Swear him in, and let him go!

"Strange being!" says I, taking down.

A characteristic story is said to have been a pistol from the natural rack on the side told by General Butler, one day, in Wash- of my steed, and at the same time motionington. The General, speaking of the ing towards my sword, which I had hung farce of administering the oath to cap- on one of his hip-bones, "Art thou the tured rebels, and then turning them loose, shade of Metamora, or the disembodied related an incident that occurred at For- spirit of a sandbank?"

tress Monroe. A scouting party having captured and brought in a live rattlesnake, a question arose as to the disposal to be made of the dangerous customer, when a partially intoxicated soldier hiccoughed, him! swear him in, and let him

66

go!"

"Mudsills" on the Sacred Soil.

Mr. Orpheus Kerr, of the Mackerelville Brigade," relates his experience with the soldiers of the Potomac army as follows:

"My ducky darling," responded the eolian voice of Capt. Bob Shorty, "you behold a mudsill, just emerged from a liquified portion of the sacred soil. The mud at present inclosing the Mackerel Brigade is unpleasant to the personal feelings of the corps, but the effect at a distance is unique. As you survey that expanse of mud from Arlington Heights," continued Bob Shorty, "with the veterans of the Mackerel Brigade wading about in it up to their chins, you are forcibly reminded of a limitless plum-pudding, well stocked with animated raisins."

"My friend," says I, "the comparison is apt, and reminds me of Shakespeare's happier efforts. But tell me, my Pylades, has the dredging for those missing regiments near Alexandria proved successful?"

Capt. Bob Shorty took the mire from his ears, and then, says he:

"Two brigades were excavated this morning, and are at present building rafts to go down to Washington to get some soap. Let us not utter complaints against the mud," continued Capt. Bob Shorty, reflectively," for it has served to develope the genius of New England. We dug out a Yankee regiment from Boston first, and I never really knew what the term the moment these wooden-nutmeg chaps "mudsill" meant, my boy, until I saw got their breath, they went to work at the Capt. Bob Shorty on Tuesday. I was out mud that had almost suffocated them, in a field, just this side of Fort Corcoran, mixed up some spbiled flour with it, and trimming down the ears of my gothic steed are now making their eternal fortunes by Pegasus, that he might look less like a peddling it out for patent cement!" Titanic rabbit, when I saw approaching me an object resembling a brown stone monument. As it came nearer, I discovered an eruption of brass buttons at intervals in front, and presently I observed the lineaments of a Federal face.

Davis's Chairs in Readiness for Ulysses.

During the siege of Vicksburg, some of the Sixth Missouri Cavalry visited the former residence of "President" Davis, and found the blacks all very much alarmed

at the near approach of General Grant, by this time. Splitting the Union! Why, who they believed would immediately it, the State of Georgia is being split devour them. The frightened creatures right through, from end to end. It is asked numberless questions of the boys, as these rich fellows who are making this to what they should do to appease him if war, and keeping their precious bodies out he should visit them. The boys told them of harm's way. There's John Franklin, the General was not very frightful, and went through here the other day, running if they would assemble in the yard and away from your army. I could have give him three cheers, when he made his played dominoes on his coat tails. There's appearance, they would be safe. They my poor brother, sick with small-pox at were very much amused on returning, to Macon, working for eleven dollars a month, find that the darkeys had nicely swept a and has'nt got a cent of the stuff for place under the tree in the yard, and had a year. 'Leven dollars a month and set there three of the best chairs the man- eleven thousand bullets a minute. I don't sion afforded-presuming that "cheers believe in it, Sir. meant chairs,-in readiness for the great Ulysses. The best part of this joke is not given, viz., the reply which Grant made when the joke-loving General was informed of said preparations to receive him.

John Wells's "Idee" as to Splitting the
Union.

At one of the stations on the Georgia Central Railroad, Sherman's men came across an old man named Wells—a very original character,-who was formerly a depot-master on that line. He was a shrewd old man, and seemed to understand the merits of the war question perfectly. They say, (remarked the old man,) that you are retreating, but it is the strangest sort of retreat I ever saw. Why, dog bite 'em, the newspapers have been lying in this way all along. They allers are whipping the Federal armies. and they allers fall back after the battle is over. It was that ar' idee that first opened my eyes. Our army was allers whipping the Feds, and we allers fell back. I allers told 'em it was a humbug, and now by, I know it, for here you are right on old John Wells's place: hogs, potatoes, corn and fences all gone. I don't find any fault. I expected it all.

