hearty, and an alien-just what he wanted, and moreover named Stander—a good name, under the circumstances.

The agent did all the business for S., made his own bargain with Stander, and received from S. four hundred dollars in cash. How much of this the substitute was to receive was a secret between him and the agent.

Rebuff to à Trafficker in Exemption Papers. At Plattsburgh, New York, while the drafting was going on, a man of no very great loyal pretensions called on a widow and informed her that her only son was drafted, and then hastened to assure her that he could secure his exemption if she would certify that she was a widow, and that he was her only son, upon whom she S. was delighted. He took possession made her dependence for support. The of his substitute and started in the first patriotic lady made the following Spartan train for Putnam County; but before he reply to the mercenary: "I can certify to reached the Provost-Marshal's office there no such thing. I am not dependent on my was a sergeant of marines after him, who, son for support, and I never expect to be. notwithstanding the remonstrances of S., Besides, I think he ought to go, if he is took him by force of arms, and conveyed able to perform military duty, and so ought him back to New York and to the naval every other able-bodied man, till this rendezvous, where he had already enlisted wicked rebellion is put down. Nothing for the navy. S. was of course disconso- but the necessity of wearing these skirts late. He had lost his substitute, lost his has kept me from going." And the patrifour hundred dollars, and lost sight of the otic trafficker in white-livered merchandize agent who had fleeced him. Neither evaporated.

knew he of his whereabouts, or even his name. All was gone, and he had nothing to do but to cast about for another substitute or go into the ranks himself.

Puzzling a Draft Commissioner.

Commissioner: "Well, young man, have you come to volunteer?"

Applicant-a bright French boy of nineteen: "No, Sir; I'm exempt. I am not a citizen-I am a French subject." (Handing to the Commissioner the certificate of such fact, signed by the French Consul.) Commissioner: "You speak English well. Where were you born?" Applicant: "In New York, Sir." Commissioner: "Then you are an Amercitizen."

Cause for Rejecting a Recruit. One of the recruiting agents in the city of New York carried a finely proportioned man to the surgeon for examination, telling the man to return to the ward room as soon as he had been passed. In due time the man arrived at official head-quarters, bringing his own rejection. There was indignation among the recruiting committee, who immediately began to feel of the musican cles of this really promising specimen of a man, and point out the beauties of his structure. Loud were the complaints and bitter their denunciations of Dr. H-, and what overt act they might have committed it would be impossible to tell, had not a bystander asked the man what cause the Doctor gave for rejecting him. "Well, I believe," calmly replied the man, "that he said I had the itch." The wardroom was clear in a moment-muscle-feelers and all.

Applicant: "No, Sir; I am not."
Commissioner: "Why not?"
Applicant: "My father was naturalized
before I was born."

Commissioner: "Well, what has that to do with making you a French subject?" Applicant: "Why, when he was naturalized, I was not in the country."

Fightin' ober a Bone.

The following dialogue actually took place in war times, between a guest at one

Guest: "Never thought of it? surprised! I supposed all your

I am people

of our metropolitan hotels and a sable age of the "males" of the family. After waiter connected with the establishment: naming several, the old lady stopped. "Is Guest: "Well, Jim, you are going to there no one else?" asked the officer. join a colored regiment at once, I sup-"No," replied the woman, "none, except pose?" Billy Bray." "Billy Bray! where is he?" Jim: "Me, Massa? O no, me nebber" He was at the barn a moment ago," said tink ob it at all." the old lady. Out went the officer, but could not find the man. Coming back, the worthy officer questioned the old lady as to the age of Billy, and went away, after enrolling his name among those to be drafted. The time of the drafting came, and among those on whom the lot fell was the veritable Billy Bray. No one knew him. Where did he live? The officer who enrolled him was called on to produce him; and, lo and behold, Billy Bray was a Jackass (not a human one, like the enroller, but with four genuine legs and ears of the usual length) -regularly recorded on the list of drafted men as forming one of the quota of Maryland.

Complimentary Salutations to his General.

The Thirty-eighth Ohio Regiment once on a time went home as veterans. They obtained many recruits, among whom was a young man recruited in Dayton. He was paid the usual Government and local bounties, dressed out in a suit of blue, and after a good time on furlough, returned to the front. On Saturday his Regiment was

Guest: "Yes, of course; but what has on picket, and our new recruit was put on that to do with it?"

Jim: "Why, don't yer see, Massa? de bone nebber fight; de bone take no part in de conflic'. De Norf an' Souf are de two dogs fightin' ober a bone; we niggers are de bone; we don't take no part in de conflic'!"

