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no, eleven

a new one

on. Thereafter we fought sympathetic “A greata game,” says the Italian as battles.

his station is called and he gets up, There is nothing in the world like it. carrying his paper with him, unabashed. “ Donahue dumped a Texas leaguer in the right. Dineen pushed a safe grounder

NO TIME FOR A WIFE in the same direction, and Schreck tried for third, but Ferris relayed Congalton's

MR. SPECTATOR, - I feel like beginthrow to Hemphill, and Donahue was ning in eighteenth-century fashion, for out. Dougherty rapped a hot one which the Contributors' Club is a kind of Hemphill was lucky to stop. Roke flied monthly Spectator where one can air his to Sullivan. Bill Sullivan drove through grievances as well as his whimseys, – Bach's legs, and Dineen scored, Pat go- what are we college people to do about ing to third. Sully stole second. Eber- matrimony? I am not, as one might posfield fanned. ONE RUN.”

sibly infer, complaining of the difficulImagine the hot sunny field. A drift ties of low finance; they have been aired of fat cigar smoke and with it the thick to dryness, and even a married instructor smell of peanuts. No wind; perfect base- can afford the less nutritive meats. It is ball weather. Nine men against one scholarship, German scholarship, that with a stick and a fast-chewing jaw. raises the particular bogey I am afraid of,

a Unglaub drove a long fly to the left and upon due consideration I believe bleachers for two bags.” Ten men on

that either German scholarship or the the field now

wedded life must go. Time was when with the stick. Look! The tenth man a servant of the muses, and even a is run — no! by Jove he — Go it! He teacher of literature, might sit in his can, and did. Sullivan laid down a library, pen in hand, books before him, fine sacrifice, Smith to Donahue, Un- some high criticism in his thoughts, and glaub sliding to third.” The bleachers with his wife cosily sewing in the rocker are standing now. A new man up — he

beside the desk, contrive to accomplish bats left-handed. He can swing! Read: that “outside work” to which his desire “Isbell played in close and Congalton and the hope of promotion urged him. bounced a single over his head, scoring But all such pleasant wanderings in the Unglaub!” As the headline put it, it meadows of literature have become no was a “timely one-sacker.” The game better than so many primrose paths to goes to the Americans.

the bonfire of reputation. Behold your Friend,

who read the market page

modern scholar where he sits, with the with its jargon of fractions and sudden Dictionary of National Biography, a whims, you who furrow the literary dozen German theses, two rows of source twaddle of book journals, or you, gentle books, a typewriter, and three drawers lady, to whose nimble tongue wool of notes. No room for a wife, no time batiste, challis, and pongee bishops and if room. berthas are emotions and volitions, But this is but a mild and somewhat think of me and my likes playing the facetious presentation of the real danger. game an hour late and twenty miles away, In our club (which is so academic that watching as if before us the twists and

you may pass an evening without hearturns and sudden emprises, the raps and ing Amalgamated mentioned more than wallops, miscues, pickups, and swift fans once) there are a good dozen of the fine of Nine against Nine on the levels of young men whom Stevenson describes Parnassus! For, “ Issy banged one on as ready in the cause of toil to be driven the ground which Mullins picked up and off in a hearse with white plumes on it. snapped to Wagner who covered the They are bachelors, living in affluence middle cushion” and

and complaint upon the same salaries

for sup

which our university provides for the don a horrid blank for the two weeks support of families, and snugly housed which is the least one can give to a wedin million-dollar dormitories, where they ding trip? And there is more accept three rooms and a bath from pose she should like dining out, or going the corporation, and stuff all but the to bed early, or talking on sacred weekbath with Oriental rugs, books, and good day evenings. Suppose, for the sake of pipe-tobacco. If one should stir up their the argument, that there were children, quarters as Burns's coulter ripped up who cried, were ill, romped over one's the mouse's cell, one wonders whether card catalogue. Obviously it can't be they would run to cover in domestic life. done. For mark you, it is work that But it is German scholarship which is counts, hours as much as thoughts, the real difficulty. We sit (or sat when routine more than ideas. I was a bachelor) at the round table, As I come home from late recitations sipping coffee and smoking. Talk goes I stem a vast current of grimy men and cheerfully. You would think us all free women hurrying through the early men. Is the day's work done? If it had darkness toward a lodging for the night; been mere teaching, mere thinking, yes, and when some late-left preparation all but the fine flower of it. But schol- for an early lecture calls me up before arship — Smith there is studying the the first dawn, I hear their footsteps, modal clause in Old Norse. He has his hurrying, hurrying back again to their twenty pages to analyze before bedtime, work. They are the handlers of machines, and off he slinks with that careworn the superintendent once told me. The expression which means work first, then

