your request; connubio jungam stabili,' as the immortal poet has it."

“I have also to inform you," continued the major, “ that it is my wish to diffuse a portion of that delight, which this event will impart to me, over the neighbourhood in which I shall probably pass the days that may be yet spared to me; listen, therefore, to the scheme which I have devised for carrying this into effect. I design to give a public entertainment, upon a plan as novel as its scale shall be extensive; it shall not be a mere blaze of the spirits, but the recreation of the mind, and the jubilee of reason."

"An entertainment," muttered the vicar, whose countenance afforded anything but encouragement to such a scheme.

66

Ay, vicar; an entertainment which shall be conducted with every regard to ancient usage and classical correctness," said the major, as he cast a sly glance at Mr Seymour.

The countenance of the vicar brightened; and he begged his worthy friend to be more explicit, and to state the nature of his intended fête.

"I have just told you that this boy of mine is shortly to conduct Miss Villers to the temple of Hymen; I would seize that happy occasion for giving a rural fête, in my park, to the inhabitants of Overton and its neighbourhood; and, as there are no less than three events which I am anxious to celebrate, I propose that this same fête shall be continued through three successive days. On the first shall be commemorated the providential escape of my nephew from shipwreck; on the second, his marriage; and on the third, my purchase and occupation of Osterley Park. What think you of my plan ?" 66 Why, truly, that it would admit of much appropriate pageantry, and be countenanced by classical authority: Augustus triumphed three days, for the purpose of commemorating three great events; the first of which was the defeat of the Pannonians and Dalmatii; the second, the battle of Actium; and the third, the reduction of Egypt. Then, again, we have the Ludi Magni of the Romans, and the solemn Athenian feast, Apaturia, which lasted during three days; and, above all, the secular games, which were continued through the same period. In the face of such authorities, it would ill become the classical scholar to offer any objection; although, as vicar of the parish, I cannot conscientiously close my eyes against the evils which might possibly arise from such protracted revelry. I would therefore, with submission, propose that the three events to which you allude, the importance of

E

which I most fully appreciate, should be celebrated by three distinct festivals on one and the same day."

The major saw plainly that the vicar might be made to approve of, or to dissent from any plan, by the dexterous use of classical authority; he therefore determined to use it, as he had so successfully done on former occasions, as a talisman for the accomplishment of his purpose. I like your proposition," observed the major, "but I greatly fear that you will not be able to support it by any classical authority; and, remember, I must have everything conducted in the strictest accordance with ancient usage."

66

"Your intention commands my profound respect," answered the vicar, "and I will not lose any time in searching the writings of Lipsius for a precedent, an author who has collected fifteen laws of the Roman entertainments; or, perhaps, the Pandects of Franciscus Modius, who has so ably treated of nuptial ceremonies, will furnish the desired information; but no matter, a precedent must be found, and I will produce it."

Mr Seymour here interrupted the conversation by inquiring of the major the plan of those amusements which he proposed to provide.

"My plan is to convert the elm-meadow at Osterley Park into a fair," said the major, "wherein every kind of amusement that I can command shall be exhibited-tumblers-rope-dancers-conjurors, and, in short, the whole merry train of Comus shall be pressed into our service; and, in spite of the Peace Congress, who have denounced Punch as the embodied spirit of pugnacity, I will never discard the old friend of my youth; he shall certainly be engaged to display his hereditary wit and mimic drolleries; and although as a needy vagabond he is at length doomed, by an ungrateful public, to roam about the world, like a snail, with his house on his back, let us not forget that the time was when, like Homer, cities contended for his birth.”* I hope you will also engage the 'Fantoccini' or 'Marionettes,""+ said Louisa.

Punch's liberty should be interfered
with; that hero may, therefore, consider
himself under the especial care of the

* By many he has been considered of | French origin; but Naples would appear to have the best claim to the honour. Mr Payne Collier makes our Eng-legislature.-ED.) lish Punch date from 1688, and brings him over from Holland in the same ship with William of Orange; M. Mangin joins issue with him on this point, and attempts to shew that he existed in the days of Elizabeth. In the early period of his career in England, we find Punch and Punchinello used indifferently. Under the name of Ponchi or Ponki, he has long figured in China as a dwarf. (When the new Police Act was under consideration, one of the clauses was struck out, lest, through a mistaken construction,

MARIONETTE, the French word for puppet, originally applied to the Virgin. Mary, who, in the days of "Mariolatry," appeared in a sort of miracle play; but the term, like many others of the same kind, has lost its exclusive application. The earliest puppet was certainly the Doll; but it has been questioned whether it was the emblem of precocious maternity, or a symbol of religious veneration (Penates.) Did it spring from the hearth or the altar? The word Doll would seem to be a corruption of Idol.