Am. Oh, madam, I don't come for that, alack! Flip. Good morrow, Mrs. Amlet. Am. Good morrow, Mrs. Flippanta. Clar. How much am I indebted to you, Mrs. Amlet? Am. Nay, if your ladyship desires to see your bill, I believe I may have it about me-There, madam, if it ben't too much fatigue to you to look it over. Clar. Let me see it; for I hate to be in debtwhere I am obliged to pay. [Aside.] - [Reads.] ' Imprimis, for bolstering out the Countess of Crump's left hip.' Oh, fie! this does not belong to me. Am. I beg your ladyship's pardon: I mistook indeed; 'tis a countess's bill I have writ out to little purpose. I furnished her two years ago with three pair of hips, and am not paid for them yet. But some are better customers than some. There's your ladyship's bill, madam. Clar. [Reads.] 'For the idea of a new-invented commode.' Ay, this may be mine; but 'tis of a preposterous length. Do you think I can waste time to read every article, Mrs. Amlet? I'd as lief read a sermon. Am. Alack-a-day, there's no need of fatiguing yourself at that rate: cast an eye only, if your honour pleases, upon the sum total. Clar. Total, fifty-six pounds and odd things. Flip. But six-and-fifty pounds! Am. Nay, another body would have made it twice as much; but there's a blessing goes along with a moderate profit. Clar. Flippanta, go to my cashier, let him give you six-and-fifty pounds. Make haste. Don't you hear me? Six-and-fifty pounds. Is it so difficult to be comprehended? Flip. No, madam-I-I comprehend six-and-fifty pounds, but Clar. But go and fetch it, then. Flip. What she means, I don't know-but I shall, I suppose, before I bring her the money. - [Aside.] [Exit. Clar. [Setting her hair in a pocket-glass.] The trade you follow gives you a great deal of trouble, Mrs. Amlet ? Am. Alack-a-day! a world of pain, madam-and yet there's small profit, as your honour sees by your bill. Clar. Poor woman !-Sometimes you have great losses, Mrs. Amlet? Am. I have two thousand pounds owing me, of which I shall never get ten shillings. Clar. Poor woman!-You have a great charge of children, Mrs. Amlet? Am. Only one wicked rogue, madam, who I think will break my heart. Clar. Poor woman! Am. He'll be hanged, madam: that will be the end of him. Where he gets it, Heaven knows; but he's always shaking his heels with the ladies, and his el : : : bows with the lords. He's as fine as a prince, and as gim as the best of them. But the ungracious rogue teils all he comes near that his mother is dead, and I am but his nurse. Clar. Poor woman ! Am. Alas, madam, he's like the rest of the worldEvery body's for appearing to be more than they are, and that ruins all. Clar. Well, Mrs. Amlet, you'll excuse me; I have a little business. Flippanta will bring you your money presently. Adieu, Mrs. Amlet. [Exit. Am. I return your honour many thanks-Ah, there's a good lady! not so much as read her bill If the rest were like her, I should soon have money enough to go as fine as Dick himself. Enter DICK. Dick. Sure Flippanta must have given my letter by this time. I long to know how it has been received. Am. Misericorde I what do I see? [Aside. Dick. Fiends and hags-the witch, my mother! thou doing here? Dick. What a misfortune! [Aside. Am. Good lard, how thou art bravely deck'd! But its all one; I'm thy mother still; and though thou art a wicked child, nature will speak; I love thee still-Ah, Dick! my poor Dick ! [Embracing him. Dick. Blood and thunder!-will you ruin me? [Breaking from her. Am. Ah, the blasphemous rogue, how he swears! Am. Will your mother's kiss destroy you, varlet? Thou art an ungracious bird. Kneel down, and ask my blessing, sirrah. Dick. Death and furies I Am. Ah, he's a proper young man! See what a shape he has-Ah, poor child I [Running to embrace him, he still avoiding her. Dick. 'Oons, keep off! the woman's mad. If any body comes, my fortune's lost. Am. What fortune, ha? Speak, Graceless-Ah, Dick, thoult be hanged, Dick. Dick. Good dear mother, don't call me Dick here. Am. Not call thee Dick-Is it not thy name What shall I call thee-Mr. Amlet? - Hal-Art not thou a presumptuous rascal-Hark you, sirrah; I hear of your tricks; you disown me for your I mother, and say I am but your nurse. Is not this Dick. No: I love you, I respect you, [Taking her hand.] 1 am all duty. But if you discover me here, you ruin the fairest prospect that man ever had. Am. What prospect - Hal-Come, this is a lie, now. Dick. No, my honoured parent, what I say is true; I'm about a great fortune. I'll bring you home a C daughter-in-law in a coach and six horses, if you'll but be quiet. I cann't tell you more now. Am. Is it possible ? Dich. 'Tis true, by Jupiter. Am. My dear lad Dick. For Heaven's sake Am. But tell me, Dick Dick. I'll follow you home in a moment, and tell you all. Am. What a shape is there! Dick. Pray, mother, go. Am. I must receive some money here first, which shall go for thy wedding-dinner. Dick. Here's somebody coming-'Sdeath, she'll betray mel Enter FLIPΡΑΝΤΑ. [He makes signs to his mother. Good morrow, dear Flippanta, how do all the ladies within? Flip. At your service, colonel; as far, at least, as my interest goes. Am. Colonel! spected. Look you, now, how Dick's re [Aside. Dick. Waiting for thee, Flippanta, I was making acquaintance with this old gentlewoman here. Am. The pretty lad! He's as impudent as a page. [Aside. Dick. Who is this good woman, Flippanta ? |