some of the

vacant chair opposite the General, and let | a pretty clear idea of the battle, he was ininto the good things before him with a zest stantly surrounded at his hotel and overthat plainly told of long marches and pre-whelmed with questions. The result was vious scanty rations. This was too much that the Captain fought the battle overfor the aristocratic old officer. Drawing and refreshed himself with " himself up a la General Scott, and with same," until he got rather confused-so one of his severest frowns and the harsh- much so, indeed, that he was often caught est voice he could command, he exclaimed, getting the line of battle in disorder, and in tones of evident disgustdoing other very unmilitary movements. In the height of his excitement, Colonel

"Sir, what do you mean? Do you know at whose table you are sitting?"

The soldier, scarcely looking up replied, in the interval between a bite and a drink, "I know I am dreadful hungry; and I ain't a bit particular who I eat with since I've gone soldiering!"

All for the Whiskey.

In one of the battles in Mississippi, an Indiana regiment was fiercely attacked by a whole rebel brigade. The Indianians, unable to withstand such odds, were compelled to fall back about thirty or forty yards, losing to the utter mortification of officers and men-their flag, which remained in the hands of the enemy. Suddenly a tall Irishman, a private of the color company, rushed from the ranks across the vacant ground, attacked the squad of rebels who had possession of the conquered flag, with his musket, felled several to the ground, snatched the flag from them, and returned safely back to his regiment. The bold fellow was, of course, immediately surrounded by his jubilant comrades and greatly praised for his gallantry, his captain appointing him to a sergeancy on the spot; but the hero of the occasion cut every thing short by the reply, "Oh, niver mind, Captin, say no more about it; I dropped me whiskeyflask among the rebels and fetched that back, and I thought I might just as well bring the flag along."

-, a friend of the Captain's, came in, and the latter, determined that the former should have a clear idea of the action, commenced over again as follows:

"Look here, Colonel-you see the Michiganders were stationed along here;" and the Captain stuck his finger into his neighbor's sherry cobbler, and with the mixture, as it dropped off his finger, drew a short line on the top of the bar counter. "This, gentlemen," said the Captain, warming up, "that's the Michigan-ic-ganic Regiment, and here the Vermonters in the rear of the Indi-Indi-an-ians in the centre." Hereupon, the Captain stuck his finger in somebody else's glass, and drew a second line with his finger. "Now, you see," continued the Captain, with a very self-satisfied air, "that the Twentieth Maine was stationed out here;" and pop went the Captain's finger into another glass, the action resulting in the making: of a formidable water-line considerably in advance of the other two. "Now," said. the Captain, by way of parenthesis, "I believe if General Butler has a fair chance,. he can whip the Confederacy or any other man." Just at this moment, one of the barkeepers, a stolid old negro, whose busi-ness it was to keep things neat and clean, espied the three marks the Captain had made on the top of the counter, and swinging rornd his formidable towel the front. line disappeared in an instant. The Captain glanced on the darkey for a moment, Going Over his Battles Again. but most penetratingly, and then wrathfulCaptain McD. arrived in New Orleans ly exclaimed, "You infernal nigger you! about four hours after the battle at Baton don't you observe you have wiped out the Rouge, and as he was a good talker, and had Twentieth Maine Regiment ?"

The Captain having so suddenly been conflict, started for their respective destideprived of one of his most reliable regi- nations, each seeking, of course, to come ments, and the Michiganders at the same out in advance of the others with the pubtime beginning to "dry up," he concluded lic report, one of the gentlemen being he would adjourn the description until a connected with the press of Chicago, Illimore favorable season. The Captain was nois, and the others with New York papers. seen the next day, and seemed to complain The three arrived together at Nashville, of a severe headache-owing to the fact, Tennessee, when two of them leagued to perhaps, that there was a hole in his mos- play a joke upon their associate. All of quito-bar, and he was so bit up the night them being wearied, they thought it not previous, by the insects, that he could'nt in bad taste to regale their appetites with sleep. (Ahem.) some strengthening beverages. The uliquitous John D-, of the N. Y. — "6 Swamp Angel" Incident. boasted that he could drink more and not Colonel Serrell, of the New York En- get drunk than any other knight of the gineers, had the charge of the construction quill in the Army of the Cumberland. of the "Swamp Angel," at Morris Island, The Chicago man and the other New S. C., and being of an energetic constitu- Yorker closed the bet, and soon the three tion himself, and not afraid to enter were engaged in their bibulous labors. swamps, his surprise can be imagined The boaster tossed them down-the when one of his lieutenants, whom he had ordered to take twenty men and enter that swamp, said that he "could not do it-the mud was too deep." Colonel Serrell ordered him to try. He did so, and the Lieutenant returned with his men covered with mud, and said:

66

slings' and 'skins,'-without regard to what his competitors did, and soon got himself into a condition in which mere terrestrial affairs and worldly vanities gave him very little trouble. Business was the great point with his rivals, and by a leetle closer attention to that than to the bowls,

Colonel, the mud is over my men's succeeded in keeping sober, and when the heads; I can't do it."

time to depart had arrived, off they started, The Colonel insisted, and told the Lieu- leaving the boozy and oblivious gentleman tenant to make a requisition for anything in charge of the chambermaid. Up to that was necessary for the safe passage of the latest date, no 'original' report had the swamp. The Lieutenant did make appeared in the columns of that enterprishis requisition in writing, and on the spot. ing reporter's paper. It was as follows:

"I want twenty men eighteen feet long to cross a swamp fifteen feet deep."

