Page images
PDF
EPUB

not fight." "The sanctified do not fight, country, brushed violently against the but I have not been sanctified yet; and I Marquis. That gentleman, thinking probwill put thee out of the store in a minute!" ably that it was an inadvertence, took no The minister fled from the wicked Quaker. notice of the collision. But upon its repetition, when the intention was palpable, he turned, and said,

Badge of Treason in a New York Ball Room.

"Well, sir, what am I to understand by that?"

"You know very well what it means," was the prompt and crisp reply.

Quite a flutter in the political world was occasioned by a little act which transpired at a convivial gathering in New York, one winter's evening in 1863. The Marquis of Hartington, a young gentleman from England, had been traveling for some months in this country, and had run the lines to Richmond. In returning, his companion, or one of them, was taken, and imprisoned. The Marquis was more for-made, and when the two gentlemen met at tunate, and escaped.

At the same instant friends interfered, and begged that if any difficulty were pending, its consideration should be deferred until the morning. The gentlemen assented. Before the morning full explanations were

the club-house an understanding satisfactory to both sides concluded the affair. A few days afterwards the Marquis sailed for England.

dining a few years since at the house of the Marquis of Hartington's father-an English duke—and had said or implied (as he certainly never would have done), intentionally or unintentionally, that he hoped Great Britain, which was then contending for India in the persons of the children and brothers and friends of the

Before sailing for England from New York a masquerade was given by a gentleman of the city, to which the young man was invited. While chatting with a It was a proceeding which grossly in'domino' (one of the characters assumed sulted every loyal American in the rooms; by a lady in the masquerade,) the wearer and it is not to be doubted that the hostinsisted that he, the Marquis, should wear a conspicuous member of the gayer circles a rebel badge upon his coat. He refused, of the city-took occasion to inform the good humoredly. She pressed. He de- light-headed youth of the great abuse of clined. At last she said, "Well, then, at courtesy and hospitality of which he had least, while you are talking with me." It been guilty. If the host himself had been was the old story: "The woman tempted me, and I did yield." She paraded her triumph through the rooms until meeting suddenly his guide, philosopher, and friend, that gentleman said abruptly to the Marquis, as his eye fell upon the badge, "Good God! my good fellow-you must'nt do that;" and exhorted him in the most stringent way to remove the badge. The company at table, would not succeed; or young man obeyed; but not of course if he had worn at table the colors, had until it was known throughout the rooms there been any, of Nena Sahib-if there that he had plainly displayed a badge had been a single gentleman present whose which was inexpressibly offensive to the son had been massacred in that war, it is feelings of every loyal heart in the house. not rash to presume, despite British There were several officers of various phlegm, that the offender would have left grades present. General McClellan was the dining-room more rapidly than he one of the guests. It was therefore not entered. surprising that a little later a young officer, whose only knowledge of that badge was that it was the symbol of the murder of

Senator Lane and the Stage Driver.

A story is told of Senator Joseph Lane,

his friends and the attempted ruin of his of Oregon, which will bear repetition.

Accounts of the Senator's pro-southern | were like the Poles or Circassians, and we sentiments and movements preceded his Russians, trying to crush out your existing return from the Congressional session of nationality-if this were a war of religion 1861, and, it is said, rendered him very or races, I could imagine it lasting through unpopular; particularly after the attack many, many years. But it is not so. Inon Fort Sumter. When he reached the stead of trying to crush out your nationalshores of the Pacific, he began to feel his ity, we are merely fighting to prevent you unpopularity in various ways; but no re- from crushing out our mutual one; and mark that was made to him and in his every acre, every liberty we save from hearing was more cutting than that of a destruction, is as much yours as ours. War stage driver with whom he had entered for such a cause was never waged before, into conversation without disclosing his and therefore cannot last. When a few In the course of his talk the Sen- more decisive successes like the present ator took occasion to remark that he con- shall have proved beyond all doubt to the sidered himself the worst-abused man in Southern people that the cause of separathe State. "Well, I don't know about tion is utterly hopeless, I think we shall that,” replied the driver; "but if you are all be glad to meet again as citizens of a any worse than that rascal, Jo. Lane, God common country, greater for the very help you." ordeal through which it has passed. The only difference will be that Slavery-the cause of all this trouble-will have died during the progress of the war."

name.

Loyal Breeze from Port Hudson. In order to enjoy a sight of the fleet of busy steamers at Port Hudson, soon after the capture of Vicksburg, a Union gentleman took a station on a cliff, commanding a fine view of the newly-conquered territory and of the Union flags, as their graceful forms waved sharp and clear against the blue sky. While thus stationed, a rebel Captain gaily dressed, came up to the gentleman and said, thoughtfully

"We shall see," said the Captain, either unwilling or unable to maintain his position further; "I suppose you will allow we defended our position here well?" "Too well,' was the answer; 6. I think a great many good lives, on both sides, might have been saved by sooner surrendering a place which, it must have been evident, you could not possibly retain." "We should have done so," he candidly

"It is a long time, Sir, since we have avowed, "only we were all the while hoping seen so many vessels lying there." for reinforcements."

