LAWYER CHOPS. I am sorry, gentlemen, to have occupied your time with the stupidity of the witnesses examined. It arises, gentlemen, altogether from misapprehension on my part. Had I known, as I now do, that I had a witness in attendance, who was well acquainted with all the circumstances of the case, and who was able to make himself clearly understood by the Court and jury, I should not so long have trespassed upon your time and patience. Come forward, Mr. Harris, and be sworn. So forward comes the witness, a fat, shuffy old man, a “leetle " corned, and took his oath with an air. CHOPS. Harris, we wish you to tell about the riot that happened the other day at Captain Rice's; and as a good deal of time has already been wasted in circumlocution, we wish you to be compendious, and at the same time as explicit as possible. HARRIS. Adzactly (giving the lawyer a knowing wink, and at the same time clearing his throat). Captain Rice, be gin a treat, and cousin Sally Dilliard, she came over to our house and axed me if my wife she moutn't go. I told cousin Sally Dilliard that my wife was poorly, being as how she had a touch of rheumatics in the hip, and the big swamp was in the road, and the big swamp was up, for there had been a heap of rain lately; but, howsomever, as it was she, cousin Sally Dilliard, my wife she mout go. Well, cousin Sally Dilliard then axed me if Mose he moutn't go? I told cousin Sally Dilliard that he was the foreman of the crap, and the crap was smartly in the grass; but howsomever, as it was she, cousin Sally Dilliard, Mose mout go CHOPS. In the name of common sense, Mr. Harris, what do you mean by this rigmarole? WITNESS. Captain Rice, he gin a treat, and cousin Sally Dilliard she came over to our house and axed me if my wife she moutn't go. I told cousin Sally Dilliard CHOPS. Stop, Sir, if you please; we don't want to hear any thing about your cousin Sally Dilliard and your wife-tell us about the fight at Rice's. WITNESS. Well, I will, Sir, if you will let me. CHOPS. Well, Sir, go on. WITNESS. Well, Sir, Captain Rice he gin a treat, and cousin Sally Dilliard she came over to our house and axed ine if my wife she moutn't go— COUSIN SALLY DILLIARD. CHOPS. There it is again. Witness, please to stop. 217 CHOPS. We want to know about the fight, and you must.not proceed in this impertinent story. Do you know any thing about the matter before the Court? WITNESS. To be sure I do. CHOPS. Well, go on and tell it, and nothing else. WITNESS. Well, Captain Rice he gin a treat CHOPS. This is intolerable. May it please the Court, I move that this witness be committed for a contempt; he seems to be trifling with this Court. COURT. Witness, you are now before a court of justice, and unless you behave yourself in a more becoming manner, you will be sent to jail; so begin and tell what you know about the fight at Captain Rice's. WITNESS. [Alarmed.] Well, gentlemen, Captain Rice he gin a treat, and cousin Sally Dilliard CHOPS. I hope the witness may be ordered into custody. COURT. [After deliberating.] Mr. Attorney, the Court is of the opinion that we may save time by telling witness to go on in his own way. Proceed, Mr. Harris, with your story, but stick to the point. WITNESS. Yes, gentlemen. Well, Captain Rice he gin a treat, and cousin Sally Dilliard she came over to our house and axed me if my wife she moutn't go. I told cousin Sally Dilliard that my wife she was poorly, being as how she had the rheumatics in the hip, and the big swamp was up; but howsomever, as it was she, cousin Sally Dilliard, my wife she mout go. Well, cousin Sally Dilliard then axed if Mose he moutn't go. I told cousin Sally Dilliard as how Mose-he was the foreman of the crap, and the crap was smartly in the grass-but howsomever as it was she, cousin Sally Dilliard, Mose he mout go. So they goes on together, Mose, my wife, and cousin Sally Dilliard, and they come to the big swamp, and it was up, as I was telling you; but being as how there was a log across the big swamp, cousin Sally Dilliard and Mose, like genteel folks, they walked the log; but my wife, like a darned fool, waded through. And that's all I know about the fight. EVENING. THE stream is calmest when it nears the tide, Morning is lovely, but a holier charm She comes from heaven, and on her wings doth bear A holy fragrance, like the breath of prayer; Footsteps of angels follow in her trace, To shut the weary eyes of Day in peace. All things are hushed before her as she throws There is a calm, a beauty, and a power, That Morning knows not, in the evening hour. "Until the evening" we must weep and toil, Oh, when our sun is setting, may we glide HYMN TO THE FLOWERS.-HORACE SMITH. DAY-STARS! that ope your eyes with morn to twinkle From rainbow galaxies of earth's creation And dew-drops on her lonely altars sprinkle As a libation! HYMN TO THE FLOWERS. Ye matin worshipers! who bending lowly Ye bright mosaics! that with storied beauty To that cathedral, boundless as our wonder, Whose quenchless lamps the sun and moon supply- Your voiceless lips, O Flowers, are living preachers, "Thou wert not, Solomon! in all thy glory, In the sweet-scented pictures, Heavenly Artist! Of love to all. Not useless are ye, Flowers! though made for pleasure; Were I, O God, in churchless lands remaining, 219 THE DEATH-BED.-THOMAS HOOD. WE watched her breathing through the night, Her breathing soft and low, As in her breast the wave of life Kept heaving to and fro. So silently we seemed to speak, As we had lent her half our powers Our very hopes belied our fears, For when the morn came dim and sad, THE MAIN-TRUCK, OR A LEAP FOR LIFE. OLD IRONSIDES at anchor lay, In the harbor of Mahon; |