cogs work just so fast, the good workfame, and then happiness. Peterkin is man can feed their maw just so many reading through all Old French in the strips of steel or brass each hour. A A search for anything unnoted to be found shorter day, a smaller output. Brains there, traces of Celtic or plant names beyond the requisite amount make no by choice. So off he trots with a memo- odds, it is the time which counts. Well, randum of where he stopped on his hat so it is with modern scholarship, and check. Jamison is in the middle of a so with all these fine young bachelor story when the hall boy whispers, “Tele- friends of mine. Sometimes I have wonphone.” We hear him in the booth, his dered hopefully whether after all it is jolly after-dinner voice hardening into not a game of blind-man's-buff played that “can't you understand that I must with your own eyes and handkerchief; work” tone we know so well, as he re- whether Hymen does not have a case fuses an invitation to meet somebody's against those rooms “full benely stuffit,” sister. And the worst of it is that it can't that good club of ours with its comfortbe helped. Here is the terrible cul-de-sac, able servants, its meals that come withhere is the immovable body stopping out ordering, its deep-bottomed chairs short what used to be considered an where a man may digest without wonirresistible force. How can these men dering whether the furnace is going out, be famous and married ? Will 100,000 the maid rioting with the gas-stove, or lines of Old Norse, with a scant year's the snow deepening on the pavement. start of some German at the same job, But the reflection is needless. Scholarpermit of any other mistress ? Or fifty ship is a Turk who bides no brother analogues to the seventh tale of the near the throne, though sadly unlike Nugis Curialium, which cry to be made one in the matter of wives. If we are a hundred by a search through all narra- to labor in the German cause, where tive, give leisure for courting, palliate unsufficient to the day must always be the upset nervous system which is sure the hours thereof, if we are to complete to follow a marriage ceremony, or par

all essential and unessential knowledge,



we must give up matrimony. To be free to confess their ignorance; and no sure I am married myself. But then I doubt the thing would have been done never cared for club life — and I do not and have led to something, had not his believe in the preëminent excellence of wife suddenly come back, and put a stop German scholarship.

to the whole proceeding. Afterwards, when we met, neither of us had the heart

to broach the matter. THERE IS NO PLACE EXACTLY

I cannot but believe, however, that LIKE HOME

there is something in the idea. I plume I am one of those unfortunate persons myself on the thougbt that there must who have no eye for color. Indeed, I be others as dull and ignorant as myself, have never been able to understand in poor, tired, overworked creatures, who any way the particular merits or demerits have no other thought of home than an of what is known among experts as a easy chair, a kindly light over one's “color scheme.” Neither have I the shoulder, a pipe that draws well, and remotest conception of form. The shape a book within easy reach. of an object is all one to me, so long as it To these few I dare assert my views, does not render me physically uncom- in a sort of typographical whisper, telling fortable.

them to take heart of hope, and that if This, I am fully aware, - in view of at present our forces are scattered, at any the present renaissance of home decora- moment a change may come and we may tion, is a confession of appalling weak- be able to present a determined front. ness. And yet I am even prepared to go When it comes to a good and a bad still further and assert that the quality mantelpiece, one is (in my humble opinof woods, the disposition of furniture, ion) about as bad as the other. So of the arrangement of bric-a-brac, and the color schemes and other arrangements. historical spirit of the collector, are en- The truth is that any decoration is bad, tirely outside of my ken. I have often and as hopeless as the word implies. amused myself, in glancing over the The average house, indeed, is made to “ Home ” magazines, where the “ good play the part of the fool. Built originally mantelpiece ” and the “bad mantel- with but one object, - as a shelter, - it is piece" are printed side by side, by cover- now tricked out with all sorts of horrible ing up the type and endeavoring to select devices. Its walls are decked with brass the one I liked the better, and I have ornaments and blotches of color called invariably hit upon the bad one. oil paintings. Its windows are covered

Indeed, as long as I am confessing, with filmy curtains that keep out the I may as well make a clean sweep of the light and air.. Glaring china closets whole matter, and own up that I am for vulgarly displaying rows of cut glass, usefulness — and that awful, reprehens- antique sideboards (“ made in Michible thing: solid comfort.

igan”), and stiff-back chairs, all help to In a spirit of reckless bravado and add to its secret sense of shame. abandon, I once confided this to a mar- For there are few homes, if they could ried friend, at a moment when his wife but look at themselves in the mirror of was away and we were quite safe; and Nature, but would blush to their roofs greatly to my surprise (after he had with mortification. Indeed locked the door, and peeped through the But I cannot add more, as I have just blinds to see that no one was listening) received a message that it is housecleanhe declared that he was in the same ing time, and I must hurry home, rehang state with me. He proposed to me that pictures, beat the carpets, move all the we form a sort of secret organization, furniture from one room into another, in which all the members should feel and oil up the Chippendales.