"Yes, Sir, and I am glad of it, for your sake as well as ours."

"How so?" asked the Captain, in a somewhat surprised tone.

"Because it looks to me very much like the beginning of the end; and that is what we all wish to see."

"The end is very far off yet," he continued, in a proud manner; "In the first place I do not believe, even now, that Vicksburg is lost to us; and you never yet knew a rebellion of such magnitude to fail in achieving its object."

"Nor did you ever know a rebellion so causeless and unnatural to succeed. If you

Familiar Chat about Generals.

President Lincoln expressed his troubles to a gentleman who was visiting him on a certain occasion, in the following language:

"The military men, it seems to me, will keep me in trouble all the time on their account. One day Senator Lane, of Indiana, calls on me and asks me why I don't give Lew. Wallace a command. I tell him that Halleck says Wallace is of no account, and ought not to have a command. He goes at me then, and says Halleck isn't worth a cent, and ought n't to have a com

[blocks in formation]

"No," said Mr. Lincoln, "that won't do. This question was answered by a little I think Halleck is a good man. He may miss at one of the school examinations in not be of course; I don't know much Troy, in a manner that did credit to her about such things. I may be a judge of intelligence and loyalty-her head and good lawyers, but I don't know much heart. After the exercises of the afterabout Generals. Those who ought to noon had concluded, the Principal stated know, say he is good."

“Well,” said the visitor, "if you don't know, you ought to know; and if the people don't know that Halleck is a fool, they think they do, and it's all the same."

that he should be pleased if the committee would examine the class in reference to matters of recent history, such as the events of the present war, to show that they kept their eyes and ears open, and were posted in matters transpiring around

Pen with which the Emancipation Proclama- them. One of the Committee said to the

tion was Signed.

President of the Board of Education, who was conducting the exercises, "Ask 'em when the war will end. Guess that will puzzle 'em."

Mr. Kemp, in his blandest tones, said to the class

The identity of the pen with which the Emancipation Proclamation was signed by President Lincoln cannot be made good. This appears from the statement of a gentleman who happened to be in Washington a few days after the signing of that paper, and who, by appointment, had an interview with President Lincoln, on matters of offi- the question?" cial business. Just after he had entered

[ocr errors]

"It is asked, by a visitor, when this war will end. Can any of you answer

Up went a show of hands, as at least the room and taken a seat, Mr. Lincoln fifteen boys and girls manifested a willingopened and read aloud a letter from a ness to solve the problem that statesmen, Boston gentleman applying to him for the financiers and politicians were supposed to pen with which he signed the proclama- have puzzled over in vain. tion, and stating, in glowing words, what great value he should place upon it, could he obtain the prize.

"You may answer," said President Kemp to a bright-eyed little girl near him: "When will the war end?"

Rising from her seat, the little patriot, in a clear unfaltering voice, with enthusiasm flashing from her eye, answered:

"When the rebels lay down their arms and sue for peace!"

The President remarked, after he had read the letter, that he did not think he could comply with the request of the writer, as he was not sure which of his pens was the right one. He knew it was one of a lot (this was the word) of a dozen The gentleman who had suggested the or so, and he would do the best he could. inquiry said: "I guess we won't have any To finish up the matter, Mr. Lincoln-ac- more questions." "We are all loyal in cording to custom-told a story. He asked this school," was the comment of the Printhe gentleman at his side if he had ever cipal, echoed by the large audience presread or seen a book or story called Squi-ent.

Swear him in, and let him go!

"Strange being!" says I, taking down A characteristic story is said to have been a pistol from the natural rack on the side told by General Butler, one day, in Wash- of my steed, and at the same time motionington. The General, speaking of the ing towards my sword, which I had hung farce of administering the oath to cap- on one of his hip-bones, "Art thou the tured rebels, and then turning them loose, shade of Metamora, or the disembodied related an incident that occurred at For- spirit of a sandbank?"

Swear him, &c

tress Monroe. A scouting party having captured and brought in a live rattlesnake, a question arose as to the disposal to be made of the dangerous customer, when a partially intoxicated soldier hiccoughed, him! swear him in, and let him

66

[ocr errors]

go!"

"Mudsills" on the Sacred Soil.