Queer Drafting in Maryland.

an outpost, as he was rather a sharp fellow. Soon, however, he was missed, and it was found he had deserted to the enemy. In a short time, nothing more was thought of it. The matter was somewhat revived, however, when, with the flag of truce that subsequently came in, there were brought, among other things, the compliments of Captain

late of Johnson's Island, to GenThe enrolling officer for Salisbury Dis- eral Baird. He was one of the escaped trict, Maryland, was very active and thor- prisoners, who had taken this means of ough in the performance of his duties. again getting among his friends in Dixie. One day he went to the house of a coun- He was also too well posted not to be able tryman, and finding none of the male mem- to give the rebels almost as much valuable bers of the family at home, made inquiry information as they could obtain from a of an old woman about the number and northern newspaper.

Donning the Breeches.
In Clinton county, Ohio, there is a cer-

Indiana Volunteer Ninety-two Years Old. Indiana has accorded to her the honor of furnishing the oldest volunteer of any tain township, Richland, which, at the State in the Union. Mr. Bates, of Pen- opening period or year of the war, had dleton, ninety-two years old, volunteered not, it would seem, raised a very large crop with a company from Madison County, of patriotic young men,-judging from the and went into Camp Morton on Saturday, proceedings of a meeting of irate females full of patriotic fire. Of course he was re- held there to consider the call made upon jected, on account of age. When asked the country for troops. It was stated that why he volunteered, he replied that he not more than two volunteers had been wanted to show the young men that old furnished by the township up to that time, men were not afraid to fight, and expressed his determination to remain with the company, if permitted to do so. Men ninety-two years old are seldom to be found in these days, and especially in a military camp. Mr. Bates is said to be the father of twenty-two children. No wonder that he feels some interest in preserving the nation from destruction.

Deaf and Dumb Soldier.

and the resolutions adopted and the speeches made at the meeting referred to, not only called the patriotism but the courage of the men of Richland in question. So stung were the female population by what they termed the disgraceful and unmasculine spirit manifested by the male population—the young men, especially,—that seven young ladies, determined if possible to retrieve the character of the community and set an example befitting the crisis through which the Connected with the Springfield City country was passing, stepped forward and Guard, Captain Lombard, Tenth regiment requested to have their names then and of Massachusetts volunteers, stationed at there enrolled as volunteers in defence of Camp Brightwood, Virginia, was a deaf the nation. They added, that as soon as mute, named John Donovan, who was a they could be furnished with uniforms, they regularly enlisted soldier, and detailed as would leave their clothing to the young the regimental tailor. He learned the men, who lacked the manliness to defend trade of tailor in Brooklyn, N. Y. He the flag of their country when it was aswent to Springfield, Massachusetts, from sailed. which city he enlisted at the commencement of the rebellion. His infirmity, of course, precluded him from performing the At the time when the Federal troops ordinary military duties of a soldier; and, were quartered at Blue Licks, Kentucky, being employed as the regimental tailor, he the monotony of camp-life was broken by had many leisure moments, which he im- a rather romantic incident. Several reproved by the practice of a natural gift for cruits were coming in daily, and were imdrawing. In that art he was a self-taught mediately sworn into service, but one man, and in it he attained a truly aston- spruce little fellow arriving Sunday evenishing degree of proficiency. An accurate ing, refused to take the oath on the Lord's draft of Camp Brightwood was made by day, wishing to postpone it until next him, and subsequently lithographed. John morning, which modest request was grantwas always spoken of in the highest terms ed. The young recruit sauntered leisurely of praise by the officers of his regiment, around among the men, apparently perfectand, notwithstanding his infirmity, was fully equal, bodily and mentally, to the rank and file of the grand army of the Union.

Recruiting Extraordinary.

ly at home. When the time came to "turn in," he was shown a bed with three or four soldiers in the same room, which he readily accepted. His fellow-lodgers attempted

all bloody, and the bullet hole in his head. At night, when in my dreams, he stands at the entrance. I awake, he is there, pale and bloody, but vanishes as soon as I see him. I could not keep the horrible crime a secret any longer.

to converse, but found him quite silent, have dreaded night, for they are horrible and, observing him kneel for prayer be- nights. When on picket I always see fore retiring, they concluded he was too Dupoy stand a little way front, his face pious for a soldier, but was perhaps to be chaplain. Next morning the surgeon was sent to have a conversation with the recruit before the oath was administered, and he being rather observing than otherwise, concluded, after a short "confab," that the young soldier was a very pretty female. After considerable blushing, she acknowledged the fact, stating that her intended was in the ranks, and that she was determined to accompany him. It seems that "cruel parients,” as usual, were the cause, they having refused to let the young folks marry, and, in the desperation of the moment, the young swain sought the army, and a night or two following, the lovestricken maiden donned a suit of her brother's clothes, and joined her lover at Camp Blue Lick. The Colonel discharged the young Romeo the next morning, and that evening the fortunates were made one.

Pat's Compliments to "Desarters." The following dialogue really took place between Lieutenant A. C. C- -d, then recently of the United States Texan army, and Pat Fletcher, one of the privates of the Second Cavalry at Carlisle, but then near Fort Bliss:

Officer-Well, Pat, ain't you going to follow the General (Twiggs)?

