GRISK. Thou too wilt leave me when our fortunes fall. SCRUB. No! Wet-nurse, dry-nurse, house-maid, cook, and all, To thee I'll be; and by thy honoured side Right side or left-my duty shall be tied. Still will I follow thee, depend upon it, While hope remains GRISK. (aside.) To get a cast-off bonnet. SCRUB. Learn, madam, to contemn all praise betimes; For flattery, madam, is the nurse of crimes. GRISK. Believe, Scrubinda, I shall one day try To pay thee well for thy fidelity. Should e'er kind Fortune bless me with her gifts, SCRUB. (eagerly.) What? GRISK. A dozen Holland-chemises. Take this half-crown. Retire. Here comes my lord. SCRUB. (pocketing the money.) Thus virtue ever is its own reward. [Exit SCRUBINDA. Enter CONSCIENZO, in thought. GRISK. Why wears my Conscienzo that sad brow? Why ruminates my lord like any cow? Rouse! like a kitten frisk about the house, Nor like a tom-cat mope. CONS. I'm poor as mouse. GRISK. (anxiously.) Mouse! say not church-mouse. Poor as mouse of church. GRISK. Sure Fortune flogs us with her longest birch. I'm tired as dog, and sick as any horse. (To GRISK.) Leave me, my love; I fain would be alone ; For all my sorrows must be all mine own. GRISK. (tenderly.) No; let me stay, and share them drop by drop. CONS. Oh! here's a sample of a wife !-Then stop. GRISK. Say, my dear consort,-Conscienzo, say, Why still thou quit'st thy bed ere break of day? CONS. Say, my Griskinda, what's this yarn about? CONS. Will no kind windmill grind me into dust! CONS. Hide me, night, from day! Must I the secret of my friend betray? O fatal force! I can resist no longer; I am the weaker one, since thou'rt the stronger,- I happen'd at Rascallo's door to knock, In dreadful speech RASC: (RASCALLO, who has been listening at a door in the centre, (CONSCIENZO and GRISKINDA kneel. He points a dagger at the bosom of each. SCRUBINDA rushes in, and holds a rolling-pin over RASCALLO's head. SCRUB. Hold! monster, hold! RASC. Hence to thy scullery! SCRUB. Here I'd stay, base bragger, Had'st thou ten hands, and in each hand a dagger. Get thee down stairs! RASC. SCRUB. TABLEAU.) Never! Then stay, poor blockhead, Till from thy thick skull thy dull brains be knocked. wife : Her soul's as large as any common five! I'll make thee mine-so let's proclaim the banns. CONS. GRISK. Good sir, we can't stand kneeling here all day. GRISK. Psha! And further, RASC. Rise, then; you're free. RASC. To give't a zest, we'll season it with murther. GRISK. Now say, Rascallo, whence this fearful rout? SCRUB. First, promise me thou'lt let me keep a carriage. I'll let thee drive, my love, a coach-and-six ; And, unless Fortune on my purpose frown, CONS. (aside to RASCALLO.) My friend, too rashly spoken. RASC. (recovering himself.) I mean a-Brummagem five-shilling token. Now leave us, love. (Aside.) A woman's like a parrot,— SCRUB. (aside.) To learn what's going on, I'll use this device: RASC. Now, Conscienzo, was this noble?-eh ?— And filching crowns,-and them 'ere sort o' things? GRISK. [Exit SCRUBINDA. He he he! he he! he! RASC. Flames, fire, and fury! do you laugh at me? CONS. We laugh to find thee such a stupid elf. Whate'er she knows, thou'st told her, sir, thyself. RASC. And so I have.-May we depend upon her? GRISK. Thou may'st. RASC. But swear. GRISK. (kneeling, and with great solemnity.) Upon my word and honour! RASC. Hear then my plan; 'tis ready cut and dried. (To CONS.) Thou and myself, together, side by side, Then to our business-kill, kill, kill, kill, kill; CONS. (pityingly.) And won't you not spare any? (Shows a paper.) No, not none. RASC. CONS. (GRISKINDA starts.) And deck her beauteous form-in sarsnet green, I'll keep my word: here 'mongst my mems I set it. (Writes in a pocket-book.) GRISK. (aside.) Now don't he wish her majesty (sneeringly) may get it? RASC. Thee, Conscienzo, will I elevate, And make thee all that's noble, grand, and great: Still shalt thou find me to thy interest partial, So be thou-in short, everything from Archbishop of Canterbury down to City Marshal. CONS. (bowing.) My liege, y king- that is to be, I meanGRISK. (aside.) Nor sun nor moon shall e'er behold her queen. CONS. Some slight objections might I dare to start Against thy royal scheme? RASC. With all my heart. CONS. The royal presence how shall we approach? RASC. Well urged — (meditating)-I have't: we 'll hire a hackney-coach. CONS. Next, we 've no friends, no money- That's the reason: If we were rich, the devil take high treason. [Pronounce nuss, &c.] they cannot well be worse; And if we fail, the King can but — RASC. What? Kill us. [Exit RASCALLO.] CONS. Why did I league with him in this vile plot ? Ambition, thou art like - I know not what. He that is lured by thy enticements fair Is like the bark that floats - I know not where; And I am like those rash and daring men Mad with wild schemes, who lived-I know not when. But shall this be? No-no; I'll fall to pray'rs, And kick ambition all the way down stairs. Avaunt, ye very various visions vain! So-Conscienzo is himself again! GRISK. (sneeringly.) 'Tis wisely done! when Fortune kneels be. fore thee, All sparkling in a full-dress suit of glory, To spurn her favours; and the crown and rule She tenders, to throw from thee like a fool. CONS. To kill a king! GRISK. Thou mewling, puling elf! I'll go and knock his pate about myself. CONS. Hold! I'm resolved. The deed myself I'll do. GRISK. Go kill the King, and the king-killer too (significantly). Coxs. I understand thee not, my sweet rose-bud. [SCRUBINDA appears listening. 'Tis as clear as mud. Speak thy dark meaning. And what her acts may be These things premised, I must take leave to say, CONS. What's to be done? GRISK. They'll both be hang'd, or to be plain- they'll swing. GRISK. Betray them to the King. Then? Why, what ought to follow ? We'll kill the King, and win the crown dead-hollow. CONS. O, my Griskinda! 'tis a question which is, Or thou, or I, most fit to wear the small-clothes. GRISK. Then, let us on. CONS. GRISK. But if we fail? We fail. CONS. But should the King make head? GRISK. Still scorn we to turn tail. [Exeunt GRISKINDA and CONSCIENZO. SCRUBINDA comes forward. SCRUB. Now that's what I call neat: the genteel thingTo up and tell our matters to the King! And get me hang'd, and my Rascallo too! Bear up, my woman's heart! - Now what's to do? — - Ha!-with their own base measures I'll come o'er 'em : [Exit SCRUBINDA, with a rush. SCENE III. A Hall in the Palace. Enter RUMFUSKIN, musing. RUM. Why was I born a king, ah! tell me why Why make a king of these here realms of me? What is a king?- or what, indeed, is man? who can. To be a king! what is it, say, but, oh! To wear a crown, and reign supreme in woe. Like other kings I say 't, but like them, too,—I'll not. |