"Yes, massa, he took 'em all: what he that they are, or soon will be, free. But go to Texas for?" let them be made to believe that the

"I suppose he went to keep out of the United States government intends to break way of the Yankees."

the solemn promise which it made to them on the first of last January—let them once understand that their anticipations of freedom are not to be realized in the manner which they expected-and they will make a second San Domingo of every Southern State."

"Your ideas agree pretty well with those of the Abolitionists of New Eng

land."

"I can't help that," said the secessionist; "I hate an Abolitionist worse than I ever hated a snake, but I believe just what I say, and if the Abolition

These words had no sooner left "massa's" mouth than a singular change seemed to come over Joe. Before their utterance he was altogether undemonstrative in his manner; but when he caught their full meaning, his countenance evinced pleasure and surprise in about equal proportions. In a moment he began to laugh, but checked himself suddenly, and said: "Could'nt help laughin', massa. My missus tole me de Yankees could'nt git Memphis; but dey're dere now. Den she said dere was'nt enough of 'em lef' to come furder down de riber; but dey went ists where you came from agree with me, all de way down. Den missus say dey I am not to blame.” can't come up de White, no how; but dey DID come-and dey went to de Rock (Little Rock), an' dey stayed dar; an' I jes' b'lieve dey mean to stay eberywhar; an' before massa Roberts sees anoder buffalo gnat dey'll be all ober Texas, an' he won't hab enough niggas lef' to drive de cow home."

Discussion between Major Downing and Mr.
Linkin.

In a letter from the Federal capital, by Major Jack Downing, to the Editors of the Cawcashin, the Major thus delivers himself in regard to the great question growing out of the war. The Major says, and even those who venture to differ from his weighty opinions, rarely fail to be interested in his expression of them:

The italicised part of Joe's brief oration was spoken with deep emphasis, and the effect of the words was greatly increased by the appropriate gestures which accompanied them. He did not wait for any mark of approval or censure, but made his adieus rather hurriedly. "That's a pretty sharp darkie, I should approach of hot weather. But the great say," remarked Union.

"He is that," was the reply; "he's got any quantity of hard sense; and he's a right good fellow, too-I never heard anything bad of him.”

SURS-I've been kinder sick sence writ you last. The truth is, this clymate in the spring is raely very weaknin to the constitushin. Linkin, too, has been terribully anxus about war noose, and the nigh

subjeck which the Kernel and I have been considerin, is the "contrybands." What is to be done with 'em? That's the questshin, and Linkin ses he would like to see the feller that can tell him. One night "In case the war were brought to a Linkin got a big map, an he sot down, and close on condition that the rebellious States "Now," ses he, " Major, let's take a look should send Senators and Representatives at all creashin, an see ef ther aint sum to Congress, and the Emancipation Pro- place whar we kin send these pesky kinky clamation were withdrawn, would it be a heds, and get rid of 'em." “Wal,” ses I, possible thing to keep the slaves under" Kernel, I'm agreed." So we went at the same subjection as before the begin- it. First Linkin put his finger on Haty. ning of the war?" "Now," ses he, "ther's an iland that jest Certainly not. The slaves understand suits the nigger constitushin. Suppose

66

66

they go ther?" "But," ses I, "Kernel, | I, "sum States won't have 'em at all, and they won't go, an ef they did, they wouldn't they can't go ther. So what's to be done?" do nothin." "Wal," ses he, "no matter," Wal," ses Linkin, "I tell you what it is, ef they won't trouble us here enny longer." Major, this is an almighty tuff subjeck. I "But," ses I, "ther's one more resin. know sumthin about splittin rails, and The iland aint large enuff to hold all the what hard work is ginerally, but this nigger niggers-four millions or thereabouts." questshin has puzzled me more than enny “Wal,” ses he, “ther's Centril Ameriky- thing ever got hold of before." "Wal," what do you think of that spot?" "Wal," ses I, Kernel, I can explain the reason ses I," Kernel, that's a fine country, nater- why." "Wal," ses I," Kernel, whar do ally. The Creator fixed it up on a grand you kerry your pocket book?" Ses he, scale, but you can't make a treaty with it, "What on arth has that to do with the enny more than you can count the spots subjeck?" Ses I, "Hold on, you'll see." on a little pig, when he keeps runin about "Wal," ses he, "I always kerry it right the hull time. The truth is, you can't tell ther, in my left hand trowsers pocket." who'll be President of it from one mornin Ses I, "Didn't you ever hev a hole in to the next, and the niggers you send ther that pocket for a day or two, an hev to might all get their throats cut jest as soon put your pocket book in sum other?" as they landed." "Wal," ses Linkin, he, "Major, I hev." "that's a slight objectshin. But let's turn you do with it then?" over to Afriky. Ther's would that do, Major?"

