"But you signed the ordinance-and the signature looks as though you thought it was something to be proud of." Accidents Will Happen. General Garfield had a bad egg thrown at him by some treason sympathizer while "I signed it merely as a witness to the speaking at Chestertown-the same place record!" 66 66 where, he said, a few weeks since he was Signed as witness! Bosh! What non- face to face with the companions of the sense! Suppose, Doctor, you really were miscreant on the field of battle. 'They a Member of Congress, and old Jake Bar- carried more dangerous weapons," said the ker, as the representative of Benjamin General, "but as I did not run there, it is Franklin, should present a claim for wit- not probable that I shall run now; and as ness fees, on the ground that his ancestor I fought then, if necessary, I can fight signed the Declaration of Independence now!" The mob were intensely gratified only in that capacity-would you vote for by this plucky speech, and proceeded to it ?" The Doctor appeared to be afflicted with a bronchial disorder, which prevented his making immediate answer. "Now," says the General, "I tell you I think it an insult to loyal men that a signer of that ordinance should offer to take the oath I have read. You know very well that the signing of that document was made a test of the devotion of members of the Convention to the cause of Secession. You know very well that it was made a test in the case of Mr. Rozier, and you know that he did not meet it as you did by surrendering to treason." "Very well, Sir, I will announce in the newspapers that I am ordered by the military commander to withdraw my name from the canvass." inflict summary justice upon the eggthrower, which they did, unfortunately, by administering a tremendous beating to the wrong man! If a true patriot, however, he doubtless forgave the accident, and was willing thus to suffer vicariously in so good a cause. Disturbing an Orator. When the Union lines advanced towards Corinth, in the summer of 1862, a battery was planted on an eminence commanding a considerable portion of the country, but completely shrouded from view, by a dense thicket. Scouts were sent out to discover the exact position of the rebels, and when they were but a short distance in advance, to give a signal as to the direction to fire, if any were discovered. "No you wont-nothing of the sort. I One of the rebel commanders, unaware have given you no orders; I shall give of such presence, called around him a you none. I have only to say that I think brigade, and commenced addressing them it grossly scandalous that you, after having in something like the following strain: signed an ordinance of secession, should "Sons of the South! We are here to ask the people of this District to put you defend our homes, our wives and daughin a position to take this oath; and even ters, against the horde of Vandals who if you can bring your conscience to allow you to take that oath, certain it is that no House of Representatives would allow you to take it in its presence!" So the Doctor went his way, and apnounced in the newspapers that unforeseen circumstances commanded his withdrawal from the canvass. have come here to possess the first and violate the last. Here, upon this sacred soil, we have assembled to drive back the northern invaders-drive them into the Tennessee. Will you follow me? If we cannot hold this place, we can defend no spot of our cherished Confederacy. Shall we drive the invaders back, and strike to death the men who would desecrate our point. His vessel ran aground, and he homes? Is there a man so base among was obliged to stay several days in this those who hear me as to retreat from the place. He was put in jail, had no funds contemptible foe before us? I will never to pay some infernal fine with, and would blanch before their fire, nor-” have been sold by the State into slavery, had not several of us, who happened to hear it, raised $800, and secured his liberty." At this interesting period the signal was given, and six shells fell in the vicinity of the chivalrous officer and his men, who suddenly forgot their red-hot resolves, and fled in confusion to their breastworks. One of the Things to be Done. A very gentlemanly, intelligent Union soldier was one day standing by the side of a 32-pounder, at Annapolis, Maryland, over which, under the military rule of General Butler, there proudly floated the Stars and Stripes. In the course of a conversation with some disunionists who surrounded him, one of them said: "Why, you surprise me; I never heard of that." "No, and you never would have heard of it under your state of things. But now you will find that papers will print different matter from what they used to. And that, my friend, is one of the things that we expect to do." Friendly Advice to a Doubtful Unionist. Colonel Marshall, an old army officer, distinguished by his explorations on the "I would just like to know now, what Plains, regarded the valley of the Pamunyou all expect to do?" key as almost a paradise. The green With the gun for his seat, the flag for fields of waving grain were so luxuriant his protection, and slaveholders for his au- that he was induced to inquire how long dience, he replied: the ground was run without change, and "We expect to enforce the laws of the was astonished to find that once in six United States, in all the States. We in-years was the reply. The houses are built tend, that persons living in Charleston, of brick, and the barns are of the most South Carolina, who desire to subscribe substantial