IN

LETTER XXXVII.

Auguft 15, 17-.

Na fhort time we went to York. Here Mr. Metham took an elegant houfe of Mr. Strickland. The reafon of this gentleman's leaving it was on account of his having juft loft his lady, and with her a good eitate. His affection not fuffering her to be waked during her illhefs, to fign fome deed which was neceffary, an eftate that belonged to her went away at her deceafe. This determined him to go abroad, to lament the lofs he had fuftained.

The garden wall of our new houfe joined to a monaftery; and the ground on which the house and garden ftood, had formerly belonged to it. This was a great object to me, and I foon found it a fource of great comfort. For though my lover's fondnefs was unabated, his numberlefs friends, and likewife his father, who lived forty miles from the city in which we refided, claimed fo much of his company that I had very little of it. Being a keen sportsman, he was alfo very intimate with Lord Downe. So that, except during the race week, I fcarcely faw any human being but the fervants.

I therefore esteemed myfelf exceedingly fortunate, in commencing an acquaintance with the chaplain of the adjacent feminary.

This

This gentleman I found to be an honour to the facerdotal function. For learning and good fenfe, there were very few who exceeded him. And he preferred the quiet of the retirement he was now fituated in, to any preferment he could attain in the bufy world. To his kind inftructions was I indebted for a return of those fentiments I had early imbibed in my loved cloister at Boulogne.-Sentiments replete with peace and fatisfaction.-Religion is the only rock on which the wearied restless mind can fafely anchor, amidst the impetuous billows of this fluctuating life.-If, now and then, the gentle breath of Zephyrus wafts us towards the wifhed-for fhore, the profperous gale is but fhort-lived, and foon dies away. The ruder and more lafting blafts of Boreas fucceed, and drive the un-manageable bark into all the dangers of the tempeftuous deep.

The ladies belonging to the feminary, at first objected to my vifits, as my character was doubtful; but when I informed Mr. Blunt, which was the name of the chaplain, that I had not the leaft doubt but that Mr. Metham's honour, which had never been queftioned, and his affection for me, would induce him to make me honourable amends for the difgraceful cloud in which he had for the prefent fhrouded me, I readily procured admittance among them. I could have added, that a more forcible inducement for the

per

performance of his promife, was about to take place, than even either of thefe; and that was the probability of my prefenting him with his picture in minature; an event that he expreffed the most earnest defire of feeing accomplished.

The acquaintanee I thus formed with this fociety, foon increased to a cordial intimacy. The ladies joined to an exemplary piety, a chearfulness which is always a fure attendant on innocence and virtue; and their company foon became a fource of happiness to me, which compenfated, in fome degree, for the long abfence of the man I loved. In fome degree, I fay; for though prudery and affectation may wish to throw a veil over our paffions, I muft candidly acknowledge, that to a foul diffolved by that sweet, and as yet unalloyed intercourse, that fervent love, which fubfifted between Metham and myself, every other enjoyment afforded but a fubftituted fatisfaction, and would not stand in competition with it.

Upon the terrace of our garden there remained a door which led into that of the convent. This door, with the confent of the community, I ordered to be opened; which procured me the happiness of two or three of the ladies company, attended by the old gentleman, (who, with the wisdom of age, ftill retained the good humour and sprightlinefs of youth) as often as a due attendance

to

to the concerns of my family would admit and whenever Mr. Metham's abfence rendered fome companions needful..

Thefe abfences now became more frequent than ufual; the Marquis of Rockingham, the Earls of Burlington and Scarborough, and Lord Downe, fharing his vifits by turns. Growfe fhooting claimed his attention in Autumn, and hunting in winter. So that during the feven months we refided in Trinity-lane, York, I may with fafety affirm, that he was not at home for feven weeks, put his returns all together. It is true, he wrote to me conftantly during his abfences, and his letters glowed with affection and fincerity; but I could not help at laft remarking, that they bordered too much on adulation.

I muft here, by way of relief to the rapid continuation of my tale, entertain you with a droll circumftance, which happened in the race week, and into which I was led by the remains of my natural vanity. A nobleman, who had a horfe to run for the plate at York races, was at our houfe for fome days. As his Lordship was intitled by his rank to the feat of honour, he of courfe, during dinner, fat at my right hand. But I could not help obferving, that his eye was conftantly and fteadily fixed upon me. I took little notice of it at first, thinking it was occafioned by the attractive power of my charms, and that good manners would in time induce his

Lordship

Lordship to behave with more decorum. Seeing, however, that my face was ftill the chief object to which his eye was directed, I grew much difconcerted and abashed. But having, at length, recovered from the little prudery I had contracted in Ireland, I complained to Mr. Metham of the rudeness of his friend. He could not avoid fmiling whilft I made my complaint; and, as a perfect acquittal of his Lordship from any defign to offend me, he informed me, that the eye which had been always fo fteadily fixed upon me, and excited my alarms, was only an innocent glass eye, and therefore could not cons vey any improper information; as it was immoveable all day, and refted at night very quietly upon the table. My vanity received a check by the incident, and I joined in the laugh which it had occafioned.

On the fixth of December I was taken fo ill, that the nurfe who had been fome time with me, declared it to be my labour. Mr. Metham was then at Ferry-bridge, but was immediately fent for. On his return, he infifted upon fending for a man-midwife; but this I would by no means agree to. My falfe modefty here vifited me a fecond time. And, as at first, it had prevented me from clearing up my reputation after being carried off by the Earl of fo now it had like to have coft me my life. apprehenfions arifing from

For the

my delicacy, prompted