boat was nearing the "Doctor's" landing, Confederates, for carrying on trade under and the Major was looking in vain for any pretext of being a flag-of-truce boat. It appearance of village, or house even, was very wrong, very; and if I had which could give rise to the name of "Ma- known it before leaving the Rip-Raps, I cox's Landing"-his point of destination should have seized your coffee and sugar, or induce any boat to stop in such a and left you in prison until further orders. wilderness, when the steward approached But, in consideration of our mistake, and with a scared look, saying,as most of the contraband articles have been consumed, and as we are within a quarter of a mile of your landing-place, I will not be too severe upon you. You can keep what remains, enough now to last your family some weeks, and I will let you take them ashore."

66

"I beg pardon, Major, but we're in a of a scrape about that coffee and sugar." Indeed," said the Major, "what is the matter? Were they bad? Wasn't there enough of them for all hands?"

"Oh, yes, Sir, there was enough; but we've eaten them pretty nearly all up; and, Major, they didn't belong to us at all,

they wa'n't Government property, Sir; they all belonged to the "Doctor," and he's found it out, and is swearing like the -, like a pirate about it."

"Is that all, Steward?" said the Major, after a hearty laugh at such a panic.

"All! Major; yes, Major, that's all. But what shall I do about it?" He's awfully mad, and threatens all sorts of

"Ask the Doctor' to come up on the hurricane deck, and speak to me, Steward. I think I can pacify him."

He went, and presently returned with the angry "Doctor," who did not, however, exhibit any signs of passion in this stage of the adventure.

"Ah, Doctor," said the Major, "I am sorry to learn that you have forgotten what

is due to a flag of truce, and have exposed wrapped; and opening it, held up a scrap yourself to the risk of further imprison- of a leaf from a memorandum book. It ment, and us to the danger of being treat- had bloody finger-prints on it, and a few ed as culprits, and possibly shot by the words hastily written with a pencil. The

writer was the soldier's partner, he said. [not shared by any of his associates, reIn the charge on Kenesaw, he found him marked to the landlord that it was "a pity" staggering back from the line, the blood to consume so much of his property withstreaming from his mouth, and covering out any compensation, and that if no one his hands and clothes. A Minie ball had else would extend justice to him, he would cut off his tongue at the root. He tried--at the same time throwing on the barto speak, but could not. Finally, by mo- counter a bill of the denomination of twentions, he made his partner understand his ty dollars. want-paper and pencil. A scrap was torn from the diary, and on it the boy, held up by his comrade, with fingers dripping with blood, and trembling in death,

wrote

"Father, meet me in heaven."

"There," said the magnanimous rebel chieftain, "my good fellow, take that as my share of our indebtedness."

"Vot kind of monish is dat?" inquired the landlord, one of the class of Pennsylvanian Germans so proverbial alike for

He tried to write his name, but it was sagacity and integrity. too late. Life had fled.

Dutch Landlord's Use of Greyback Twenties.

During General Lee's summer invasion of Pennsylvania, a detachment of the rebel army had possession for a few days of the thriving town of Hanover, in the county of York, lying some twenty or more miles west of Gettysburg. Apprised of their coming, the merchants and business men of the town mostly placed their movable goods safely out of the reach of the pilferers. They secured but little booty. What they did lay their hands on, however, they did not fail to bag.

"That, Sir, is a greyback; in other words, a note of the Confederate States of America."

"O, stranger," said the hotel keeper, "if you hash not got no petter monish dan dat, you'll better keeps it. I don't vont none of it; it is good for nix; no petter dan plank paper!"

"Sir!" rejoined the somewhat indignant epauletted Georgian, "I advise you to take it and be glad for the opportunity. You will soon find that it is the best money in the world. Keep it, Sir, keep it, by all means."

"Nein, nein," retorted mynheer of the Among the heaviest losers was one of swinging sign; "dat monish will never be the landlords of the town, the proprietor wort anything here nor anywhere. I would of a well-stocked and well-conducted coun- not give von silver thaler for a bread try tavern. At his house the hungry basket full. I von't be seen mit it in my, rebels made themselves well "at home." hand; and if you don't take it along, I Without leave or license, they devoured rolls it up, holds it at the candle, un lites his stock of bacon, beef and poultry; con- my pipe mit it.” sumed all his flour, which they forced the landlady to bake into bread and pies; used his forage, occupied his beds, and, of course, used up every drop of his stock of liquors. Of this latter, before they came, he had ten or a dozen barrels when they left, not so many pints; for, what they could not guzzle on the spot, they contrived to take along.

He was about suiting the action to the word, when the Georgian took the note up from the counter and returned it to his wallet.

Uncle Sam's Mule Cleaners.

One of General Nelson's teamsters-a green hand-gloried in the charge of six large, shaggy mules. John was also the As they were about taking their depar- proprietor of two bottles of 'Old Bourbon' ture for Gettysburg, a Georgia Colonel, a contraband article in camp-which a exhibiting a degree of conscientiousness wag discovered, and resolved to possess.