character. Upon one occasion for any Northern paper, may, with perfect safety, take such paper from its wrapper, and read it with impunity in the public rooms of your hotels. And when vessels with colored sailors, having regular papers from the United States custom houses, go to Southern ports, we intend that those sailors shall not be molested, in any manner whatever." "Why, you are an abolitionist!" "No, Sir, not a bit of it. But I am an American citizen, having certain rights, which have not, heretofore, been protected; but which hereafter, thanks to your folly, will forever be secured. Why, only a year ago, when I was at Wilmington, a colored man, who had bought himself and a small schooner, was engaged in the coasting trade hereabouts, and happened to find he encamped in a clover field, and, as was very natural under the circumstances, the horses, being in clover, lost no time in taking advantage of it. The gentlemanly proprietor of the clover field, having made serious remonstrances without effect, at last demanded payment therefor, when the following brief and conclusive colloquy ensued: PROPRIETOR. Colonel Marshall, I be lieve? COL. M. You believe right, Sir. PROPRIETOR. Well, Colonel, you have trampled down my clover field and completely destroyed it. Do you intend paying for it? COL. M. Well, Sir, are you loyal? COL. M. Are you willing to take the himself in trouble, not far from this very oath of allegiance to the United States? PROPRIETOR. No, Sir. COL. M. Then get Jeff. Davis to pay you, and get out of my tent, you infernal traitor. Dr. -'s Loyalty rather Coppery. Down in old Eastern Massachusetts (town not mentioned), resides a certain Dr., whose loyalty was commonly reputed as rather "coppery," but who is Rousseau's First Step toward making Loyal wonderful in his success in transplanting Men of Rebels. trees and making them thrive-in fact has On General Rousseau's succeeding raised a paradise around his fine old manGeneral Mitchel in his command in Ala- sion. A clerical guest once making the bama, he was visited by a gentleman re- rounds, said, "Doctor, the United States questing permission to go beyond our lines Marshal ought to have an eye to your and visit his wife. He had never taken proceedings." "How so," asked the Docup arms against the Union, but he had tor, a trifle startled, and wondering whether aided and abetted those who had, and admitted that he was still a Secessionist. "You can't go," said the General. "It seems very hard,” replied Secesh, "that I can't go to see my wife." "No harder for you than it is for me," returned the General; "I want to see my wife. You have compelled me to leave her, by your infernal treason. You surely don't expect me to grant you a favor which your rebellious conduct prevents me from enjoying." "Well, but General, he had spoken out a little too plainly any time. "Because you have such a happy way of encouraging trees-on." The Doctor laughed, and "owed him one.” Raising the Flag. A great city for Union people, Union speeches, Union flag-raising, etc., is The boys are even more vociferous in cheering for the Union than are their pa rents, and when the 'Stars and Stripes ' are to be unfurled to the breeze, specimens of Young America may always be seen honoring the occasion with their presence. At one of these gatherings, where, with the above described concourse, were assembled the stanch Union men of the city, "What do you wish me to do, General?" one among the latter class was chosen to "I wish you to return to your allegiance, address the assembly. Accordingly, he and, as far as lies in your power, to dis- arose upon the platform, and amidst the countenance rebellion and treason." deep silence of the expectant audience "But, General, my conscience will not began, 'slowly but surely,' as follows: allow me to do that." "It is useless to talk, Sir. If you will go to work and assist me to return to my wife, I will do all I can to enable you to return to yours." "Neither, then,” replied the Kentucky patriot, "will my conscience allow me to grant you favors which are due only to loyal men." Of course there was nothing further to be urged; the baffled rebel took up his hat and left. The General turned toward those who were sitting in his tent, and quietly remarked, "When you have rendered these rebels fully sensible of how much they have lost by their rebellion, you have taken the first step toward making them loyal men." "Countrymen !-friends!-fellow-citizens !-why are we here assembled this evening?" Scarcely had this question been thus put to the listening crowd when an impatient juvenile patriot, indignant at the very thought that the man selected to address the people should be ignorant of the reason why they had there assembled, answered in a drawling, whining, but perfectly audible voice : "To raise that flag, ye big fool ye !" This information was applauded by a general laugh-the orator asking no more such patent questions during that might be protected by Divine Providence, address. on the battle field, and that should he fall a victim to the bullets of the enemy he might be prepared for the change. In a few moments after, the meeting came to an end, when the minister, all Judge G's Idea of the Rebellion. Judge G. was a Justice of the Supreme Such a speech at any time would thrill Court in the western part of the State of with patriotic fervor the brave heart of New York a short time before the rebelthat worthy minister, and he consequently lion broke out, but while the distant mutterings of its thunders could be heard. hero. After