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Whenever the conversation started he 'd

say to himself: “I 'll lie low till it comes my way Then I 'll show 'em." But they never mentioned the cæsural

pause, And rarely the first Archilochian strophe, Nor Vercingetorix, nor the mute with

1 or r.

He had never got far enough to meet a

reflection of Horace's About those on whose cradles

Melpomene smiles,
But he knew he could n't play an

Isthmian game as well as T. R.
Father Jim took him into the office.
He did not seem the worse for disci-

plining his mind. He could make a deal unice securus,

however disadvantageous to the

buyer,
And knew the difference betwixt a

Martini and a Bronx,
And appreciated the roundness of a

maiden's arm,
Without the help of Horace.

J. H. R. New York, April 16.

Although he did n't catch the sort of cul.

tivation to which occasional contact

with the faculty exposed him, He learned that the most important

thing in life Is that the score on November 20 should

be 16-0 and not 0-16. And the next most important thing is to

get by with a C in at least three out

of five courses. He learned what loyalty to an educa

tional institution is, To smoke cigarettes on the bleachers and

yell at last practice. He learned that the first and great

commandment is, Thou shalt bet on thy teams and refrain

from independent thinking and look with a skeptic eye on Phi Beta

Kappa. Thus did college instil in George a sense

of proportion, A sense of permanent values. So he went out into the world, And he said, “I 'll lie low till it comes

my way, Then I 'll show 'em." And it came his way. He could talk sports and stocks and

drinks and motor-cars with the best

of the brokers, And he got promoted in the bank because

he had belonged to Beta Veta Delta

and played left tackle. To-day he has three limousines to his

father's one, And a town house And a yacht And a place at Tuxedo And a camp in the Adirondacks with

twenty guest-rooms and thirty baths. And when the application blanks for the

boat-race come around He puts fifty dollars on the crew, And with the words, "It is n't the studies that count in college, It 's the college life,” He thanks his father's memory for his education.

F. L. A.

Ode to Professor James Harvey Robinson

THEN Tom Reilly had grown to

elderly prosperity, So that he rode down-town in his limou

sine at ten A.M., preceded by six

inches of cigar, He said to his son George: George, college did worlds for me. I don't remember a darned thing I

learned there, but The fellows I played round with are

now my fellow-directors, And my intimacy with them is profitable. Which college do you prefer?" And George said, “Thank you, Father," And selected the college that had just

made a clean sweep in major sports.

So George went.
He learned lots of things.

THE DE VINNE PRESS, NEW YORK

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"A brother offended is harder to be won wards, who were egregiously male. Howthan a strong city; and their contentions are ever, he treated them with an impartial like the bars of a castle."

courtesy during their holidays, sent them Prov. xviii, 19. to such matinées as seemed suitable, and

hired, from their income, a healthy young BEN and Judson Harland were the tutor who looked after their summer di

sons of that Captain Harland who versions at Edgar's agreeable cottage close was shot, it is not forgotten, by a progres- to Gloucester. Edgar was an excellent sive Filipino gentleman of Manila in Oc- guardian to this extent. tober, 1898. His widow did not hear of As an observer of life, he noted the this disaster. She died before the War twins from time to time, in no inquisitive Department found time to inform her, manner, but with calm amusement at the and left the twins to the care of Edgar faithful repetition of the human comedy Harland. He had no experience in pa- they were enacting. Eben, the one-hour ternal duties even of a vicarious sort, but precursor of Judson, was, he saw, the less he shrugged his thin shoulders, adminis- variable of the two and a trifle the more tered his brother's estate, and put his perceptive. He made friends slowly, lost charges in a highly recommended school them slowly, clung to Judson with a for boys under fourteen near Philadelphia. methodical devotion in times of trouble, The estate yielded exactly four thousand and possessed a vague talent for drawing, dollars a year, quite ample provision for which Mr. Chase, the tutor, encouraged. the twins, and the school seemed to please His behavior was entirely normal save them. Edgar testified to his relief by that he inclined toward silence. despatching a twelve-pound box of choco- Judson was talkative, mildly mischievlates, and went abroad. He lived abroad ous, easily fickle in social relations, and as much as possible, collecting books and a wretched mathematician. He had a curious prints. In New York his friends loudly expressed desire to be a soldier, were principally women. He did not care and was full of interest in Captain Harfor men; they were apt to require re- land's honorable career. He had a few sponse and a warmth he was not able to physical tricks which differentiated him feign. Consistently, he rather disliked his from his twin brother, 'a certain grace Copyright, 1917, by THE CENTURY CO.

