PART FIFTH: ANECDOTES OF THE REBELLION-MILITARY ORGANIZATION AND EQUIPMENT, DISCIPLINE, DRILL AND PARADE, REVEILLE, REVIEWS, ORDNANCE, PASSES, PAROLES, FURLOUGHS, COUNTERSIGNS, ETC. MUSTERING IN; SPLENDID SPECIMENS OF SOLDIERLY MOVEMENT; DEXTEROUS HANDLING OF ARMS; EVOLUTIONS, COMICAL AND PIQUANT; QUEER DILEMMAS; UNCOUTH SUBJECTS AND VERDANT VICTIMS; GROTESQUE PERFORMANCES; NOVEL TERMS AND PHRASEOLOGY; BIVOUAC SIGHTS; TASKS AND PLEASANTRIES, MISTAKES, JOCULARITIES, FACETIE, &C., &c. "Twenty millions held at Bay! Why, Northmen, why? Haman's gallows ought to be the fate of all such ambitious men who would involve their country in civil war, and all the evils in its train, that they might reign and ride on its whirlwinds and direct the storm.-ANDREW JACKSON. That's right, boys! make your coffee, break the orders, and-catch the shells.-GENERAL ROSECRANS. I feel that I was born for something better than mending old clothes.-BURNSIDE, when a tailor's apprentice. I don't care a; if McClellan himself was here without the countersign, he should mark time till the corporal comes. Quick time; march!-Soldier on guard at Camp Joe Holt, to GEN. NELSON. Challenging the Sentinel. lar man, and insisted that every thing was the custom of should be done exactly right. So, after the Colonel of the spending considerable time in the endeavor Eighty-fifth Pennsyl- to impress the 'role' upon the mind of the vania Volunteers, to sentinel, suggested that he would act as make the rounds eve- sentinel while the other should personate ry night in person, the Colonel. Blinky'-for such was this and satisfy himself soldier's surname in the regiment-moved that every sentinel back a few paces and then turned to apwas at his post and proach the Colonel. "Who comes there?" doing his duty. On challenged the Colonel. one occasion, while in the discharge of that self-imposed duty, he approached a post, and received the challenge as usual, "Who comes there?" "Friend with the countersign," was the Colonel's reply. Here the poor sentinel was at a loss. The rest of his instructions had been forgotten. The Colonel was a very particu "Why, Blinky; don't you know me, Colonel?" This was too much for even so patient and forbearing a man as Colonel Howell. "As green as verdigris," thought he. The gun was handed over, and the Colonel passed on to the next post, meditating upon the vanity of all earthly things in general, and of things military in particular. "Mark Time!"—General Nelson in a Fix. | Corporal of the Guard No. 1," cocking his The following story is told of the late piece. General Nelson, of Kentucky. Occasion "You fool, I'll have you punally some of the shrewd privates would ished like," replied the General, comget and use an opportunity to cut the mencing to mark time slowly. (He was feathers of pompous officers, which always a bad swearer.) afforded merriment to the whole camp. In "I don't care a ; if McClellan was here without the countersign, he should mark time till the Corporal comes. Quick time, march." "Let me rest," said Nelson, swearing and sweating. "No Siree; mark time," was the inexorable reply. By this time the news had spread like wildfire through the camp, that one of the guards had Nelson out at Post No. 1, marking time, and half of the regiment was collected on that side, enjoying the joke hugely. The Corporal was very slow in coming, and every time Nelson would slacken speed, the guard would cock his gun and command, " Mark time." There was a dreadful crash of oaths just around there, the atmosphere was black and blue with them. The above are but faint samples. By the arrival of the Corporal, the General's rage had so far subsided, that or I he, too, began to enjoy the humorous side This Sentry Encounter with a Regular. When Sherman's famous Battery passed fact, officers who clothe themselves with "Halt! who comes there?" says the guard. "I am General Nelson, commanding this army." "I don't care a-; mark time, march. General Sherman. He was taken to the guardhouse, and thence to the hospital. The poisonous liquor made him nearly mad. On getting well, he swore, first that he would never again try to stop a "regular;" and, second, that he would never touch Perryville whiskey again; third, that he would give Sherman's artillerymen a specially wide berth. through Perryville, one of the soldiers, found the sentry in a condition not easily while the horses were feeding, went into a described. tavern outside the camp limits, and filled his canteen with the villainous mixture of camphene and strychnine, which is called "whiskey." In coming back within the limits, the sentry challenged him, and put a firmly held musket across his path, to bar his progress. With a quick motion the artilleryman grasped the musket barrel, closed with the astonished sentry, and before he could recover from his stupefaction, grasped him tightly by the throat. His useless musket dropped from his nerveless hand. The artilleryman, still holding him by the throat with his left hand, drew from his girdle a long and sharp knife, which glittered in the light of the distant watchfire before the eyes of the terrified sentry. The latter sank upon his knees in a paroxysm of He would have begged for mercy but he could not speak. Suddenly the artilleryman hurled him from him, caught up his gun, and brought it to a charge. terror. 66 Now, you rascal," said he to the trembling sentry, "listen to me. I am a regular-mind, a regular. Now, don't you go for to stop a regular agin. Regulars never stop. In the bright lexicon of a regular's vocabulary, there's no such word as stop. Regulars is on the go all the time. They go with the password, and they goes without the password; passwords is nothin' to them, and they is nothin' to passwords. My friend, (in a softer tone,) take yer gun. The night is dark, the air is chill. Take some," (pouring from his canteen into a tin cup.) Sentry's Encounter with a Regular. Putting him through the Discipline. One summer's day, about one o'clock, a long, gaunt, bony man, with a queer admixture of the comical and doleful in his countenance, that fairly reminded one of a professional undertaker cracking a dry joke, undertook to reach General Grant's tent, by scrambling promiscuously through a hedgerow and coming in the back way alone. He was stopped in his venturesome career, however, by one of the hostlers, who cried out to some purpose," Keep out o' here!" The individual in black replied that he thought General Grant would allow him inside, and strode ahead. 