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" you go on with the fancy, till I was thoroughly con"vinced your suspicion was real, and then comes me "about with the most unexpected catastrophe, and tells " you the whole truth of the matter, ha, ha, ha!

"Lady W. A very pretty farce indeed, my lord! " but by the thinness of the plot, I see you have not " given yourself much contrivance.

"Lord W. No, upon my soul, 'twas all so directly " in nature, that the least fiction in the world had "knocked it all to pieces."

Lady W. It's very well, my lord; I am as much di verted with the entertainment, I suppose, as you expected I should be.

Lord W. Ha, ha! Why, did I not tell you I should divert you?

Lady W. You have indeed, my lord, to astonishment. Though there's one part of the design you left out in the relation, and that was the answer that you wrote (by mistake I suppose) to your man's mistress.

Lord W. Oh, that-why, that was that was-the -the-the-the answer? Ay, ay, the answer was sent after the porter; because you know, if he had gone away without it, 't was fifty to one the poor fellow's mistress would not have been reconciled to him this fortnight. But did you observe, child, what a coarse familiar stile the puss writes ?

Lady W. Coarseness of stile is no proof that the puss might not be mistress to a man of quality. And I must tell you, my lord, when men of quality can find their account in engaging with women whose highest modesty is impudence, methinks they should not wonder if men of their own principles, whose impudence is often mistaken for wit, should talk their wives into the same failing.

Lord W. Let me die, child, if you ha'n't a great deal of good sense. [Sipping his tea.

Lady W. I is not the first time that an affronted wife has convinced the world of her personal merit, to

the severe repentance of her husband.

Lord W. Abundance of good sense.

Enter BRUSH.

Brush. Lord George, my lord.

Lord W. Desire him to walk in-Nay, you need

not go, child.

Lady W. I am not in a humour now for company

There's a couple of you.

[Exit.

Lord W. What pains this silly woman takes to weary me! always widening the breach between us, as if 't were her interest to have no hopes of an accommodation, as if she felt no pain in making her own life wretched, so she could but imbitter mine-Let her go on-Here's one that always sweetens it.

Enter Lord GEORGE.

Ah, my Gregory! "Kiss."

Lord G. "And kiss, and kiss again, my dear"By Ganymede, there's nectar on thy lips. Oh, the " pleasure of a friend, to tell the joy!"-Oh, Wronglove! such hopes!

Lord W. Hey-day! what's the matter?

Lord G. Such soft ideas! such thrilling thoughts of aching pleasure! In short, I have too much on't. Lord W. Thou strange piece of wild nature!

"Lord G. Death! I tell thee, man, I 'm above half "seas over.

"Lord W. One would rather think half the seas were

" over you; for, in my mind, you don't talk like a

"man above water.

"Lord G. Pr'ythee, forgive me. How is it possi"ble I should, when all my faculties are drowned in joy?

"Lord G. Then, pr'ythee, my dear, float about, "shut down the sluice of your rapture, before the "nothingness of your words gets over the banks of "your understanding." In plain common sense, let's know the business.

Lord G. Why, the business, in one word it's impossible to tell you.

Lord W. Impossible! Will you drink any tea?

"Lord G. Tea! thou soft, thou sober, sage, and " venerable liquid, thou innocent pretence for bring"ing the wicked of both sexes together in a morning; "thou female tongue-running, smile-smoothing, heart"opening, wink-tipping cordial, to whose glorious "insipidity I owe the happiest momentot my life, let " me fall prostrate thus, and s-p, s-p, s-p, thus "adore thee. [Kneels and sips the tea.

"Lord W. Come, come, you silly, affected rogue, "get up and talk at least like a fool to be understood. "Lord G. Don't you think there's pleasure in af"fectation, when one's heartily in good-humour ?

[Very affectedly.

"Lord W. Impertinent puppy! Drink your tea." Lord G. Oh, Wronglove! I have been drinking

tea

[Transported.

Lord W. With some laughing ladies, I presume, whose incessant concussion of words would not let you put in a syllable, and so you are come to ease yourself upon me.

Lord G. Then, pr'ythee, be a friend, and let me speak.

Lord W. Not only blank verse, but rhyme, if you please. In the name of nonsense, go on.

Lord G. Swear then.

Lord W. Swear!

Lord G. Ay, swear. "Lord W. Blood!

"Lord G. Psha! Pr'ythee.

"Lord W. Nay, pray, sir, give me leave to play the " fool in my turn; the moment you speak to be un"derstood, I'll secure you a reasonable answer.

"Lord G." Swear then never (to any mortal) to trust from you, to hint, or speak, of what I shall dis

cover.

"Lord W. Upon my honour.

"Lord G. Honour! The common hackney-oath " of fops, rakes, and sharpers: swear me by some"thing dearer than thy eyes, than life or liberty.

"Lord W. Indeed!

"Lord G." Swear me by all thy tenderest hopes in love: by thy soft sighs of pain, proceeding from thy pleasure; swear

Lord W. I do, by something dearer to me yet By my short stay after possession, by my chaise after hard riding, by my easy chair after dinner, and by t'other bottle after the bill's paid, I will be secret.

Lord G. Ay, now be perjured if thou darest-Know thenat last, that generous lovely creature has said behind my back, that I am the most sober, good-humour'd, and agreeably inoffensive young fellow, that ever came into a civil family. To be short, she has made me a general invitation to her house; upon which I have taken lodgings that look full into her back closet window, and drank tea with her alone this morning.

Lord W. Some humble sinner, whose only charm is being another man's mistress, I'll lay my life on't. [Aside.] Well, and what did you give her?

Lord G. A bleeding heart, all studded o'er with wounds of her eyes' own making.

Lord W. That is, you pulled out your watch as you were going away, and she took a fancy to one of the seals. "Though by the device I presume it was only a " modern bauble; so 'tis probable you might not have "come off much cheaper at mother Davis's.”

Lord G. "Profanation!" To be serious then at once, I have solid hopes of my Lady Gentle.

Lord W. Hoh! hoh! Oh, thou vain, thou senseless fop! Is all this mighty rapture then only from a fine woman's being commonly civil to thee? The mere innocent effect of her good humour and breeding.

"Lord G. Psha! tell not me of whence it is born, let it suffice I've form'd it into hope; let your tame

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