some, most loathsome of all sins, for I cannot endure it in myself; much less can God contemplate me with any regard or patience.

Oh Lord, subdue this unwillingness to sink down into the dust at the foot of the cross. Enable me by thy good spirit to trust in Christ alone for pardon and sanctification of soul, and delight in his service. Why am I so vile? I think I would not for any thing serve any other master, or in any way gratify myself, except in doing good and being obedient to his will; and I can't see that this is wrong.

"Help me, Father, to look to Thee for grace to follow Christ. I do not wish to follow him as did Peter, 'afar off,' for I had rather be dishonored than dishonor God. I had rather die than wound the cause of the Saviour. Oh, is he my Saviour? But I am vile, and let me not deceive myself. Let no false hope find covert in my heart.

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I,

who have slighted the calls of mercy so long, will God now have compassion on me? Oh, will he, will he not cast me off forever? The thought rends my heart with anguish; but oh, how just it would be! I sometimes think I could admire the very justice that dashed me

to hell! but still I cannot endure the thought of being banished from heaven, and cursing my God while the tide of ages rolls on. Oh no! no! If I am lost, 'I will praise my God while I have any being.'"

CHAPTER VIII.

"Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? Hope thou in God, for I shall yet praise him who is the health of my countenance, and my God."

DAVID.

It is delightful and encouraging to the Christian reader to find his way into the heart of penitence and devotion; and a few more extracts from Mary's Journal may be greeted with plea

sure.

"O my God, my soul is cast down within me, and I am covered with the billows; but thou hast said, 'He that cometh unto me, I will in no wise cast out;' and oh, why cannot I trust thy promises? why not trust thy grace? O Lord! teach me how to cast myself at the feet of Christ; for there is a right way, and I cannot find it alone. I will do what I can; and whether I am redeemed or lost, I will pray without ceasing, night and day. I will cry to the Lord to be merciful to me a sinner. I will try to learn my duty from the Bible; but then all these exercises only fasten the

thought still deeper in my bosom, that I deserve to be cast off. Where shall I seek for peace? for oh! I cannot endure this harassing of a guilty conscience. I will seek no peace, any where, until I have by the blood of Christ made my peace with God.

"Alas! I am not the daysman: Jesus the Redeemer alone can say 'peace, be still;' I deserve no peace of mind, and surely I desire none but that which arises from a consciousness that I am

reconciled with my father.

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I had rather have all this

sting of conscience, than to relapse again into stupidity and indifference. Oh! I would not for worlds. I could weep tears of blood, if they could wash my guilt away. But nothing but the blood of Christ,

"Oh! give me faith to believe that thou wilt. Array the promises of the Bible before thy vision, oh my soul. Luke xviii. 7-8: xxii. 44. 'And being in an agony, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood, falling down to the ground.' This is a pattern

* "If I had died yesterday, where

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should I have been to-day? My mind is filled with agonizing reflections.

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But contemplate the promises :-'Whatsoever things ye ask in prayer, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.' O, give me faith to believe that my poor prayers will be heard; teach my proud heart which is the right way to ask

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I will ask some pious friend around me to point out to me exactly in what way to seek Christ; but oh, the sinful state of my neighborhood! I have no pious friend around me to go to. How my heart expands with love to God's people! But again, in this emergency let me flee to the Bible. Look at the Prodigal Son-I have read it, and it is delightful. Oh, how kind and benevolent is the Saviour. In the two former parables Christ had shown how much pains he takes to reform sinners. He represents himself as a shepherd wandering over hill and dale to find a lost lamb, which had left the fold, and strayed upon the cold and barren mountains. So he has followed me; and oh! how should I respond to these kind feelings of the Saviour. Like the Prodigal, I have been unwilling to enjoy my com