CHAPTER XXXII.

MY FIRST PUBLIC SPEECH-CROSSING THE MISSISSIPPI IN A ROW-BOAT-"A VOICE FROM THE FRONT"-FACING AN AUDIENCE FOR THE FIRST TIME-AN EVENTFUL NIGHT. Return from the Front-Accept Invitation from Dubuque to address the Ladies Ferry-boat detained by moving Ice in the Mississippi — Cross in a Row-boat - The Trip attended with much Danger - The Risk assumed - Many prophesied evil Results - They proved false Prophets Crossed the River safely "All Iowa will hear you to-night"- Appalled at the Prospect - Am advertised for a Lecture, without being consulted "A Voice from the Front!"- Fear to attempt a public SpeechHesitation overcome by Colonel Stone's Argument - The Results that followed An Iowa Sanitary Fair is planned and carried out Aggregates nearly $60,000.

All

CAME up the Mississippi River the last of April, 1863, where I had been spending some weeks in work among the hospitals. I found my desk loaded with invitations to visit aid societies, or deliver addresses, in which I should narrate my experiences. were eager to hear directly from the army at the front, which was fighting not the enemy alone, but swamp fever, malarial diseases, and, worse than all, scurvy. The invitation which I decided to accept was one which in the order of date was first given, and that took me to Dubuque, Ia. The ladies had written as follows:

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VISIT TO DUBUQUE.

"The hall in which we hold our meetings will accommodate about three hundred. We shall pack it for an afternoon meeting. We want you should narrate to the ladies who will be in attendance what you have seen. Explain to them the need of sanitary stores how it happens that the government does not do everything for the soldiers and what is the particular kind of relief most necessary. In the evening we shall adjourn to a larger hall, where we shall have music, sell cake, ice cream, hot coffee, and other refreshments, and where we hope the attendance will be doubled. The great attraction will be your presence, and the fact that through you the gentlemen can get such information as they may desire. If we have good weather, we shall clear one hundred dollars."

now

I started the night before from Chicago, on one of the Pullman sleepers, and reached Dunleith East Dubuque - early in the morning. No bridge then spanned the Mississippi at that point - it was only a possibility in the future. A ferry-boat took passengers across. But as we alighted from the train, we saw the boat on the opposite side, with no prospect of being able to steam across immediately! The ice had moved down from the upper river, and was wedged in great masses opposite Dubuque, the broken and ponderous sheets grinding against each other and stretching from shore to shore. All ferriage of freight and passengers had ceased for twenty-four hours, and we only increased the anxious and impatient crowd; most of whom vented their displeasure at this unwelcome blockade in useless imprecations on the railroad officials.

I spent the weary day watching the unmoving ice,

THE RIVER CROSSED SAFELY.

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and wondering what was to become of my engagement in the evening. About three in the afternoon, I observed two men, on the Dunleith side, launching a row-boat where the river was open. By dint of earnest entreaty, and promise of handsome payment, I persuaded them to row me over. They assured me that I would be drowned and one of them declared

"if she were my wife, she shouldn't go a step!" I was not so certain of that. And I also knew that the boatmen were accustomed to this mode of conveyance, and had no expectation of being drowned themselves. If they dared take the risk, I need not fear to accompany them. My fellow-passengers bade me "goodbye" ruefully, prophesying, with the boatmen, that I should be drowned or, at least, "handsomely ducked." They all proved false prophets.

It took a long while to cross, for the men were obliged to row up-stream, above the loose ice, into clear water, and then to descend the river on the Dubuque side. I was safely landed, at dark, a mile above the regular wharf. I found my way to the house of my friend, who was to entertain me. A great shout of joy welcomed me as I entered the door. She was the President of the Aid Society, and the ladies had gathered in her parlors to arrange a new programme for the evening, as they despaired of keeping the promise they had made the public. Talking all at once they began to inform me of their grand arrangements for the evening, which my unexpected arrival would enable them to carry out.

So great an interest had been awakened that they had decided to hold their meeting in the evening in the Congregational church, and, to encourage me,

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"ALL IOWA WILL HEAR YOU."

they told me that neither Professor Agassiz, nor Bayard Taylor, who had lectured in it that winter, had been able to fill it with their voices. Governor Kirkwood was to preside; the Governor-elect, Colonel Stone, who was at home from the army with a gunshot wound, was to be in attendance; so were the Adjutant-General, the Attorney-General of the state, the leading members of the Legislature of both Houses, the Indian Commissioner, and, in short, almost all the magnates of the state of Iowa.

"You never could have a better opportunity to talk to all Iowa!" said the women, all in one breath. "For every county of the state will be represented in the audience to-night, and everything is auspicious of large results. How immensely fortunate that you were able to cross the river!"

I was appalled and dumbfounded. At that time, I had never attempted a public address to a promiscuous audience. I had only addressed audiences of women, sitting in a chair decorously before them, and trying with all my might to keep my hands folded on my lap. I had no idea whether I had voice to reach an audience such as the ladies had invoked -or courage to bear me through the ordeal. I was sure of one thing that I had nothing whatever to say to a congregation so imposing in numbers and in character, and I flatly refused to carry out their programme.

"You never should have made these arrangements without consulting me!" was my frightened rejoinder. "I am not a public speaker; I have never made a speech in my life, and never have addressed any but companies of women. I had something to say to you, ladies, as the Aid Society, but it is not at

"I CANNOT DO IT."

605

all worthy to be presented as an address to the great audience that you have unwisely called together. I cannot do it!"

The ladies protested. They had extensively advertised the evening meeting, and the town was gay with colored placards, announcing in letters as large as my hand, not only my name, but "the title of my lecture"-"A VOICE FROM THE FRONT!"- for so they had christened my unborn speech. They knew I could do all they had promised in the bills, if I would only attempt it. They had not supposed it was necessary to consult me- they had taken it for granted that I could talk to three thousand as well as three hundred and to back down because men were, in part, to compose the audience, why, that was too absurd—I must not think of such a thing. But the more they urged and persuaded, the more cowardly and helpless I became, until, at last, my courage took an utter stampede, and I was hardly able to talk coherently with them in the parlor. No shallop left on the shore by the retreating tide was ever more helpless or inert than I felt myself to be. There was no float in me- and I could not believe there ever would be.

Gentlemen began to arrive-governors, generals home on furlough, colonels, adjutants, and they all joined their entreaties to those of the crestfallen women. But they might as well have entreated a post. The thing was not in me. I dared not attempt it. At last it was settled that Colonel Stone, the Governor-elect, in whose regimental hospital I had spent some days, and with whom I had had an acquaintance at the front, should make my speech for me. I was to tell him what I intended to say to