after that, while the General was busy at and throw that cursed sand-hill into the his head-quarters, a pompous gentleman sea, sir. You may tell your government walked in, apparently in great haste, and that, sir. I would shovel it to the sea, inquired if he was General Sherman? sir; and then I would pay for it, sir,—if Having received an affirmative reply, the necessary. Good day, sir."

pompous gentleman remarked:

"Well, sir, when I left my residence, United States troops were engaged in removing my cotton from it, notwithstanding its protection by the British flag."

"Stop, sir!" said General Sherman; "not your cotton, but my cotton; my cotton, in the name of the United States government, sir. I have noticed a great many British flags here, all protecting cotton; I have seized it all in the name of my government."

"But, sir," said the Consul, indignantly, "there is scarcely any cotton in Savannah that does not belong to me."

"There is not a pound of cotton here, sir, that does not belong to me, for the United States," responded Sherman.

It is needless to say that General Sherman was not again troubled with the official representative of her Majesty's government,-whose mind became confused in the crash of such nouns-substantive as cotton, arms, picks, shovels, sand-hills and the like.

Shultz's Timely Discovery

An honest Schuylkill county German merchant, who had been prospered comewhat beyond the average, and had accumulated more money than he could employ as capital in his business, went to a patriotic banker in Philadelphia, and said:

"I have got some moneys, and I want you to buy me some gold."

"Why, Shultz! what do you want gold for? That isn't a thing you sell in your

“Well, sir,” said the Consul, swelling himself up with the dignity of his office store." and reddening in his face, "my government shall hear of this. I shall report your conduct to my government, sir."

"Ah! pray, who are you, sir?" said the general.

"Consul to her British Majesty, sir." "Oh! indeed!" responded the General. "I hope you will report me to your gov.ernment. You will please say to your government, for me, that I have been fighting the English government all the way from the Ohio river to Vicksburg, and thence to this point. At every step I have encountered British arms, British munitions of war, and British goods of all descriptions-yes, at every step, sir. I have met them in all shapes, sir; and now, sir, I find you claiming all the cotton sir. I intend to call upon my government to order me to Nassau at once."

"What do you propose to do there," asked the Consul, somewhat taken aback. "I would,” replied the General, "take with me a quantity of picks and shovels,

"I knows that; but I want to make some money on de rise of gold. Beoples say it is going up, and I tink I may make a tousand dollars."

66

Shultz, you dear old fellow, don't you know that if you buy gold you will be a rebel?"

"N-o!" said Shultz, with a tone of resentment in his wonder.

"Suppose you buy ten thousand dollars of gold; suppose that same morning you read in the papers, in big letters—“Terrible disaster to the Union cause! Grant's army routed and destroyed!! The rebels marching on Washington!!!'”

"I should say dat was tam pad news,” excitedly interrupted the German.

"Yes, but wouldn't you say right off, 'dis, however, will put gold up-pad for the Union cause, tam pad, but it is goot for my ten thousand!' Don't you see Shultz, that in buying gold you instantly make the interests of the rebels your interests-that you bribe yourself to wish them

to succeed, and to wish your country and | Middleton it was discovered by the Mayour countrymen to fail? And if these jor that he was too late to intercept the unholy desires, Shultz, don't define you marauders, and he consequently ordered a rebel, there is no language to define one. Don't you see that buying gold inevitably turns honest, patriotic, devoted men like you, away from the cause which they ought to support, and which they think they do support, because they have made it for their interest not to support it? Don't you see it, my dear fellow?"

"Be shure I do," said the honest man, with gravity of manner and a humility in keeping with the discovery he had made; and I ax pardon of the war. Put de whole of dat in Seven-Thirties. My money goes mit my principles." Honest

soul!

Saddling to Suit the Route.

While the Sixth New Hampshire regiment was stationed at Russellville, in southwestern Kentucky, the inhabitants of the surrounding country were frequently annoyed by the incursions of guerrilla bands from Tennessee. News coming in one morning that a band of these outlaws had plundered one of the neighboring villages, Lieutenant-Colonel P., the active

the horses unsaddled and fed. Now, the Major's hostler was a son of the Emerald Isle, entirely ignorant of everything pertaining to the equestrian art, and, coming in from half an hour's scout through the village, in a state closely bordering on intoxication, he put the Major's saddle on facing to the rear. When the horses were brought up for a fresh start, the Major, instantly discovering the mistake, demanded with a wondering scowl why the saddle was put on in that manner.