Being well aware that the driver's presence was a very natural impediment to such a theft, he hit upon the following plan to get rid of him: Approaching the driver, who was just then busy currying his mules, he accosted him with

a square off; "you are the fellow hired by Uncle Sam to clean mules, and I won't have any foolishness. Clean them mules, and I'll give you a drink of busthead."

"You infernal villain!" exclaimed the General, now perfectly furious, "I am

"I say, old fellow, what are you doing General Nelson, commander of this Divisthere?" ion!"

"Can't you see?" replied John, gruffly. John here placed the thumb of his right "Certainly," responded wag, "but that hand against his nose, and extending his is not your business. It is after tattoo, and four digits, waved and twirled them slowthere is a fellow hired here, by the Generally, in a manner supposed by some to be who curries all the mules and horses brought equivalent to the expression, "How are in after tattoo." you old fellow?" The General's sword leaped from its scabbard, and John sprang from the tent just in time to save his head.

The mule-driver bit at once, and desired to know where the hair-dresser kept himself. Whereupon he was directed to General Nelson's tent, with the assurance that there was where the fellow "hung out." "You can't mistake the man," said wag, "he is a large fellow, and puts on a thundering sight of airs for a man in his busi

ness.

He will probably refuse to do it, and tell you to go to the ; but don't mind that, he has been drinking to-day. Make him come out, sure."

It would be needless to add that the boys drank the "big mule driver's health" in Old Bourbon, and quite as needless to state the source whence said Bourbon was derived.

Wicked Joke upon a Regimental Postmaster. There was a joke-though possibly a wicked one perpetrated on a certain John posted off, and entering the tent Chaplain in the army, which ought not to where our Napoleon of the Fourth Division be lost to the clerical portion of the world. sat in deep reverie, probably considering It was the Chaplain's business to look after the most expeditious method of expelling

the rebel Buckner from his native State, slapped him on the back with a force sufficient to annihilate a man of ordinary size. Springing to his feet, the General, power'ful and spirited, accosted his uninvited guest with

"Well, Sir, who are you, and what the do you want?"

"Old hoss, I've got a job for you nowsix mules to be curried, and right off, too," said the Captain of the mules, nothing daunted at the flashing eye of the General which was turned at him and pierced him through.

"Do you know whom you are addressing, Sir?" asked the indignant command

er.

"Yes," said John, elevating his voice to the regimental mail. This Chaplain, howa pitch which rendered the words audible ever, had been annoyed exceedingly by the

great number of warriors who were con-
stantly running to him and inquiring about
the arrival and departure of mails. To
save time and patience, the testy official
at last posted a notice outside his tent,
which read: "The Chaplain does not
know when the mail
will go," and with this
he imagined his
troubles at an end.
The reverend post-
master was absent
from the camp that
day, and on return-
ing and glancing at
his notice, was horri-
fied to see there con-
spicuously written
upon his own door,
read by multitudes
during the day, in a
hand exactly counter-
feiting his, following
the words "THE
CHAPLAIN DOES NOT

KNOW WHEN THE MAIL WILL GO," this
addition by some honest wretch: "NEITHER
DOES HE CARE A DAMN." It was a case
of depravity the obliging and godly man
was unprepared for,-but perhaps he and
his warriors were now "quits."

coming up from the village whistling Yankee Doodle, when out came one of old Farrell's geese, and hearing the tune I was whistling, commenced hissing. I couldn't stand that, and so I up and knocked it over. Well, as I found I had 'accidentally, killed it, I thought that like as not a detail would be ordered out in the morning to bury offal, and I thought I might as well, being right on the spot, bring the goose up to camp and have it handy."

The Captain could hardly "see it;"

Swearing-in a Cook for the First Iowa

The secesh farmers, in a well-known locality in Maryland, raised a great outcry, while the Fifth Excelsior Regiment was camping near by, about a few chick- nevertheless, Farrell never got paid for ens which had been missed from their that goose. poultry yards. Stringent orders were accordingly issued against foraging. Still, now and then an unlucky fowl would find its way into the mess kitchen, but nobody The master of a fugitive slave appeared could account for its presence there. At at Camp Benton, St. Louis, to recover him, last an unlucky wight was caught in the when he was ordered off by a corporal of very act of bearing a goose into camp. the First Iowa Cavalry. So, soon as he He was brought to the Captain of his com- was gone, the negro appeared from under pany, who in tones of severity demanded a bundle of sacks in one corner of the

Cavalry.

corporal's quarters. Innumerable ques-gro, as he darted forward and grasped the tions were being propounded to him, when envelope with a firmer clutch; when corthe corporal advanced, and the following poral continuedcolloquy ensued, as given by a writer

the direction that would be given to the war is over, you'll make tracks for Africa coffee-grounds for the future.