Jeff. Davis and the rest (he continued) talk about splitting the Union. Why, if South Carolina had gone out by herself,

My wife (added the old Georgian) came from Canada, and I kind o'thought I would some time go there to live, but was allers afraid of the ice and cold; but I can tell you this country is getting too cussed hot, for me. Look at my fence rails a-burning there. I think I can stand the cold better. I heard as how they cut down the trees across your road up country and burn the bridges; why, dog bite their hides, one of you Yankees can take up a tree and carry it off, tops and all; and there's that bridge you put across the river in less than two hours-they might as well try to stop the Ogeechee, as you Yankees. The blasted rascals who burnt this yere bridge thought they did a big thing; a natural born fool cut in two had more sense in either end than any of them.

To bring back the good old time, (he concluded) it'll take the help of Divine Providence, a heap of rain, and a deal of elbow grease, to fix things up again.

Oath-Taking in St. Louis.

The St. Louis newspapers published long lists of the persons in that city who took the oath of allegiance to the Government in compliance with General Halleck's recommendation. Some of them appended remarks to their signatures. The following is an instance :

Truman M. Post, pastor of the First she would have been split in four pieces Trinitarian Congregational church of St.

Louis. "As a minister of the Gospel, and a trustee of a State charity, I recognize the fitness of the call on me for my oath of allegiance. Cordially and gratefully do I give in this my adhesion to my country in this hour of terrible trial, regarding it as the scource of innumerable blessings to myself, and the millions of my countrymen, and fully believing the present attempt to destroy it to be a curse against both God and men, against the present and future, against ourselves and the human race, with hardly a parallel in the history of the world."

That was good text and comment for every lover of his country and his race.

Gov.-No, Madam, I suppose not. I will try to be more generous to you than your own rule would make me. I do not believe in your rule that "all things are justifiable in time of war." But that is just what you rebels insist upon. It is perfectly right and proper for you to violate the laws, to destroy this Government, but it is all wrong for us to execute the laws to maintain the Government.

The secession ladies looked around in various directions, and seemed to think that they had opened a knotty argument on a dangerous subject, with a very bristling adversary. Heaving a long sigh they retired.

"Come from 'Ginny, Sure! "

Knotty Argument for Secession Ladies. Quite an entertaining dialogue occurred At Point Lookout, where the Union one day in the Governor's office in Nash- army encamped, the blacks were nearly all ville, Tennessee, between Governor John- from Virginia. Some, however, ran in son and two secession ladies of that city, there from the State of Maryland, prewho came to complain of the occupation tending to have come from Virginia, that of a residence belonging to the Confeder- thus they might not stand any chance of ate husband of one of the ladies by a United States officer. The conversation was substantially as follows:

Lady. I think it is too dreadful for a woman in my lonesome condition to have her property exposed to injury and destruc

being returned, in any contingency. On a certain occasion, a rich Marylander came down to the Point, to look after one of his boys; finding him, he said, “Jack, you rascal, what are you here for?" Jack very coolly replied, "Who be you. Massa? I never seed you 'fore." Yes you have Gov.-Well, Madam, I will enquire into too, you lying scamp, I raised you and the matter, and if any injustice has been you must go home with me.” "Yah! done, will try to have it corrected. But yah! Massa nebber can don fool dis nigger. your husband, you admit, has gone off I's come from 'ginny, sure,” replied the with the rebels, and you abandoned your dwelling.

tion.

darkey, and utterly refused to know his old master at all. General Marston was Lady. My husband went off South, asked to send the negro back, but respectbecause it was his interest to do so. You fully declined, and "Massa" went off one mustn't find fault with anybody for taking darkey short. care of himself these times. You know, Governor, that all things are justifiable in

Literal "Stump" Speech of a Soldier. One of the attendants at the great Union meeting held in Troy, Miami county, Ohio, during the gubernatorial canvass between Vallandigham the anti-war candidate, and Brough the Union Republican candidate, was a returned soldier who had lost one leg at Vicksburgh. He was welcomed by his friends, and one of them—a

Vallandigham democrat-entering into ness. I believe it is customary to treat conversation with the soldier, remarked, the Speaker.

"You were a Democrat when you enlisted, Here he produced the flask, and proand I suppose you have come back a Dem-ceeded: Yes, I beg to inform the House ocrat." The soldier replied, "Yes, I was that I shall treat the Speaker-respect& Democrat when I left, and I am a Dem- fully.' ocrat still." "That's right!" replied his

The flask dropped into his pocket and

friend, triumphantly; "and of course you he into his seat, amid cheers from the galwill vote for Vallandigham,"-looking lery and smiles from the honorable Speakaround to gain the attention of the crowd er's colleagues.

to the answer. It came. 66
"My God! how
can I?" said the soldier, as he raised his
eyes to the crowd, and put his hand on the
Rhealed stump of his leg. Was not that
an eloquent "stump" speech?

Bogus Yankee Legislature in Georgia.

