of fashion with whom I was intimate, could not think of curbing the propenfity.—So do habits of this nature creep and creep upon us by degrees, till they become too strong for reafon and prudence to mafter. And nothing but the fatal confequences which naturally refult from them, can restore the mind to its wonted tone.-When the ftroke comes, the world takes the alarm; and cenfures are beftowed upon us from every quarter; without its being confidered, that the infatuation has stolen upon us by imperceivable advances, clouded our perception, hoodwinked our judgement, and brought on a total blindness to the common evils.

Without having regard to the expence, I now took a houfe at Richmond. One inducement was, that Lord Tyrawley had lately returned to England, and refided at that delightful village. Notwithstanding I well knew his Lordship's inflexibility, as I have already obferved, fome glimmering hopes would now and then rife in my mind, that the regard he once had for me, would rekindle, and induce him to restore me to his favour. I had the more reafon to hope this, as Mr. Metham was now abfent; and his permitting his two nephews and his niece to live with me, gave the world affurance, that if I was not already his wife, he meant to make me fo.

The French players were fo reduced, from the little encouragement they met with, that they had nothing to fubfift on. I therefore fet on foot a fubfcription, and raised a confiderable fun for them. But by a chain of difagreeable circumftances, the Brilliant was left in the greatest distress. I therefore

complimented her with an apartment in my houfe in town, which fhe gladly accepted, till fhe could procure an engagement in fome company in her own country.

Soon after my arrival at Richmond, I had the happiness to effect a reconciliation with Lord Tyrawley. And it was fortunate for me that I did fo, as his bounty was very needful to me at this time. For notwithftanding my falary, which was a handfome one; the emoluments of my benefit, which were great; and the generofity of Mr. Metham, which was unlimited,I frequently found myself without a guinea.

A circumftance far from pleafing to a difpofition like mine, to a heart fufceptible of no gratification equal to that of relieving the neceffities of others. Of all the pleafures this world can beftow, that of giving is certainly the moft exquifite and fatisfactory. More real happiness refults from it, than can enter into the imagination of the selfish. Like Mercy," it is twice bleffed; it bleff"eth him that gives, and him that takes."

And

And if the advantage lies on either fide, it is on that of the giver.-I claim, however, no merit for the little affiftance I have been enabled to beftow on others. It was an impulfe of nature that I could not refift. It was an impulfe of nature that I wished not to refift. And though to the prefent hour I labour under many and great inconveniences from the indulgencies of this liberal difpotion; inftead of regretting it, I bless the great Giver, that he has favoured me with fo large a portion of his own beneficence.

The Marquis de Vernieul was lively, though one of the Academie Royal. Lord Tyrawley, to whom I introduced him, was much pleased with his company. And my little house in the Vineyard was always crowded. I had with me, befides my own family, the widow of Mr. Delany, and Mifs Hilyard, a daughter of Lord Frederick Cavendish, who made fuch a proficiency in dancing, that the afterwards appeared. with great eclat, upon the ftage. And though the was far from handfome, the might have madeher fortune, had the been inclined to enter the lifts of gallantry.

It was one day propofed by the Marquis, that we fhould engage the affembly-room, in order to perform fome French plays. This we accordingly fet about. The two Mifs Merediths, with whom I was ftill intimate, fpoke French like natives; and fo did my two vi

fitants..

fitants. These ladies, with myself, made a tolerable company, without the aid of the Marquis. But he joined us, and I likewife fent for Madam Brilliant, who completed our number; and in a fhort time we were able to perform Andromache, Zaire, and the Atalia of Racine.

Our frolick was, however, attended with no little expence. For we not only entertained the nobility and gentry with a mental feaft, but to fhow the liberality of our dif pofitions, we treated them, likewise, with all the delicacies the feafon would produce. These we procured from London; and I was as happy in the fplendor of the night, as if I had been really poffeffed of the power of Athalia to fupport fuch an expence. The Marquis paid for the room, lights, mufic, wine, and fervants. I furnished the wardrobe, fruit, tea, &c. &c. But this was not all; for at the conclufion of the flight, by way of epilogue, I found that I had also a debt of three hundred pounds to discharge.

But I was fully repaid for the trifle this affair had coft me, by the promises of Monet; who affured me that if I would take a trip to Paris, the next fummer, I fhould not only eclipfe the Du Menil and Gofin, but even captivate the Grand Monarque himfelf. Notwithstanding I loved Mr. Metham, with the trueft affection, and would have rejected being a fecond Maintenon for his

fake,

fake, yet the flattering profpect of holding a fovereign in my chains, and at the fame time nobly rejecting him, which I was fully determined to do, prefented fuch a train of pleafing Ideas to my mind, that I thought the expence which infured me fo much happinefs a mere bagatelle.

Mr. Metham having had a bad run at Scarborough, and the year our house in Kingflreet was taken for being elapsed, he wrote me word that he was no longer able to keep it on; and therefore defired I would quit it. He added, that as his father continued inflexible in his refolution of not fupporting his extravagance, his coming to town would be uncertain. He further informed me, that he had met Mr. Garrick upon a vifit at Lord Burlington's, who expreffed a very great opinion of my talents, and wished to have me of his company. From all these circumstances, he advised me to take a temporary lodging, till he and Major Burton, who was with him, could raife money to extricate themselves, and come to town; from whence the Major intended to follow Mifs St. Leger to the South of France.

I now, for the first time, began to think of pecuniary matters. I found myself greatly involved; and though from being under age, I had no apprehenfions for my liberty, yet, my fpirit was much hurt by being asked for money which I could not immediately