66

Ses

Ses I, "What did "Wal," ses he, "I

Libery; how put it in my right hand pocket, but it 'Wal," ses I, kinder chafed my leg ther cause it warn't “Kernel, that country is about the biggest used to it, an it also felt mity onhandy. humbug of the hull lot. Fust off, sum So I put it in my side coat pocket, but raely good peopul thought after it was goin every time I stooped over it would drop to amount to sumthin, but arter forty years out. Then I put it in my coat tail pocket, of spendin money on it, ther aint enny but I was kept all the time on the qui more chanst of civilizin Afriky in that way vivers, afeerd sum pickpocket would stead than ther is of makin a rifled cannon out it. At last, in order to make it safe an of a bass wood log. A few dominys, who sure, I put it in the top of my hat, under can't get enny boddy willin to hear 'em sum papers, but the hat was top heavy, an preach, hev got hold of it, an are makin a over it went spillin everything. I tell you good thing out of it. As for sendin our I was glad when my pocket was fixed, an niggers ther, why, it would take all the I got it back in the old spot." shippin of the world, and more money than Chase could print by steam in a year." "Wal,” ses Linkin, "whar on arth kin we send 'em?"

"Now," ses I, "Kernel, that's jest the case with the niggers. The minit you get 'em out of ther place, you don't know what on arth to do with 'em. Now, we've been here all the evenin sarchin over the map to see ef we can't find sum place to put 'em. But it is all no manner of use. You've got to do with 'em jest as you did with your pocket book. Put 'em whar they belong, an then you won't have enny more trubbil.”

"Now," ses I, "Kernel, I've got an idee of my own about that matter. I think they are best off whar they are an jest as they are, but ef you must get rid of 'em, I would send 'em all to Massa-chews-its! Peopul who are so anxus to hev other folks overrun with free niggers, ought to be willin to share sum of the blessins them- Linkin didn't see eggzactly how I was selves. So let all that are here in Wash- gwin to apply the story, an wen he did, he ington be sent rite off to Boston." "Yes, looked kinder struck up. Wen I saw that that might do," says Linkin. "But," ses I had made a hit on him, I follered it up.

Bad for the Cow.

Ses I," Kernel, this government ain't out of order, as Seward and Chase kontend. In the following little story, which is They are only tryin to run it the rong way certainly unique in its way, it will not -that's what makes all the trubbil. I require a great stretch of imagination to once had a thrashin machine, an I sold it consider the Federal Government as rep to old Jim Dumbutter, an arter he got it resenting the locomotive, and the seceding he sed it warn't good for nothin-that it States the cow: wouldn't run, &c. So I went over to see When George Stephenson, the celeit, an I vow ef he didn't hev the machine brated Scotch engineer, had completed his all rong eend foremist. I went to work model of a locomotive, he presented himat it, an, arter a little wile, it went off like self before the British parliament, and grease, jest as slick as a whistle. You asked the attention and support of that see, old Dumbutter didn't understand the body. The grave M. P.'s, looking sneermachine, an, tharfore, he couldn't make it go. ingly at the great mechanic's invention, Now," ses I," Kernel, our Constitushin is asked, a Dimmycratic machine, and its got to be fun as a Dimmycratic machine, or it won't run at all! Now, you see, Seward is tryin to run it on his 'higher law' principle, but it warn't made for that, an the consekence is, the thing is pretty nigh smashed up."

"So you have made a carriage to run only by steam, have you?" "Yes, my lords."

"And you expect your carriage to run on parallel rails, so that it can't go off, do you?"

66

Yes, my lords."