The joke was a good one. It secured, however, not a cubit to the stature of the Lieutenant, but rather his arrest for disrespect to his superior. The battery, nevretheless, was built with the aid of wheelbarrows and sand. Like Jonah's gourd, it sprang up in a night.

Reporters on a "Bender." Immediately after Grant's great victory in the Southwest, three newspaper correspondents, who had been at the scene of

Honesty on the Battlefield. Lieutenant Tinkham was one among the many brave men who were killed at the second battle of Corinth. It appears that Lieutenant Tinkham was not seriously wounded when the rebels took possession of that part of the field where he fell, but was only shot through the leg; and as the Union boys were contesting the advance of the enemy with desperate bravery, Lieutenant Tinkham raised himself upon his elbow to see the fighting, when another leaden messenger pierced his body, and he fell to the ground again. Seeing that he

He gave

it

up.

soon must be numbered among the slain, go well with him besides. and that his life blood was fast flowing On his release, he found in the prison out, he made some sign to a passing rebel office the sum of one thousand eight hun-which was said to be a Masonic sign of dred and twenty dollars, in Confederate recognition-who immediately came to money, ready for him, as the return of Tinkham's side, and rendered him all the his own which had been promised him. assistance in his power. Just before the He "couldn't see it." He said to the Lieutenant expired, he handed the rebel Quartermaster that he would rather have his watch and some money, with the in- his own money. He was replied to that struction to forward it to his family the Federal money was not currency in that first opportunity he had,—and in a few region, and he could not be allowed to moments after saying this he expired. take it. "Why," retorted Lieutenant The rebel now pinned a small piece of McFadden, "I read in the Whig of this paper on Tinkham's coat, stating his name city only this morning, that the Yankee and company, and left him. In this con- currency was worthless,-that the treasdition he was found by his company and ury was bankrupt; and, if it is, why may by them buried. Time rolled on, and on I not as well have my own money, espethe fourth of July, 1863, thirty-five thou- cially as I had rather have it? The offisand rebels surrendered to the victorious cer replied that he wanted " no words Federal army at Vicksburg, and among about it." But," persisted McFadden, that vast multitude was to be found Lieu-"if my money is no currency here, it can't tenant Tinkham's rebel friend-all honor do you any good, and if yours is worth to him eagerly searching for the Four- anything it will do you some good, and I teenth Wisconsin regiment. This he at am willing to take my little pile instead last discovered, and, safely delivering the of your big one; why not make the exwatch and money to one of its members, change?" disappeared among the throng. The articles were duly received by the Lieutenant's friends. What it is to have an honest foe

66

This plain Saxon "poser" was met with the assurance that if he gave any further "lip" he should at once go to a cell and stay there. So he took the "money." The Quartermaster instructed the clerk

Estimate of Confederate Promises-to-Pay, to count it.

Down South.

Lieutenant McF. interrupted this rather unnecessary operation with the Lieutenant McFadden, of the Seventy- remark, "I am in a great hurry, Sir, and ninth Indiana, was taken prisoner at Chick- you need not wait to count it-a few hunamauga, and, at Richmond, confined in dred dollars more or less will make no Libby prison. He survived starvation difference." This came near sending him rations, and after. his release gave an ac- back to prison whether or no, but he count of his amusing experiences, finan- managed to avoid the peril and get out cially, relative to the rebellion. When cap- to find that a hackman refused to carry tured he had two hundred and sixty dol- him to the boat, about a quarter of a mile lars in greenbacks, concealed, which he from the prison, for one hundred dollars hoped to be able to keep. But the rebels of his rebel money. This fact, as well as either heard of it or suspected it, and made the more significant one that the Governhim give it up. They assured him that if ment officials themselves gave seven dolhe gave it up readily it should be restored lars of their money for one of the Federal to him on his release, but if he refused, greenbacks, as the legal-or at least the and compelled a search, he would lose it officially recognized-difference, shows entirely, and find that things would not that if the Confederacy had not itself

gone under," its currency was certainly | about at that point.

General Bragg (sitting near)-" Colonel Brent, see that the lady's claim is settled immediately!"