this, the wife of the enlisting spoke a few words of encouragement to the The Judge was as renowned for his solid brother volunteered her experience, in the learning and patriotism as he was for a course of which, alluding to her husband's certain quaintness of expression, that oft-enlistment, she expressed a willingness to times produced a laugh in court, to the give him up, even unto death, in the sergreat surprise of the Judge. One day a vice of his country. feigned issue in a divorce suit, involving abandonment and desertion on the part of the guilty party, was on trial at the Circuit, and the counsel for the plaintiff, who sometimes indulged in "spread eagles," was in the very climax of his rhapsody, when, turning a moment from the jury, whom he was addressing, to the Court, he said, "What would your Honor do, I would like to know, if a portion of the States of this glorious Union should 'shoot madly from their spheres,' and attempt the destruction of the nation?" "What would I dew?" asked the Judge; "why, I'd try and shute them back again." It may be added that the Judge, who is still upon the bench, adhered unfalteringly to his opinion. anxiety for the welfare of the patriot volunteer, proceeded to make some inquiries in reference to his regiment, commencing with the very natural question as to its name and number, when he received the startling reply, "I've jined the Home Guard!" Arrest of "Joe Guild" by Colonel Myers. Colonel Myers, of California, received the appointment of Union Sheriff of Nashville and its vicinity, and in the discharge of his duties was ordered to arrest certain offensive characters-among others a certain Col. Joe Guild. This person was elected Judge of the Chancery District, which embraces Sumner county, after Tennessee was forced into rebellion. He was a lawyer of some ability, and a bilious Breckinridge politician. In the work of treason, no one commenced earlier or ran faster. Devotion to the Stars and Stripes. Rev. Mr. a man about six feet four in his stockings, and of proportions worthy a grenadier, and whose heart is as stout as his frame, a thorough Union man, and in for the war until all treason was When Colonel Myers went in search thoroughly crushed out, was conducting & of "Old Bally," he took a walk around religious conference meeting, when a Gallatin in his usual quiet way, and asked brother arose to speak, who, after alluding some one he met where Colonel Guild to his hopes and fears in a religious point lived. "Judge Guild? yonder he goes of view, branched out in reference to the now," said the citizen, "on that pony." state of the country, saying that so great Quickening his pace, the Sheriff soon was his devotion to the Stars and Stripes caught up, and approaching him, inquired that he had enlisted; and after a few if that was Colonel Guild. further patriotic remarks, begged an interest in the prayers of the church, that he "Guild is my name, sir; what will you have?" "I have visited Gallatin for the purpose reply that the bill was a counterfeit. of arresting you." "Arrest me!" said Guild, with well feigned astonishment; I have done nothing worse than thousands have done in this county." "That may all be very true, Colonel Guild; but we are determined that those who took front seats in this little show shall keep them throughout." His lawyer, who had heard of the evidence to be brought against his client, asked him just before going into court, "Did you take the bill to the cashier of the bank and ask him if it was good?" "I did," was the reply. "Well, what was the answer of the cashier?" The rascal was in a corner, but he got out of it in this fashion: "He said it was a pretty, tolerable, respectable Colonel Guild desired to see his resi- sort of a bill." Mr. Lincoln thought the dence before setting out for Nashville, but clergyman was "a pretty, tolerable, respectour Sheriff was in a hurry. "But the able sort of a clergyman." The President Court is in session," said Guild, "surely said: "We have a good many of that class you will allow me to sign the records?" in Washington, I fear, though, if anybody "Yes, you can sign them. Send for them is going to make me prove this I'll back and sign them at the Provost Marshal's down at once, for in these times it is hard office.". to prove anything." macious Member.. The Judge sent for the records and for his family. When these came, a number Hard-Shell Brethren Dealing with a Contuof citizens came as a committee of condolence. Judge Guild's female relatives were demonstrative. Mrs. G. wished she just had the power; she would drive the Yankee Hessians out of the country very quick. Nobody took a higher reputation for daring and efficiency in the guerrilla war in Missouri than Major Clark Wright. He and his rangers became a terror to rebels in that region. When the roar of secession first went up from South Carolina, he heard it in common with others, but, while avowing his Union sentiments, Some one was discussing the character of a pro-Southern clergyman-a timeserving Washington domine-in the presence of Mr. Lincoln. Says Mr. Lincoln to his visitor, I think you are rather hard upon Mr. Blank. He reminds me of a man in Illinois who was tried for passing a counterfeit bill. It was in evidence that attended simply to his business, and avoided before passing it he had taken it to the giving any offence on account of his views. cashier of a bank and asked his opinion In course of time, however, at a Baptist of the bill, and he received a very prompt meeting near his residence, a few of the Hard Shell Brethren. |