"Wal," ses Linkin, "things do look kinder dark. I don't know whar we will "Well now, Mr. Stephenson, let us show cum out, but I guess I'll issoo a proclama- you how absurd your claim is. Suppose shin for the ministers to pray for us. when your carriage is running upon these Perhaps they will do sum good." Ses rails at the rate of twenty or thirty miles I," Kernel, that reminds me of old Elder per hour, if you're extravagant enough to Doolittle, who cum along the road one even suppose such a thing is possible, a day rite whar old Sol Hopkins, a very cow should get in its way. You can't wicked old sinner, was hoein corn. The turn out for her-what then?"

season was late, and the corn was mity slim. Ses the Elder: 'Mister Hopkins, your corn is not very forrard this year.' No, its monstrous poor,' ses Hopkins, 'an I guess I shan't have half a crop.' 'Wal,' ses the Elder, 'Mister Hopkins, you ought to pray to the Lord for good crops, perhaps he will hear you.' 'Wal, perhaps he will, and perhaps he won't,' ses old Sol, 'but I'll be darned ef I don't believe that this corn needs manure a tarnel sight more than it does prayin for.' Now," ses I, “Linkin, I think this country is something like old Hopkinses corn. It needs statesmanship good deal more than prayin for." Linkin didn't seem to like that observation of mine much, for he turned the subjeck, an he ain't axed me what it was best to do with the nigger sence.

"Then 'twill be bad for the cow, my lords!"

Advised to Stick to his Business,

If, through a multitude of counsellors there is safety, President Lincoln may be said never to have run any great risk of not carrying the ship of state securely through all its perils. Their number in his case was always legion. Among these, in the early part of the war, was a Western farmer, who sought the President day after day, until at last he procured the much desired special audience. Like many other visitors at the executive mansion, he, too, had a plan for the successful prosecution of the war, to which Mr. Lincoln listined as patiently as he could. When he

was through, he asked the opinion of the North and South shall be so united that President upon his plan. the North may be able to pay them without confusion.

"Well," said Mr. Lincoln, "I'll answer by telling you a story. You have heard "An election for a new President shall of Mr. Blank, of Chicago? He was an at once be held, everybody voting save immense loafer in his way-in fact, never those who have shown animosity to the did anything in his life. One day he got sunny South. France shall be driven out crazy over a great rise in the price of of Mexico by the consolidated armies, the wheat, upon which many speculators gained expense being so managed that the North large fortunes. Blank started off one may pay it without further trouble. Upor morning to one of the most successful of these terms the Confederacy will become the speculators, and with much enthusiasm a peaceful fellow man." laid before him a plan by which he, the said Blank, was certain of becoming independently rich. When he had finished, he asked the opinion of his hearer upon his plan of operations. The reply came as follows: My advice is that you stick to your business! But,' asked Blank, 'what is my business?" I don't know what it is,' said the merchant, but, whatever it is, I advise you to stick to it.' And now," said Mr. Lincoln, "I mean nothing offensive, for I know you mean well, but I think you had better stick to your business, and leave the war to those who have the responsibility of managing it."

Fernando Wood.

"Hem!" says the Kentucky chap. "What you ask is perfectly reasonable, I will consider the matter after the manner of a dispassionate democrat, and return you my answer in a few days."

Burlesque on Peace Propositions. Concerning a certain peace proposition then on the tapis at Washington, Mr. Kerr -his prenomen Orpheus C.,-thus discourseth :The Confederacy hastily put on a pair "But are you not going to consult the President at all about it, my Jupiter

of white cotton gloves, and says he:
"Am I addressing the Democratic Or- Tonans?"
ganization?"

"The President? the President?" says

"You address the large Kentucky the Conservative Kentucky chap, with a vague look-"Hem!" says he, "I really forgot all about the President."

branch," says the Conservative chap, pulling out his ruffles.

"Then," says the Confederacy, "I am "The democratic organization," (adds prepared to make an indirect proposition Kerr, with said prenomen,) "my boy, in for peace. My name is Mr. Lamb, by its zeal to benefit its distracted country, is which title the democratic organization has occasionally like that eminent fire company always known the injured Confederacy, and in the Sixth Ward, which nobly usurped I propose the following terms: Hostilities with its hose the terrible business of putshall at once cease, and the two armies be ting out a large conflagration, and never consolidated under the title of the Confed-remembered until its beautiful machine erate State forces. The war debts of the was all in position, that another company

Ohio Toll-gate Keeper's Talk with Vallan- Gov. Andy Johnson's Supplement to one of