by Saint Patrick, if I had you now at little Ballina-hatch, where the bad butter comes from, but I'd make ye dance like a couple of hens on a hot griddle."

"Come, Mr. Paddy," replied one of them," "leave us to our duty your not to be a dictator to

us !"

"A digtater!! O, you big tief, what d'ye mean by dat?"

The officer said, that if he struck him he should take the law.

"By my shoul, and the soner you take the law and yourself away too the better. We've had enough of it here honey."

It was in vain that the honest sailor inquired in his language, what would answer the distress, or, as he termed it purchase the anchor ?the officers, not at all pleased at his interruptions, only proceed. more harshly in what they called their duty; and one of them approached the cradle in which the little infant was placed, took it out, and laid it rudely on the floor, that he might take the very bedding on which it had reposed!

Bill stared first at the window, next at the child, and, while he rubbed his eyes with the back of one hand, the other went to his pocket. "Dam'me, cried he, here's pay out of the prize money."

Bill threw his purse on the table "There, will that bring up the leeway, old Nipcheese? will that pull the capstan, old Belzebub ?

Why, you cankankerous tief, ant you ashamed now to be trating the poor little cratur after that fashion?-To be sure, but Teddy knows what it is to be poor himself, for he was born without a shoe to his foot, and fait he has pretty nearly remained so ever since, honey." The honest tar watched the officer the whole time he was giving a receipt; and the moment he had got it in his possession, went to the little infant on the floor. He surveyed it for a moment-it was the picture of compassion! The brave tar took the babe gently between his rough hands, laid it softly again on its bed, and covered it up as tenderly as its mother could have done. He began to triumph. "Now, now ye lubbers," he exclaimed, "let me see you touch but a clue of his hammock !"

ANECDOTE.

A victualler, on election business, thus clegantly expresses the various items in his bill :--“ To

eating thirty-six freemen up stairs. To eating six freemen down stairs. To eating a parson and his two friends after supper. To punch coming in."

N

OTWITHSTANDING the laborious researches of philosophess, the extensive investigations of speculatists, and the comprehensive observations of moral writers, who have hitherto traversed the wide fields of literature, and gathered in a rich harvest of knowledge, both useful and entertaining, there is yet great reason to believe that although in the scientific field there is but little ground un. trod, there is still much fruit ungathered; for the generality of the great and learned men includ ed in the above description, have frequently been so hurried on by the natural impetuosity of their genius, and have taken such large strides in their rapid course to the Temple of Fame, that they have left much by the way side, and even let many things fall to the ground, which they had greedily taken in hand.

To collect the leavings of this multitude, to gather up into the basket of knowledge the scraps and fragments, so that nothing may be lost, and to feast on the crumbs which have fallen from the tables of these pampered sons of literature, behold the Cleaner, who

now enters the scientific ground with an hungry appetite, resolving to hold his course to the temple of Fame, if by his careful gleanings he can possibly furnish himself with substance by the way.

The Gleaner does not wish to offend by the boast of vanity, nor create disgust by extolling his own merits; he knows the lowliness of his situation, and will ever remember that he is but an humble Cleaner; yet while he acknowledges the inferiority of his rank, he is still determined to maintain his dignity.

It is the common practice of authors to preface their writings with a delineation of their plan; they generally point out the subject which they mean to handle, and sometimes accurately define the limits of their intended re. searches. To comply with general custom, is the duty of those whose abilities and reputation do not entitle them to make innova. tions; but great geniuses may deviate from common rules, without incurring the charge of arrogance, or the imputation of affected sin gularity.

In his rambles through this extensive region, the Gleaner must necessarily be often irregular in his course, and uncertain in his directions, for he must pick up

matter whereever he may chance to see it, and run from one side to the other, to catch at the objects which may casually present themselves to his wandering search.

The courteous reader, then, who will condescend to observe his desultory progress, must naturally expect to be presented with a variety of objects. It is impossible for him to sketch out any regular plan, or to give any previous intiination of the subjects he may occasionally take in hand. This, however, he will venture to declare, that nothing shall employ his attention but such things as may be conducive to amusement, and productive of utility.