"An' shure," said Pat, a little terrified, "an' shure, Major, an' I didn't know which way you was going!"

An explosion followed-the Major was abundantly satisfied-and Pat escaped without further rebuke.

Moderate Ideas of a Competency. While Mr. Lincoln was visiting New York city, some time previous to the assembling of the presidential Republican nominating convention at Chicago, he met in one of the business establishments in New York, an Illinois acquaintance of for

mer years, to whom he
said in his dry and
good-natured way:
"Well, B., how have
you fared since you
left Illinois?"

"I have made," replied B., "one hundred thousand dollars and lost all; how is it with you, Mr. Lincoln?"

"Oh, very well; I have the cottage at Springfield, and about eight thousand dollars in money. If they

and efficient commander, immediately dis- make me Vice-President with Seward, as patched a small detachment of the regi- some say they will, I hope I shall be able ment, commanded by Major Q., in pursuit to increase it to twenty thousand, and that of them. On arriving at the village of is as much as any man ought to want."

Brandy for all Hands.

Official Likeness of President Lincoln.

posed for sale, he seemed as valiant as When Stuart made his famous cavalry Ajax. The rest of the company were raid around McClellan's lines before Rich- dressed too finely to shake hands with the mond, the appointed rendezvous of the dusty strangers, so smoked and talked Confederate troops was not far from New apart, in dignified reserve. Hearing the Kent Court-House, at a small village approach of a squadron, the cavalry troopwhere several main roads joined. The ers went to the door, and the landlord prefirst party that arrived found that the pared bottles and glasses for his expected place contained several finely furnished visitors. "Are these coming some of your suttlers' stores, and depots of goods depos- party, gentlemen?" "Yes," was the reited thus far in the rear of the army, to ply, "and as 'tis no use fooling any more, be conveyed up to the front as circum- we are Stuart's cavalry." All present stances demanded. They were, in fact, were struck dumb with astonishment, but central or wholesale Union establishments, were soon disarmed and made prisoners. to furnish regimental sutlers, stocked with everything that could be required, having tasteful bar-rooms attached, in which were Just before Mr. Lincoln was put forsold champagne, and all sorts of expensive ward as a candidate for the presidency, a wines and liquors. The fatigued and friend fell into conversation with him upon dusty men hitched their horses and entered, the photographs of his face then before without ceremony, but were so unprepos- the public, and a regret was expressed to sessing and unpresentable, that all present him that none had been found that did rose, including several field officers who him justice. He laughingly suggested had trotted to the rear "to spend the day" that it might not be desirable to have convivially. "Brandy, gentlemen!" in- "justice" done to such forbidding features quired the fat proprietor, urbanely-" cer- as his, but added that a likeness taken in tainly!" and presenting decanters, the Springfield a few days before was, in his new comers began to imbibe freely. judgment, and that of his friends, the best "Might I inquire to what cavalry you be- ever had. Of that his friend procured long, gentlemen?" asked the proprietor, four copies, and subsequently asked Mr. acutely surveying their dusty figures, from Lincoln to append to each his autograph head to foot. "We?" answered one, lay- and the date, which he did with apparent ing his violent hands on a box of Havan- pleasure, calling for a pen and ink, and nas, and emptying the decanter, "oh! we writing upon his knee. Of these pictures, are Maryland cavalry, just arrived; a new which were the first taken after he had regiment raised in Baltimore, just returned allowed his beard to grow, and the first to on a scouting party after the rebel Stuart!" give those that had not seen him a belief "Stuart, eh? You don't mean to say that that he was not "horrid ugly," three were he is in our lines; do you? Well, let him distributed to friends, and from one of come, that's all, and, although I'm not in them the head of Mr. Lincoln upon the the army, I'll show him a thing or two; ten dollar Treasury Note was engravedjust see if I don't!" And as his eye which may be called the official likeness glanced over a fine case of revolvers ex-of the Western President.