'You'll soon find out," was yelled in reply. On reaching the guard, who very naturally took him to be one of the Sanitary or Christian Commission folks, he was when the relief guard came around, they stopped instanter with "What is it?" faltered the sentry. "Water, you lobster, you; or more properly, whiskey and water." The sentry took a long and deep draught, and the regular passed on. Soon after, "No sanitary folks allowed inside." After some parleying, of the usual character, the intruder was compelled, hit or miss, to give his name, and at last did so, announcing himself as "Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States, desiring an interview with General Grant." The guard saluted the Commander-inChief, and allowed him to pass. head-quarters one day, and without any ceremony fired his gun almost in the face of the General himself. "What?" says the General; "Do you not know the penalty of firing your gun without orders to do so?" "Why, no, sir!" says Slick, very innocently. "Well," replied the General, "I will tell you. It is the loss of a month's pay." "You don't say so!" says Slick, and very coolly puts his hand in his pocket and draws therefrom an old greasy wallet, opens it, and offers the General thirteen dollars in greenbacks, saying, "Well, General, I guess I am able to stand the pres General Grant recognized him as he stepped under the large "fly" in front of his tent, rose and shook hands with him cordially, and then introduced him to such members of his staff as were present and unacquainted. The President had just arrived on the City of Baltimore, and was accompanied by his son Tad,' Assistant sure!" Secretary of the Navy-Fox, Mr. Chadwick, proprietor of Willard's Hotel, and a marine guard. No one relished the little affair with the guard more keenly than the amiable President. Sold! Soldiers are, it is well known, averse to the drill, and yet dislike to work still more. During the siege of Corinth it became necessary to go some ten miles over the worst of roads to Pittsburg Landing, to draw forage and provisions, and many were the expedients resorted to by the boys to escape the hard task. One morning at roll-call the Lieutenant said, "Any of the boys who would like a drill, step to the front." Not many came forward. "Now, you rear rank men, each take a horse, go to the Landing, and bring back a sack of oats. The boys acknowledged that they were flatly 'sold,' but ever afterwards volunteers for drill were more numerous than scarce. It is needless to say that the General discontinued the conversation immediately. Slick was not fined. Halting Effect of "the Ardent." During the winter campaign in Tennessee, as C. S. Beath, quartermaster-sergeant of the One Hundred and Seventeenth Illinois, was passing along one of the principal streets in Memphis, he saw a soldier coming toward him struggling with the Halting effect of the Ardent. Paying his Penalty, Cash Down. "Slick" was known as a case in Company I, and was familiarly called by the spirit within him. Just in advance of Sersobriquet in question, when the army was geant B. was a "freeman of African deat Murfreesboro'. scent." The soldier saw him coming, and Slick was passing General Johnson's with some difficulty managed to ejaculate "Halt!" Darkey didn't heed his author- no one will ever suspect Henry (as he ity, and marched ahead. The soldier speaks of himself in his pulpit) of thwartsquared himself, and as the darkey was ing Secretary Chase in his laudable efforts passing made a dive at him; but the darkey, aided by the soldier's inward foe, easily dodged the blow, and the soldier plunged over the curbing into the gutter, his head striking first. As soon as he could recover his speech he said, "There, now; lie there. I g-g-guess y-y-you'll h-h-halt the next time I tell you to!" Stuttering when on Guard-Duty. When Colonel Daniel M'Cook's regiment was lying at Camp Dennison, a brawny recruit from one of the Eastern counties, who stuttered badly, was put on guard-duty for the first time. A citizen attempted to pass the line. Recruit yelled out, "H-h-h-alt!" Secretary Chase. Governor Yates giving Grant a Desk in his The citizen, who either did not understand to prevent arms from passing through any him or paid no attention, when the sentinel custom-house, en route to Davisdom. carefully laid his bright " Springfield" upon the ground, and knocked the intruder down, saying, in his stuttering way, "There, now, mind the next time. If I ain't much with the frog-sticker, yet I'm heavy with the fist." Office. Soon after Grant's first application to Governor Yates for a commission in the army, which was declined on account of there being no vacancy at that time, the Mr. Beecher's Case of Muskets for the South. Governor was very much distressed in Among the passengers by the steamship regard to the raising of the quota of Asia from England, was the Rev. Henry the State. He had plenty of offers Ward Beecher, just returned from his so- for officers' positions, but he personally journ in the land of "Neutrality." The did not know the minutiae of regimental steamer stopped at Halifax, Nova Scotia, organization,-how many men composed a and there landed a portion of her cargo. Mr. Beecher, who had just come on shore, and was stretching his legs by a walk on the pier, seeing that the first case of goods came hard, with characteristic impulse volunteered a helping hand. The force of his additional muscle-which is 'some' -quickly brought the case bang upon the wharf. He stood aghast, however, to find, as he and his friends gathered around to examine it, that he had lent a hand to land a case of muskets intended for the Southern Confederacy. A Boston paper is responsible for this story-which, at all events, is too good not to be true, though company, or how many subordinate officers there should be in a regiment. In his distress, he asked the Representative of the plain little man to whom he had been introduced, if he knew any of these matters. The Representative replied by bringing Grant into the presence of the Governor. "Do you understand the organization of troops?" inquired the Governor of Grant. "I do, Sir." "Will you accept a desk in my office for that purpose?" "Anything to serve my country," was Grant's reply. |