The Gleaner, who is not wholly free from the weaknesses incident to humanity, feels some apprehensions that he may frequent ly be at a loss for that which is absolutely necessary for his support, on his intended expedition. He is determined never to be remiss in his researches; but his experience has taught him, that to seek, is not always to find, and even to find, is not always to be satisfied. The Gleaner will always be honest in his deportment, and consequently his cheek shall never be crimsoned with the blush of shame for however distressing the exigences of his situation may chance to prove, he is fully determined never to have recourse ta

HAVING the honor of being

a member of the Philolexian Society, (un institution of the Columbian Collegians) I attend their meetings, and consequently am perfectly well acquainted with its condition, and the business transacted therein; and as I feel myself deeply interested in its welfare, I humbly beg leave to offer a few remarks, for the perusal of those gentlemen who profess to be the advocates of science and literature, under the genial rays of the laws of Columbia College. My earnest wish, gentlemen, is to see this society flourish, and produce characters worthy the name of Philolexians-my desire is to promote its welfare, and increase the number of it members, as the

generality of you, gentlemen, are unacquainted with this laudable institution, it may, perhaps, not be deemed impertinent that I should give a brief sketch of its design, and a caution to guard against those improprieties which have proved so destructive both to the blessings of unanimity, and the rules of order and decorum. This society is formed for the immediate purpose of improving its members in oratory, composition, and discussion. That polite literature in refined society is very essential, requires no argument to substantiate its veracity; I will; therefore, by no means, solicit you, gentlemen, to introduce yourselves into our body; however, should any of be desirous to improve yourselves in literature, and become incorporated into our society, I would wish to prejudice your minds against an office, productive of much evil. With your consent, gentlemen, I will describe to you the efflce, and picture to your imaginations its abuse and impropriety. When any of the members of our society have been elected to the presidency three terms, they are promoted, and distinguished by the highly dignified title of senior officers; but in my humble opinion, were we to accommodate the title to the character, they would with much greater propriety be termed official lows. They wear silver

you

medals, suspended by chains, on their breasts; on which are engraved some obsolete, unintelligible latin words, to inspire, (if possible,) the inferior members with awe and reverence. This, however, has not so great a tendency to answer that purpose, as their gigantic stature, and aptness to exercise theargumentum ad hominum pugnaciously. And to increase their venerable appearance and respectability, whenever they appear at our meetings, they recline themselves in elbow chairs, puffed up with huge gowns, their heads comparatively very small, (I presume from the circumstance that they contain but little) so that their monstrous appearance once entitles shem to uncontrouled authority. The abuse and impropiety of this office will, doubtless appear evident, from the following circumstance.

at

very end. Thus those aspirers, by establishing union union between their adherents, ere elected to the presidency, which enables them to be elected twice and thrice-and here, gentlemen, behold the manner in which they obtain the senior officership.

The estimation in which I hold

the society, forbids me making any further observations; I trust every gentleman who shall peruse this address, will be impressed with the utility and importance of this society, and those who desire to make a proficiency in literature, will undoubtedly make application to become members, and afford every assistance to eradicate all improprieties.

KNICKERBOCKER, Jun.

Miscellaneous papers of thi kind have often fallen to the ground, for the want of some lite rary barrier to support them thro' the folly and caprice of the times in which they have been ushered into public view.

In this country in particular, where so much equality is to be found, and where gain is the principal object and ruling passion of the people, it is still more difficult to support a work that every week shall contain matter principally original, and be calculated for instruction and amusement. Opulence and grandeur in themselves so alluring, and calculated to arrest the progress of a mind, not accustomed from infancy to study, and so accessable to every man of industry, is the reason why polite and elegant literature is not more encouraged and cultivated in this country, and why it still continues to remain in its infancy: therefore papers like this, generally meeting with such ill support, editors scarcely dare hazard the result of employing men of genius and distinguished talents to conduct and superintend them. But the editor, at present, relying upon the confidence of a few literary gentlemen who have promised their assistance in his endeav ors to please and entertain, takes the liberty to assure his patrons that nothing shall be wanting,