SPONGE, A gentleman in want of a FEEDWELL, A landlord. dinner. DALTON, A merchant. GAMMON, A fictitious character. COSTUMES. DORIC, Dress coat, black pants, | FRANK, Jacket, buttoned up, white and vest. pants, hat with gold lace band. MEASURETON, Frock coat, light❘ FEEDWELL, Vest, pants, etc., white pants, and vest. SPONGE, Shabby black suit. DALTON, Frock coat, black pants, etc. LOVELL, same as Dalton. apron. GAMMON, White hat, overcoat, black belt. WAITERS, Pants, vests, and white aprons. SCENE 1. Representation of an arbor in the center of the stage at the back; on the R., a post with a board, on which is written "Dinners Dressed on the Shortest Notice-Robert Feedwell." On the rising of the curtain, FEEDWELL and Waiters enter from R. H. Fee. Take care, there, take care! Mind you don't break the dishes or spill the gravy: this is the most particular dinner I ever had to provide in all my life. Wai. We shall be careful, sir. (Waiters exeunt R. H.) Fee. This is the long-looked for day, on which my former master, and now my near neighbor, Mr. Doric, gives his daughter in marriage to Mr. Measureton, the architect; and purely, as it would seem to me, because he has been seized himself with a mania for building. That house, which he seems almost to adore, is the first fruit of his sublime imagination; but here he comes. Enter DORIC, L. H. Doric. (L.) Well, Robert, how proceeds the dinner? Doric. That is right. Here comes my son-in-law. Meas. (L.) My dear father-in-law, the company are waiting: your presence is expected. Doric. (c.) I'm coming; but do you know the news! Mr. Dalton has bought the manor-house, upon the hill. Fee. (R.) What! Mr. Dalton, the rich merchant, who never dines with less than forty or fifty covers? Mea. What! The rich merchant, who is always building? I wish I were his architect; but as I was saying, the guests will arrive, and — Dor. And if they should arrive ten minutes too soon, you can show them over the house; let them see the grand saloon, and my new designs. But come, neighbor, I will just pop into the kitchen, take a glance at the eatables,— and then for the guests. Fee. This way your honor. (Feedwell and Doric exeunt R. H., Measureton L. H.) Enter SPONGE, cautiously from back of the stage, L. H. Sponge. No dinner yet! and nearly ten miles from London. Alas! tired of admiring, with an empty stomach, its parks, museums, streets, and cook-shop windows, I have come to try my fortune in the country; but the hour of dinner approaches, and not one invitation yet. Hallo! (Looking of L.) I believe there is to be a wedding in that house; a wedding, and I not in it? They always have good dinners a weddings! 'Tis there (pointing off L.) that Hymen ights his mighty torch, and there (smelling and pointing R.) the cook lights his mighty torch. I must have a dinner; but how am I to get it? (Feeling his pockets., Nothing there! (Feeling his stomach.) Nothing there, and in fact nothing everywhere! and, unfortunately, this is a country in which nothing is to be had for nothing. But who comes here? Enter DORIC, from R. H. What a fine figure to work upon; yes, yes, we'll dine together. Dor. There, there, not yet ready! I'm sure the guests must be quite impatient. (Looking off L.) It's astonishing what an effect my building produces at this distance; never was such a piece of architecture in this world. How beautiful the coach gates, and the two posts; then, the coach-house, the pump, the laundry, and the larder, all in the fore-court It's really a little palace. Sponge, (aside.) Oh, you're there, are you? This is the proprietor. Dor. Provided that coaches don't lose their wheels in going in that gate is delightfully narrow. I shall never leave off admiring it. Eh! what's that fellow about? (Sponge looks off L, and appears, every now and then, to write with a pencil in a small pocket-book.) Sponge. (L.) Suppose we say twenty-three feet?—twenty-three-that will bring us there; we put the dining-room into the kitchen, Dor. What! Sponge. The laundry into the pantry, and the nursery into the cellar! Dor. Why, he's turning my house out of the window. Sponge. We put that back some ten feet, and we shall have a straight line. Dor. (interrupting him.) Sir, sir, might I take the li ty of inquiring what you're about with that house? |