Pat-If Gineral Scott ordhers us to folly him, Sir, begor Toby (Pat's horse) can gallop as well as the best of 'em.

Officer-I mean, won't you leave the abolition army, and join the free South? Pat-Begor, I never enlisted in th' abolition army, and never will. I agreed to sarve Uncle Sam for five years, and the

Why John Rawley became a Substitute. During the battle of Olustee, Florida, Jerome Dupoy, of Company D, Seventh divil a pin mark was made in the contract, C. V., was shot in the back of the head, with my consint, ever since. When my evidently by some one in his own ranks, time is up, if the army is'nt the same as it and suspicion fell upon a substitute for a is now, I won't join it agin. drafted man, named John Rawley, of the Officer-Pat, the "Second" (Cavalry) same company, who had a quarrel with was eighteen months old when you and I Dupoy and been stabbed by him. Ser- joined. The man who raised our gallant geant Broes charged Rawley with the regiment is now the Southern President; crime, when he confessed, and is reported the man who so lately commanded it, is to have made the following statement: now a Southern General. Can you reWell, Sergeant, I did kill Dupoy; he main in it, when they are gone? stabbed me at St. Helena; I swore if ever Pat-Well, you see, the fact of the I got a chance I'd kill him. I had one at matter is, Lieut. C., I ain't much of a Olustee, and I killed him. Nor is he the scholar; I can't argue the question with only man I have killed or caused to die. you, but what would my mother say if I I cut out the entrails of a sailor on a gun- desarted my colors? Oh! the divil a giveboat, since this war begun; and I killed, in I'll ever give in, now, and that's the by stabbing, a man in New York, which end of it. I tried to run away once, after caused me to leave my family and go as a enlistin', but a man wouldn't be missed substitute for a drafted man last Fall. thin. It's quite different now, Lieutenant, But the ghost of Dupoy is the only one and I'm not going to disgrace naither iv that ever troubled me. Since the battle I my countries.

Officer-Do you know that you will have to fire on green Irish colors, in the Southern ranks?

bosom, and his heart sank within him at the prospect. Too poor to pay a substitute, he saw nothing left to him but to be put in the front and fight, perhaps die, just as life was blooming into the brightness of springtime. Under these circumstances, the notification above referred to, brought sunshine back to the young and despondent couple. But the strangest point in all this experience was yet to be developed-one, too, partaking largely of -n the man that relies on the romantic. Two days after the examination of the young man, at about the

Pat-And won't you have to fire on them colors, (pointing to the flag at Fort Bliss,) that yerself and five of us licked nineteen rangers under? Sure, it isn't a greater shame for an Irishman to fire on Irish colors, than for an American to fire on American colors. An' th' oath'll be on my side, you know, Lieutenant.

Officer-DPaddies, I say.

Pat-The same compliments to desar-hour of nine, a carriage drove up to the ters, your honor.

door of his residence, and the driver placed
the following note in the hero's hands:
"OCTOBER 21, 1864.
"Come with the bearer of this.
ing friend wishes to see you.
or you may be too late."

A dyBe quick,

L. G."

Worse than being Drafted. One of the earliest names drawn in the South District of St Louis, Missouri, for the war, in the draft of 1864, was that of George R. B-, a young man who had recently commenced business in the city, Bidding his wife adieu, telling her busiand who not long before had married a ness called him away for a short time, he very respectable young lady. At noon stepped into the carriage, and after driving on the day of the publication of the list for near half an hour, stopped in front of a of drafted men, in which his name ap- comfortable-looking cottage in the suburbs. peared, he received notice from a substi- In a few moments he was ushered into a tute agent, that he-the agent-had eight room in which was every evidence of a hundred dollars in hand with which a sub-tasteful but modest luxury. On a low stitute was to be procured. This seem- couch in the centre of the room lay an ingly eccentric proceeding was no cause emaciated woman, of perhaps forty years of surprise to the young man, inasmuch as of age, who, roused from an unrestful doze, he had from his very cradle been the re-opened her languid eyes and looked upon cipient of bounties from an unknown the young man as he neared her. A wild, source, having been left an orphan by the ravages of the cholera in 1848, and placed in one of the benevolent institutions of the city. He was put in the best schools as soon as he arrived at a proper age, and ever since he had been supplied with a sufficiency of means, the institution which had guarded his infancy being the trustee of the funds. to hope for God's forgiveness, I have sent Since commencing business he had been for you to-night to see you, and let you able to live independently, and whatever know the mystery and history of your life. sums he was informed were placed to his Father who is here, will tell you credit at his alma mater he generously all. I have supported you all your life, donated to the charity fund. But when and to me you are indebted for your exhe was drafted his hopes of the future be-emption from the draft. All I ask is, that came clouded. His wife wept upon his you will not curse the memory of your

peculiar expression lit up her countenance, and she seemed deeply affected. But the interview was short, for her strength was fast failing. Said she:

"George, I am dying. You are my son. I have been wicked, but suffering has purified me; and because I am worthy