There

he expressed in his quaint way what every person feels who desires to improve mentally and morally. are, unfortunately, many shams in the world; persons who do not wish to improve, but to appear better or more wise or more learned than they are. They aim to deceive, but as a rule deceive themselves more than all others. The most effectual cure for such persons is ridicule, but should they bring upon themselves open and pointed rebuke, they are little deserving of sympathy. But the shams in society may be likened to the tares among the wheat, and all must grow until the great harvest. It is refreshing to know that there is pure wheat, that the highest style of Christian ladies and gentlemen are not at all rare. In this chapter I shall treat of all sorts, as part of my experience here. Mark Twain, in his inimitable book, "The Innocents Abroad," has made the guides, conductors and custodians of places where pilgrimages are made in Europe, the laughing stock of the English speaking people all over the world. If the guides and custodians could be heard, they would doubtless turn the tables, and give us such a record of the doings of Americans traveling in Europe, on suddenly acquired wealth, as would make us ashamed of our countrymen and countrywomen. To a limited extent the position of Custodian here is one of the very best for studying human nature, therefore, I propose, as far as my experience goes, to relate the story of the guides.

My conflicts here to maintain my rights and selfrespect have not been with the every day common people, nor with those who are denominated roughs, but it has been with those who by the advantages of schooling, I will not say education, for it is possible to be very extensively schooled, and not educated,-and wealth, ought to be more scrupulous in respecting the rights of others not so highly favored. But there is so much of the first Adam in us all that men and women, even professing Christians, take advantage of those very favors to tyrannize over others. The fact that a man or woman is a professing Christian should be conclusive evidence that he or she is a gentleman or a lady, but my experience here is that the profession is of itself very slender evidence. The actions of some I have encountered here fully explain to my mind why we so frequently hear of the coarse vulgarity of Americans traveling abroad.

I regard the National Lincoln Monument as the grandest school of patriotism on the continent, or in the world, and worth an hundred-fold more than all it costs, to the American people. It has been a great source of pleasure to me to impart its lessons to all men and women, high and low, rich and poor, who visit it from patriotic motives. But for those of either sex who, by their words or actions forfeit all claim to respect, I have no mercy, and the more intense the dislike of such shams for me, the more I feel honored.

When I took charge of the Monument, a set of rules and regulations were prepared by the Executive Committee, and a printed copy placed at each of the three entrances, that all might take notice thereof and govern themselves accordingly. The main points in the rules are, that I am to show all parts of the Monument, and give all the information about it to such visitors as desire it, and in order to defray the expense I am to collect from each visitor who goes inside, the sum of twenty-five cents. The first thing that surprised me was the great number of persons who would go around with me and seem charmed with my outside

descriptions, and when it came to paying the small fee would suddenly find themselves so limited for time that they could not go any further.

I call to mind an incident of this kind. A woman who occupies a prominent position in society and missionary meetings, and whose husband is reputed to be worth more than a hundred thousand dollars, rode up in her carriage with a lady friend, both richly dressed. They followed me as I showed another party around on the Terrace and into the Catacomb, asking more questions than all the others. When we came to Memorial Hall, pausing at the entrance to collect the small fee, they suddenly became too limited for time to go inside and at once started for their carriage. The weather was warm and I used only a grated door with a screen before it. When I reached the back part of the Hall, several minutes later, the door became darkened and I stepped quickly around the screen to drive away what I supposed was a lot of boys filling the space, and behold my two nice ladies who were so limited for time, had returned, each with an ear close to the grating, in a listening attitude!

A merchant came with two ladies. Knowing that he understood the rules with reference to paying, I readily admitted them. After giving a moment's attention to visitors who had previously entered, I returned to him, and said: "I suppose you understand the rule requiring a small contribution from each visitor who enters here ?" Springing up on his toes, assuming an air of defiance, and with a most contemptuous manner, he said: "If I choose to." Putting my face almost touching his, I replied, "Sir, if you do not choose to comply with the rules when you come here, get out of that door as quick as you can, and never enter it again while I am here." He went out on the double quick and never has entered it since.

I prepared a descriptive pamphlet of the Monument to sell for twenty-five cents. So many objected to pay

ing a fee, that I conceived the brilliant idea of pleasing everybody by taking one fee, conducting them through and giving a pamphlet to each one, thus giving double the value for their money. I was soon informed that a newspaper man was going to annihilate me because I compelled each visitor to buy a book as a condition of admittance to the Monument. In order to make his article unanswerable he went to a member of the Monument Association for some strong points, when he found I had authority for collecting all the money I did without giving the pamphlet. The article never appeared, but whenever the writer of it comes in contact with me, I always think I can see his hair turning the wrong way, but perhaps as to the latter part my imagination is somewhat vivid.

There were those who claimed to be of so much distinction as to ignore me, and if they could gain admittance, would undertake to do the talking themselves. One woman high in church, society, and official circles, of fine presence and always richly dressed, practiced this upon me two or three times. I saw her approaching one day accompanied by two distinguished divines. She signified her desire to enter Memorial Hall, did not make the slightest pretense of introducing or placing her friends in my care, but the moment she entered the Hall began to talk about the objects of interest, not so much to give information concerning them as to say in each alternate sentence something of what she had seen in Europe. I walked up by the side of the visitors, quietly saying that I was the Custodian, and as she commenced a description, I began talking about the same article, and thoroughly understanding the subject as it is my duty to do, I talked so much faster and more to the purpose than she could, caused her to turn abruptly to another article. I followed as quickly and soon drowned her voice, being very careful to preserve a gentlemanly demeanor. She soon abandoned the contest, and ever after left me to entertain her friends in my own way. I am not under the necessity of drawing on my imagin

ation, but these are actual occurrences, and many more similar to them might be given. I choose only such as have the wealth to travel in Europe and make the name American a by-word.

Of all the classes of people who visit the Monument, there are none who afford me more pleasure, by their outspoken loyalty to the principles for which Lincoln died, and sympathetic interest in all that pertains to his life and death, than the Methodists, both lay and clerical. In the autumn of 1875, the annual meeting of Illinois Conference was held in Springfield. Before the business of the conference commenced many of the delegates visited the Monument, and, of course, spoke of it to those still arriving. That was previous to the attempt to rob the tomb. On the second or third day a company of about twenty came and expressed a desire to obtain all the information they could. I took them to the Catacomb and explained the situation there, showed where the bodies of the children lay, and the location of the crypts prepared for the living members of the family. I then conducted them to the Terrace and explained that the names of the States were so arranged as to represent a bond of union, took them to the best point from which to view the statue of Lincoln, then went to the south front and summed up the lesson of patriotism in the whole combination, and after that a few minutes were devoted to those who wished to ascend the Obelisk.

The whole party was then conducted to Memorial Hall, where a running explanation was given of the relics on the walls and the tables. I then opened a book and gave an opportunity for those who desired. to register their names, and took advantage of their being thus occupied for a brief respite from the continuous talking. I did not then, as I do now, take the contributions at the door, and had not said a word about money, although I knew from some remarks on their part that they understood there was a regulation requiring it, and that they had probably read the same