After the organization of the Legisla ture the question of reconstructing the State was taken up and discussed for some time, with all the gravity conceivable, by the Yankee 'representatives' from the various counties. The result of the deliberations was that the State was led back like a conquered child into the Union, and When the Twentieth Corps of Sher- a committee appointed to kick Governor man's grand army of invasion through Brown and President Davis at their most Georgia marched into the capital of that accessible point—which committee retired, State, to the music of the Union, the offi- and soon after returned and reported that cers, to the number of about one hundred, they were animated by a progressive assembled at the Senate chamber, called spirit, but that the articles upon which the roll of the House, appointed a speaker they were to exercise their pedal extremi and clerks, and opened the Legislature' ties were non est. with prayer, the facetious chaplain praying for the overthrow of the Confederate Government, the return of Georgia to the old Union, fine weather and little fighting on their march to the coast, and concluding with," All of which is respectfully submitted."

6

A lobby member very gravely arose in the gallery, and asked if this honorable body would hear from the gallery.

Half an hour's discussion followed, and on a parliamentary division, it was decided that the gallery should be heard.

Rising with all the dignity and polish of a Chesterfield, he quietly put his hand in a side pocket, drew out a flask, placed it to his lips, replaced it in his pocket, and resumed his seat.

The Legislature adjourned after the style of Governor Brown's Legislature of the previous Friday-by taking a square drink and a handful of "hognuts."

Tableau Political.

In a letter dated from Murfreesboro', N. C., January twenty-second, 1862, is a description of a tableau given there for the benefit of the soldiers. It must have its place among the political olla podrida of the war of the rebellion :—

We should not do justice to the tableau unless we were to describe the first scene. A young gentleman representing King Cotton, sat upon a throne resembling a bale of cotton. Down on one side of the throne sat a representative of the ebon race, with a basket of cotton. The king held a cotton cloth as a sceptre, and one of his feet rested on a globe. Around Lobby Member.-I beg the pardon of him stood young ladies dressed in white, the honorable House for my thoughtless-with scarfs of red and white looped on the

The Speaker. I must raise a point of order. I believe it is always customary to treat the Speaker.

shoulder with blue. On their heads they | laws. On the same day he made a requiwore appropriate crowns. These repre- sition for twelve thousand men, afterward sented the Confederate States; Missouri increased to fifteen thousand. He apand Kentucky were guarded by armed pointed Governor Lee, of Virginia, to the soldiers. chief command, and Lee marched with the fifteen thousand men in two divisions. This great military array, says the historian, extinguished at once the kindling elements of a civil war by making resistance desperate.

While we were gazing on this picture a dark-haired maiden, robed in black, with brow encircled by a cypress-wreath, and her delicate wrists bound by clanking chains, came on and knelt before his majesty. He extended his sceptre, and she Every thing that Washington said and arose. He waved his wand again, and an did at that period became of singular inarmed soldier appeared with a scarf and terest to those who lived in the times of crown, like those worn by her sister the great Southern Rebellion, just two States. He unchained this gentle girl at generations following. In writing of the the bidding of his monarch, changed her soldiers to Governor Lee he speaks of crown of mourning for one of joy and lib-"the enlightened and patriotic zeal for the erty, and threw the Confederate flag across Constitution and the laws, which had led her, raised the flag over her and led her them cheerfully. to quit their families, forward; then Kentucky advanced, took her homes, and the comforts of a private life, by the hand, and led her into the ranks. to undertake and thus far to perform, a Need we tell you who this maiden of sable long and fatiguing march, and to encoungarments was intended to represent? We ter and endure the hardships and privaleave that to be understood. If your tions of a military life. No citizen of the readers cannot divine, it is owing to our United States can ever be engaged in a description, and not to the scene. The service more important to their country. ceremony was performed in pantomime. It is nothing less than to consolidate and The representative of Virginia had in- preserve the blessings of that revolution scribed on her crown, Mater Herorum;' which at much expense of blood and treasand North Carolina wore on her brow a ure, constituted us a free and independent white crown, on which was the word nation." Bethel.' Both of these States were represented by their own daughters.

6

When the disturbance was quelled, he said: "It has afforded an occasion for the people of this country to show their ab

President Washington's Summary Dealing horrence of the attempt and their attach

with Rebellion.

ment to the Constitution and the laws; for I believe that five times the number of militia that was required would have come forward, if it had been necessary, in support of them."

When the Whisky Insurrection broke out in the eastern counties of Pennsylvania in 1794, Washington said: "If the laws are to be so trampled upon with impunity, and a minority, a small one too, is Governor Lee, of Virginia, was the to dictate to the majority, there is an end "Light Horse Harry" of the Revolution put at one stroke to republican govern--peculiarly dear to Washington, who in ment." youth had loved Lee's mother before her Washington issued his proclamation on marriage. He was also the father of the 7th of August, 1794, declaring that, if General Robert E. Lee, the great Contranquillity were not previously restored, federate chieftain in arms against that on the first of September force would be same Constitution and those laws. Could employed to compel submission to the General Lee doubt where Washington,