The Newsboy and his Officer Customer. At a time when the war news was His Discharge Confirmed by Heaven. rather scarce, and the Washington newsboys were slightly 'stuck' on their merA solid shot is the most deceptive of chandise, one of them planted himself by projectiles. It may seem to move lazily the Metropolitan Hotel entrance and shout--to be almost dead,-but, so long as it ed, "Extra STAR-Great battle in Ala- moves at all, it should be allowed a wide bama!" so lustily that he speedily found berth. Just before one of the battles in a shoulder-strapped customer, who ran his the Southwest, an artilleryman received eye eagerly over the columns for that his discharge for disability, but delaying, 'battle in Alabama.' He didn't find it, for some reason, his Northward journey, and called out, "You little rascal, I can't he was yet with his battery on the eve of see any battle!" "No," answered the an engagement,-and, true to his instincts, boy, as he widened the gap between himself and the officer, "I reckon you don't, and you never will see one if you loaf

Settling a Claim.

took his old place beside the horse, and was just preparing to mount, when a solid shot came ricocheting across the field, bounded up, and struck him in the lower part of the body. Crying out, "I've got the first ticket, boys!" the poor fellow sank down, and only added, with that strange dread of a little hurt a terribly wounded man always seems to feel, "lay me down by a tree where they won't run over me." They complied with his request, hastened into position, and saw him The wounded man's discharge was confirmed by Heaven. Now, that fatal ball, when, having finished its work there, it leaped lazily on, pushed out the skirt of the artillerist's coat as a hand would move a curtain, without rending it!

no more.

Style of Clearing off a Table by General
Butler.

Every lady reader knows or should know-how to "clear off a table;" in either case, General Butler's style of doing the thing will be found more interestOld Lady-"Well, you see, Mister, I ing than instructive. A newspaper reportlives over where the fitin' was, and when er had need one day to call upon General Captain Bragg's company skered the Butler, and gave him occasion for about a Yankees, they ran rite peerst my house-minute to use writing materials and a rite peerst when up comes Captain For- table. General Butler ushered the rerest with his crittur company [cavalry] porter into his sitting-room meanwhile. and makes a line of fight rite through my In the centre of the sitting-room was a yard, and oversets my ash hopper, and table piled with newspapers, pamphlets treadsand books. The General for an instant

99

ran his eye over its area in search of suffi- position in the custom-house of that city— cient room to lay a sheet of note paper. was one of the largest contractors in There was none. What did Butler do Massachusetts for furnishing supplies to but tilt over the table, spill its contents the army. Her contracts for clothing are upon the floor, and then placidly sit down said to have amounted during a single year and do his writing. While he did this, an to half a million dollars, and the total African nimbly removed the conglomerated amount of all her contracts since the comheap of literature. This spontaneous mencement of the war to its third year clearing of the table by the General was was estimated as high as two millions of suggestive of the manner in which Colum- dollars. On one of her contracts she lost bus made the egg stand upon its end, and some money, but on the others realized the incident afforded a clue to the Gener- handsome profits. al's whole character. While others are thinking about doing a thing, he does it. The man who buys him for a fool gets a shocking bad bargain.

Smuggling "the critter" into Camp. The smuggling of liquors into the Union camps of the Potomac army was carried on very ingeniously and to a very great extent. It was ascertained—and this was but one of the many cute devices resorted to-that parties engaged in bringing liquid offal from the camps in the vicinity of Alexandria, conveyed enormous quantities of liquor across the Potomac, by constructing their tubs with false bottoms-one for the liquor and one for the offal. This little trick was at last exposed by a man engaged in the legitimate part of the business, the offal,—who feared that if the officials should discover the guilty, that all would be adjudged so, and that, in that way, he would be deprived of the lucrative profits which he was then realizing. Another mode of getting liquor to the soldiers on the opposite side of the Potomac was more difficult of prevention. Large numbers of jugs, filled with villainous whisky, were carried across the river in true submarine style. Parties had a small wire, coiled on a tackle, by which means they drew bottles and jugs of the "critter" across, realizing enormous profits in their sale.

Female Government Contractor.

The business of this lady having led her to visit Beaufort, she there saw neglected opportunities for speculation, which she improved to even more advantage than her government contracts. She established two wholesale and retail stores at or near Beaufort and Morehead City, then came back to Boston, and contracted for the materials and machinery of a steam saw mill, the erection of which was carried on under her direction or superintendence, and the mill was soon ready to saw the logs which two hundred contrabands had been cutting for her in the pine forests of North Carolina.

This lady possessed the advantage of being well educated, moving in the best circles of society, and joining with her admirable self-reliance, a sound judgment. She will probably finally retire with an ample fortune.

Beef Steak and Hot Rolls Every Morning.

Colonel Leve, of the Eleventh Kentucky Cavalry, relates the following conversation which took place between one of the Union and a rebel picket, in Tennessee, showing on which side the 'grub' preponderated.

"Hallo there, Yank, have you got a chew o' tobacco?"

"Yeas-lay down your shootin' iron and I will mine, and will meet you half way."

The next moment they were together,

A married lady residing in the neighbor- in earnest conversation, sitting on the hood of Boston-her husband holding a ground as socially as any two friends.