Hob. Holloa! That's the postman's knock. Mr. B. Another letter, Mr. Hob, two pence more. Hob. I forgive you again. (Taking letter. Exit Mr. Bouncer.) Another trifle from Margate. (Opens letter— starts.) Goodness gracious! Nob, (snatching letter-starts.) Gracious goodness! Hob, (snatching letter again—reads.) "Happy to inform false alarm." you Nob, (overlooking.) "Sudden squall-boat upset "Picked up by a steamboat” Mrs. Wiggins, your intended " Hob. Nob. "Carried into Boulogne" Hob. "Returned here this morning " Nob. "Will start by early train to-morrow." Hob. "And be with you at ten o'clock, exact." (Both simultaneously pull out their watches.) Nob. Hob, I congratulate you. Hob. Nob, I give you joy. Nob. I'm sorry that most important business at the Colonial Office will prevent my witnessing the truly happy meeting between you and your intended. Good-morning. (Going.) Hob, (stopping him.) It's obviously for me to retire. Not for worlds would I disturb the rapturous meeting between you and your intended. Good-morning. Nob. You'll excuse me, sir, but our last arrangement was that she was your intended. Hob. No, yours! Nob. Yours! Hob and Nob. Yours! (Ten o'clock strikes outside, L.; noise as if of a carriage.) Nob. Ha! what's that A cab's drawn up at the door Running to window.) Hob, (leaning over Nob's shoulder.) A lady's got out. Nob. There's no mistaking that majestic person- it's Penelope Ann! Hob. Your intended! Nob. Yours! Hob. Yours! Nob. Hark! she's coming up stairs. Mr. B. (without.) Mr. Hob! Mr. Hob! Nob. So have I. Mr. B. (entering L.) It's only me-Mr. Bounce.. Mr. B. Gone,—and she's left a note for Mr. Hob. Hob, (reading.) "Dear Mr. Hob, pardon my candor"— Nob, (looking over and reading.) "But being convinced that our feelings, like our ages, do not reciprocate,” Hob. "I hasten to apprize you of my immediate union”— Nob. "With Mr. Bob." Hob. Huzza! Nob. Three cheers for Bob! Ha, ha, ha! Mr. B., (putting his head in L.) The little second floor back room is quite ready. Hob. I don't want it. Nob. No more do I. Hob. What shall tear us asunder? Nob. What shall part us? Hob. Nob! Nob. Hob! (About to embrace; Nob stops, seizes Hob's hand, and looks eagerly in his face.) You'll excuse the ap parent insanity of the remark, but the more I gaze on your features, the more I'm convinced that you're my long lost brother Hob. The very observation I was going to make to you! Nob. Ah! tell me, in mercy tell me! have you such a thing as a strawberry mark on your left arm? Nob. Then it is he! (They rush into each others arms.) Hob. Of course, we stop where we are. Nob. Of course. Hob. For, between you and me, I'm rather partial to this house. Nob. So am I. I begin to feel quite at home in it. Nob. Agreed. There's my hand upon it; (to audience,) join but yours, agree that the house is big enough to hold us both, then Nob REMARRS. The part of Carlitz should be performed in a serio-comic manner; that of Renslaus gruffly, in the style of a soldier long used to move and speak with trained precision; Brandt has but to take a waiter at a country inn for his model. The part of Christine requires great delicacy in personation. It is presumed that but few females are incapable of understanding the feelings of a young maiden in her sitation, and consequently there will be but little difficulty in finding a competent personator. SCENE. A Garden. On R. H., a post with a sign upon it, "Good Entertainment for Man and Horse; a table and two chairs on stage at back, in c. As curtain rises, BRANDT comes from R. and busies himself arranging table. Renslaus, (speaking outside.) March on to the barracks, comrades! I shall halt here. (Enters, carrying a musket and knapsack, Where's the landlord, waiter? Why don't he run out to catch customers, as he's in duty bound to do! Hey, lad! how dare he send such a ninny as you to represent his dignity! Brandt. There's no landlord, sir, and mistress is busy with a party. Rens. So much the better for her. Attention! Attention! Bring me an excellent breakfast; and send me your mistress for company: I've something to say to her. Brandt. I beg your honor's pardon; but perhaps mistress would like to know your honor's name. Rens. Renslaus, the soldier. Rens. What more would you have? The name of soldier and a countryman should be a passport any where. Quick step! forward! march! (Exit Brandt R., Renslaus giving him a tap with the butt of his gun.) No bar maid? No! My heart beats! ay, ten chances to one but poor little Christine's gone! At any rate, the landlady can give me some clue. Ouf! tolerable marching this. Ten leagues before breakfast over the mountains! But we've no right to complain: the enemy we pursue keeps ahead of us for all that; and though we gave 'em now and then a few shots, by way of "how are you to-day," the unmannerly knaves wouldn't so much as turn to say, "Very well, I thank you." (Takes off his knapsack, and sets it away one side.) For the first time in my life, my luggage seems heavy. Those villainous bank-notes, no doubt; such things never before straggled into my knapsack. Poor Colonel! I think I see him yet, stretched wounded upon the field of battle! Renslaus," exclaimed he, "I have long been alone in the world I'm now quitting, and I must n't make the foe my heir. Take this pocket-book! Zounds! these bits of paper are not what I stand in need of; but cartridges, boy, cartridges!" From that hour, I've never fired a cartridge at the enemy; but I |