All rights reserved.

says."

in motion, and an odd habit of smiling Edgar a letter of fervid enthusiasm, and when he was most angry, with the per- the twins' bedroom became decorated with fect smile of pleased childhood. Also he photographs of athletic groups. They had a small mole on his left shoulder, liked St. Paul's. Several ladies rather which identified him as the cadet.

gushed to Edgar about his splendid For the boys were minutely similar in nephews. He assumed that the juxtaposievery other way. Seen in bed, no one tion of sea-gray eyes and curling bronze could tell them apart; but as they were hair drew the female soul. Personally perpetually together, it did not afflict their these embellishments did not retrieve, for acquaintance. They could be addressed him, jaws that were somewhat heavy and collectively as “Twin” if one was not noses a trifle too short. The long, comsure as to which was Ben or Jud. Their pact bodies he conceded, and the clear devotion entertained Edgar. They loved smooth skins were all he could ask. He each other with what he regarded as a was a very ugly man, but he did not envy foolish fervor. He considered them these belongings, since they cloaked a drugged in mirrored self-admiration. spirit so obsolescent. Eben believed Judson the most charming Time passed. He did not endeavor to society earth afforded, and Judson's Mo- deflect their purpose from Yale. He besaic law was contained in the phrase "Ben lieved that the alleged crudities of that

university would suit their lack of temperGiven a wet summer day, they would ament. They played foot-ball, he underisolate themselves in some corner and con- stood, with some success and rowed in the verse or drowse peaceably for the complete Shattuck Club crews. Eben began to properiod between meal and meal. They

They duce drawings that were not free of merit. never quarreled, they seldom argued, they Judson's deficiencies in mathematics were defended each other against the world with recorded in letters to Edgar, who wrote savage simplicity. Edgar profited by this the lad, civilly advising application. He state; it got him a quiet house, a reputa- fancied that the failing would correct tion for domestic mastery. Handsome itself. They became seventeen in April. ladies consulted him as to their offspring In June the head-master of St. Paul's and the vagaries of infancy. He replied informed Edgar that since the school could in scented English modeled upon that of not possibly recommend Judson for the Walter Pater, his particular idol, of Yale entrance examinations in second alwhose works he possessed a complete first gebra or even plane geometry, the headedition, bound in peacock leather by Ri

master feared that it would also be imposvière. It somewhat fretted his spirit that sible to graduate him. Edgar went imthe twins admired his books. He would mediately abroad and returned in late Auhave preferred an entire barbarism.

gust, to avoid possible unpleasantness. Time passed. They agonized his ears The twins, however, did not worry him one summer by a cacophony of changing with their patent tragedy. The headthroats. Young Chase called his attention master of St. Paul's declined to allow to the fact of growth, and kissed them Eben an idle

year with his brother. Eben good-by in September with ludicrous, hon- had selected a substitute room-mate for est tears. He was going to Alaska. him at Yale, Arthur Letellier of St. Louis.

“They 're more to me than any one but He told Edgar this in a subdued manner my mother," he told Edgar. Edgar noted when Judson was elsewhere, and added that the twins excited love. They emerged miserably: from Philadelphia at Christmas with

“Perhaps it 's a little better this way. pleasant barytone voices, and demanded can sort of help Jud along next year-adlong trousers. Next autumn he sent them vice and that sort of thing." to St. Paul's School. An old classmate,

"Quite possibly,” said Edgar, observing now an instructor in that place, wrote the droop of the too wide mouth.

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