Mr. Orpheus Kerr, of the "Mackerelville Brigade," relates his experience with the soldiers of the Potomac army as fol

lows:

"My ducky darling," responded the eolian voice of Capt. Bob Shorty, "you behold a mudsill, just emerged from a liquified portion of the sacred soil. The mud at present inclosing the Mackerel Brigade is unpleasant to the personal feelings of the corps, but the effect at a distance is unique. As you survey that expanse of mud from Arlington Heights," continued Bob Shorty, "with the veterans of the Mackerel Brigade wading about in it up to their chins, you are forcibly reminded of a limitless plum-pudding, well stocked with animated raisins."

"My friend," says I, "the comparison is apt, and reminds me of Shakespeare's happier efforts. But tell me, my Pylades, has the dredging for those missing regiments near Alexandria proved successful?"

Capt. Bob Shorty took the mire from his ears, and then, says he:

[graphic]

"Two brigades were excavated this morning, and are at present building rafts to go down to Washington to get some soap. Let us not utter complaints against the mud," continued Capt. Bob Shorty, reflectively, " for it has served to develope the genius of New England. We dug out a Yankee regiment from Boston first, and I never really knew what the term the moment these wooden-nutmeg chaps "mudsill" meant, my boy, until I saw got their breath, they went to work at the Capt. Bob Shorty on Tuesday. I was out mud that had almost suffocated them, in a field, just this side of Fort Corcoran, mixed up some spoiled flour with it, and trimming down the ears of my gothic steed are now making their eternal fortunes by Pegasus, that he might look less like a peddling it out for patent cement!" Titanic rabbit, when I saw approaching me an object resembling a brown stone monument. As it came nearer, I discovered an eruption of brass buttons at intervals in front, and presently I observed the lineaments of a Federal face.

Davis's Chairs in Readiness for Ulysses. During the siege of Vicksburg, some of the Sixth Missouri Cavalry visited the former residence of "President" Davis, and found the blacks all very much alarmed

[ocr errors]

at the near approach of General Grant, by this time. Splitting the Union! Why, who they believed would immediately it, the State of Georgia is being split devour them. The frightened creatures right through, from end to end. It is asked numberless questions of the boys, as these rich fellows who are making this to what they should do to appease him if war, and keeping their precious bodies out he should visit them. The boys told them of harm's way. There's John Franklin, the General was not very frightful, and went through here the other day, running if they would assemble in the yard and away from your army. I could have give him three cheers, when he made his played dominoes on his coat tails. There's appearance, they would be safe. They my poor brother, sick with small-pox at were very much amused on returning, to Macon, working for eleven dollars a month, find that the darkeys had nicely swept a and has'nt got a cent of the stuff for place under the tree in the yard, and had a year. 'Leven dollars a month and set there three of the best chairs the man- eleven thousand bullets a minute. I don't sion afforded-presuming that "cheers" believe in it, Sir. meant chairs,-in readiness for the great Ulysses. The best part of this joke is not given, viz., the reply which Grant made when the joke-loving General was informed of said preparations to receive him.

John Wells's "Idee" as to Splitting the
Union.

[ocr errors]

My wife (added the old Georgian) came from Canada, and I kind o'thought I would some time go there to live, but was allers afraid of the ice and cold; but I can tell you this country is getting too cussed hot, for me. Look at my fence rails a-burning there. I think I can stand the cold better. I heard as how they cut down the trees across your road up country and burn the bridges; why, dog bite their hides, one of you Yankees can take up a tree and carry it off, tops and all; and there's that bridge you put across the river in less than two hours-they might as well try to blasted rascals who burnt this yere bridge stop the Ogeechee, as you Yankees. thought they did a big thing; a natural born fool cut in two had more sense in either end than any of them.

The

At one of the stations on the Georgia Central Railroad, Sherman's men came across an old man named Wells-a very original character,-who was formerly a depot-master on that line. He was a shrewd old man, and seemed to understand the merits of the war question perfectly. They say, (remarked the old man,) that you are retreating, but it is the strangest sort of retreat I ever saw. Why, dog bite 'em, the newspapers have been lying in this way all along. They allers are To bring back the good old time, (he whipping the Federal armies, and they concluded) it'll take the help of Divine allers fall back after the battle is over. It Providence, a heap of rain, and a deal of elbow grease, to fix things up again.

was that ar' idee that first opened my
eyes. Our army was allers whipping the
Feds, and we allers fell back. I allers
told 'em it was a
humbug, and now
by —, I know it, for here you are right
on old John Wells's place: hogs, potatoes,
corn and fences all gone. I don't find any
fault. I expected it all.

Oath-Taking in St. Louis.

The St. Louis newspapers published long lists of the persons in that city who took the oath of allegiance to the Government in compliance with General Halleck's recommendation. Some of them append

Jeff. Davis and the rest (he continued) ed remarks to their signatures. The fol talk about splitting the Union. Why, if lowing is an instance :

South Carolina had gone out by herself,

Truman M. Post, pastor of the First

she would have been split in four pieces Trinitarian Congregational church of St.

« PreviousContinue »