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Sir J. No! since I've fairly mounted fortune's mast, Till fate shall chop my hands off, I'll hold fast.
Pet. And yet, Sir Joseph, fame reports you stole
Sir J. Blockheads! for whom I do not care a button,
Sir J. Since truth must out, then know, my biting friend, Philosophers my soul with horror rend;
Whene'er their mouths are opened, I am mum-
I loath the arts-the universe may know it—
I hate a painter, and I hate a poet.
Pet. In troth, Sir Joseph, I have often seen ye Look in debate a little like a ninny,
Struggling to grasp the sense with mouth, hands, eyes,
And with the philosophic speaker rise;
Just like a spider, brushed by Susan's broom,
That tries to claw its thread, and mount the room,
Condemn'd to sneak away behind a chair.
Sir J. Still to the point-a rout let fellows make;
My power is too well fix'd for such a shake;
My sure artillery hath o'ercome a host.
Pet. I own the great past powers of tea and toast! Ven'son's a Cæsar in the fiercest fray;
Turtle an Alexander in its way;
And then, in quarrels of a slighter nature,
Sir J. Come, tell me fairly without more delay,
What 'tis the tattling world hath dar'd to say.
Pet. Thus, then,How dares that man his carcass squat,
Bold in the sacred chair where Newton sat;
Whose eye could Nature's darkest veil pervade,
And, sun-like, view the solitary maid;
Pursue the wand'rer through each secret maze,
His words like stones for pavements, make us start;
And think that words, like drums, were made for noise.'
Sir J. In truth, I think it hath not minc'd the matter. Yet, by all that's strange, good Peter, know,
I'm honour'd, star'd at wheresoe'r 1 go!
Soon as a room I enter, lo, all ranks,
Get up to compliment Sir Joseph Banks!
Pet. And then sit down again, I do suppose ; And then around the room a whisper goes,
Lord, that's Sir Joseph Banks!-how grand his look, Who sail'd all round the world with Captain Cook !'
Sir J. Zounds! what the devil's fame if this be not? Pet. Sir Joseph, prithee, don't be such a sot— Those wonderful admirers, man, were dozens Of fresh imported, staring country cousins; To London come, the waxwork to devour, And see their brother beasts within the Tow'r : True fame is praise by men of wisdom giv'n, Whose souls display some workmanship of Heav'n ; Not by the wooden million-Nature's chips, Whose twilight souls are ever in eclipse; Puppies! who though on idiotism's dark brink, Because they've heads, dare fancy they can think! Sir J. What though unlettered, I can lead the herd, And laugh at half the members to their beard. Frequent to court I go, and 'midst the ring,
I catch most gracious whispers from the king
Pet. And well, I think, I hear each precious speech, In sentiment sublime, and language rich;
'What's new, Sir Joseph? what, what's new found out? What's the society, what, what about?
Any more monsters, lizard, monkey, rat,
Egg, weed, mouse, butterfly, pig, what, what, what?'
That many a sighing heart with envy stings;
Yet if the greater part of members growl,
Though owls themselves, and curse you for an owl;
Pet. Zounds! sir, the great ones to my whistle come ;
Pet. To hunt for days a lizard or a gnat,
As gives a man a claim to Newton's seat.
Sir J. Yet are there men of genius who support me, Proud of my friendship, see Sir William court me!
Pet. Sir William, hand and glove with Naples' king! Who made with rare antiques the nation ring ; Who when Vesuvius foamed with melted matter, March'd up and clapp'd his nose into the crater, Just with the same sang froid that Joan, the cook, Casts on her dumplings, in the pot, a look.
Sir J. Lo, at my call the noble Marlb'rough's vote,
Pray, then, what think ye of our famous Daines?
Sir J. Zounds! 'tis in vain, I see to utter praise !Pet. Then mention some one who deserves my lays. Sir J. Know then, I've sent to distant parts to find Beings the most uncommon of their kind:
The greatest monsters of the land and water
Pet. The beautiful deformities of nature!
Rare is each crack'd, black, rotten, earthen dish,
As did Sir Ashton fam'd, whose mental pow'r
Sir J. Poh! poh! don't laugh-such things are rich and
Be something sacred-let not all be farce.
Pet. Sir Joseph, I must laugh when things like these Beyond sublimities have pow'r to please: To crowd with such-like littleness your walls, Is putting Master Punch into St. Paul's. Yet to the point-the place on which you dote Hath been for ever carried by the voteKnow then, your parasites begin to bellow: And call you openly a shallow fellow; In vain to fav'ring majesty you fly,
'Tis on the many that you must rely :
E'en blockheads blush, so much are they asham'd—
And daring thus their insolences mutter !
Pet. In short, your gormandizers and your drinkers
Quit their old faith and turn out rank freethinkers.
And truth no longer sacrificed to paunches:
I see you through the streets of London go,
Sir Joseph, pray don't eat an alligatorGo swallow something of a softer nature;
Feast on the arts and sciences, and learn
With shells, and flies, and daises covered o'er,
DR. JOHNSON-mr. gibbon.....Sir Joshua Reynolds.
Johnson. No, Sir; Garrick's fame was prodigious, not only in England, but all over Europe; even in Russia, I have been told, he was a proverb. When any one had repeated well, he was called a second Garrick.
Gibbon. I think he had full as much reputation as he deserved.
J. I do not pretend to know, Sir, what your meaning may be, by saying he had as much reputation as he deserv ed. He deserved much, and he had much.
G. Why surely, Dr. Johnson, his merit was in small things only. He had none of those qualities that make a real great man.
J. Sir, I as little understand what your meaning may be, when you speak of the qualities that make a great man. It is a vague term. Garrick was no common man. A man above the common size may surely, without any great impropriety, be called a great man. No, Sir; it is undoubtedly true, that the same qualities united with virtue or vice, make a hero or a rogue; a great general or a highwayman. Now Garrick, we are sure, was never hanged, and in regard to his being a great man, you must take the whole man together. It must be considered in how many things Garrick excelled, in which every man desires to excel. ting aside his excellence as an actor, in which he is acknowledged to be unrivalled, as a man, as a poet, as a convivial companion, you will find but few his equals, none his superior. As a man he was kind, friendly, benevolent, and generous.
G. Of Garrick's generosity I never heard. I understood his character to be totally the reverse, and that he was reckoned to have loved money.