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MAY, 1908




I do not intend to cast reflections

upon the good faith or the patriotism of To him who takes his politics seriously, these members of the other party; for and has perhaps attained his own polit- the ranks of the Democrats are recruited ical belief through many an hour of anx- for the most part in just the same way. ious reflection, and many a prayer for in- Inheritance, environment, heeding the ward light which would guide to righteous arguments of only one side, will account judgment, the cheerful inability of other for most of them also. If the Democratic men to know why they belong to one party is somewhat short of time-servers it party rather than another is very perplex- is only because its success of recent years ing; to him it seems incredible that any has not been so marked as to attract reasoning human being should be content them. In their view, society in the Demoto go through the world with his political cratic party is getting to be rather like faith resting on such shaky foundations. the Presbyterian elder's idea of Heaven,

Most men seem to receive their politics very select but by no means amusing; meekly, through inheritance or environ- and they would naturally prefer the more ment. (That is also, we are told, the way numerous society of the other place. children become criminals.) Most of the But if the people who dislike to discuss Republicans whom we know belong to politics or religion are irritating, what can that party primarily because their fa- be said of those who profess to see no real thers were Republicans before them,- choice between parties? “Oh! I can't either fighting in the Civil War, or per- see any difference,” laughs a genial genhaps from a safe distance cheering on tleman, “they both want to get in when those who did; secondarily, because as they're out, you know; and to keep the youths they have "tagged on " after the other fellows out when they're in.” And quadrennial torchlight procession, cheer- with a chuckle the speaker dismisses the ing for Blaine, Harrison, McKinley, or subject as though he had solved the eterRoosevelt; or thirdly, because they have nal mystery of politics with an original absorbed the arguments advanced by idea; the truth being that he has got no their own party orators and newspapers, farther in political thought than a vague carefully avoiding all others. Then there remembrance of an annotated edition of is a considerable number of those who Gulliver's Travels. are simply turned by the tide; like some Considering, then, the prevalence of acquaintances of mine who were formerly these two classes, it may be well, before Democrats, but who, moving into a com- attempting to ask a question as to the munity where the other party was fash- future of the Democratic party, to find ionable and dominant, and finding that out whether there is in reality any such most political favors and preferment were thing as a Democratic party existing in to be gained in that camp, saw the errors the present. If men assume a party badge of their former ways and were converted. by reason of inheritance or environment, VOL. 101 - NO. 5

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and if there is really no difference be reaching its most brilliant and complete tween the two great parties, then it be- development in the dominion of Rome; comes a wholly useless thing to bother but even as Rome attained the zenith of our heads about the future of either. her power, the system, so long and pain

fully built up, began to fall to pieces. Rome had conquered all the material

forces of the known world; but the freeIt seems a trifle fantastic perhaps, when dom of the intellect proclaimed in Greece, faced by such a seemingly simple ques- the freedom of conscience proclaimed in tion, to suggest going back to the very Judæa, were forces against which the imdawn of history; yet the nature and place perial legions were powerless. The Greek of political parties in this Republic, as philosopher could be silenced, but Plato well as the nature and place of this and Aristotle were immortal in their Republic in the world's affairs, are so writings; the Hebrew prophet could be frequently misunderstood that the sug- slain, but the Golden Rule could never gestion is not by any means amiss. To again be driven from the hearts, nor siunderstand the Democratic party one lenced from the tongues of men. Impemust understand Democracy; and to rialism -- the rule of the strong over the understand Democracy one must under- weak, of the master over the slave --stand what produced it and developed could not stand the test; the intellect the need of such a “great experiment” rebelled, the soul revolted; the human as ours, what it was brought into the relations involved in slavery were conworld to replace.

trary to the laws of nature, which are the There are many ways of looking at laws of God. And with a mighty crash history; among them is that view which

which shook the whole world loose from sees always the struggle of the inextin- its moorings, the first great political exguishable spirit of liberty against in- periment — the first great organized systrenched privilege, — the ever-renewed tem of human society - collapsed, and conflict of individual freedom with or- confusion reigned again. ganized selfishness.

Then, after more long centuries of This was the vision of past ages which travail, was slowly developed a second inspired Lowell :

great experiment, – feudalism. Loath Truth forever on the scaffold. Wrong forever

to give up the essence of slavery, the on the throne

domination of man by man, but forced Yet that scaffold sways the future; and be- to recognize the responsibility of man to hind the dim unknown

man, feudalism rested upon a new relaStandeth God within the shadow, keeping tion that of lord and vassal. Imwatch above his own.

perialism had left God out of account; In the beginning the effort to secure the new system should satisfy both God some concrete system of human society and man. What was regarded as man's

a necessity for man assumes the dual nature was to be guided by two character of a mere trial of brute strength; co-existent powers, the Church and the the stronger man wins and the weaker is State; and each of these was an elaborate enslaved. Thus the oldest political rela- social pyramid: in one reaching from tion of mankind --of master and slave the lower ranks of the priesthood up was developed; and based upon this rela- through the higher clergy to the Pope, tion arose the first great organized system and in the other from the serf up through of human government, – imperialism. knight and baron to King and Emperor. Under various names, with much crude- Each highest sovereign, Pope and Emness of experiment and many complica- peror, should be lord paramount over tions, this system was many centuries in half of each atom of humanity.

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