Gottlieb Klobbergoss on the Draft.

I dink muchs about de war und de draft, und de rebils, und all about dese dings. I dinks about 'em more as about anyding else. Sometimes I sets mits myself all

we courted the society of the Muses, and many a glad hour have we passed writing for each other. He was everything to me! Many friends are very, very dear, but none can fill his place! IT IS VACANT NOW. It was a beautiful summer evening, day on de front stoop, und schmokes, und nearly midnight; the moon sailed majes- drinks hard cider, und does noting else tically overhead, and seemed to look laugh- only drink; den my vife she gifs me de ingly down upon us, as, arm in arm, we teufel for drinkin so much, und ses I vas wended our way home from spending the petter go und see atter Jacop, our hired evening with a friend; but my heart was man, und not bodder my head mit more as very heavy, for the call for six hundred I can understood. But I tells her what thousand more soldiers had just been shall vomens know about war? better she made, and we had been speaking of a goes und mindts her own piseness. I draft. My only brother is not a Christian, drubles myself more about Abraham as and it lay heavy on my heart that perhaps about Jacop. he might be taken from us, and die without hope. I said some such words, and he (I cannot write the familiar name yet), drew me closer to him, and said earnestly, "If the draft comes, I will go instead of Ben."

The draft did not come, for bravely, and of their own free wills, the sons of New Jersey responded to the call of their President, and hundreds left their pleasant homes to go forth boldly and fight the battles of their country. Oh, methinks I can still see his proud, elastic step; still feel the pressure of his warm hand as we said our last good-bye; still see the dear form as he rose in the stern of the boat to call it yet once more to the sad little group on the shore; still see the boat dwindling in the mist as it bears him away from me forever -the gift I gave my country! O, Fredericksburg! thou that didst drink the blood of my cherished one!

Ven I gits tired mit drinkin on my own stoop, I goes down to Hans Butterfoos's tavern, und I drinks dere, und I tells my obinion, und some oder one tells his obinion, und we makes him out togedder, De oder day begins de draft. Dat bodders me agin. Some goes in for de draft, mostly dem as is too olt, and von't be took demself; some goes agin de draft; und some don't know vich vay to goes, but ony goes roundt und roundt, und gits boddered like dam so as I do.

But, nefer mind, I dinks I must find dis ding out, und down I goes to Hans Butterfoos und hears de fellers blo. I don't make notin mit dat; dey all blos some uder vay, und I don't dink dey hef him rite in dere own mind to. So I begins und asks a questchun; und I ses to Bill Puffenshtock:

"Vot you dinks von de draft, dat it is rite?"

And ses Bill: "No, I dinks et ain't

Vell, I don't believes him, caus he sheated me vonce mit a plind mare he sells on me. So I dries agin und shpeaks mit Fritz Hoerkenshplicer.

They have laid him to rest near Falmouth; but he is not there. Sometimes rite." in the shadowy twilight, I feel him near me, and he seems to whisper sweet thoughts of another meeting. I can not see him, but I feel his presence. When I speak his name it dies in a hollow echo; but I know he hears it, and will some day answer My gift to my country-I gave thee freely! Heaven has accepted the sacrifice! We'll meet again—ah, yes!

"Vot you dinks von de draft, Frith, ef it's rite or not?"

And Fritz, he ses, dat he "Dinks it is shust so as it ought to be."

But I don't believes him neder, 'cause

he run'd aginst me last year for de peace | him dam, you petter had believe; but ef of shustice, und dey makes him de peace I goes to Richmond, may be Sheff Davis -dat is de shustice. Und he is no more gifs me dam. So onyhow, I shtays home. good for shquire as my old cat. So I gifs De oder day, my Shorge he comes back up askin somebody, und makes him out mit a furlow. He is so much a corporal myself. I dinks in dis shtyle; de reason as ever he vas, und I shpeaks mit him dey go mid de draft, is becos dey want about dese dings, und I gifs you now what sojers. Ef dey don't git no sojers den he ses: dey can't bring on de war. Ef dey don't bring on de war den dey don't licks de rebils. Ef dey don't licks de rebils, den de rebels licks dem. Ef de rebils licks dem den we all go to ter tuyfel. Dat's pooty straight. So much.

GOTTLIEB KLOBBERGOSS.

Quid Pro Quo.

He

Before the close of the "peace" inter

"Shorge," I asks him, "you've bin mit de rebils und mit de army, und mit Olt Abe, und dese fellers; vat you dinks von dis draft dat all de beeples blos about?" Und he ses to me, "Oh, tunder!" Well, dats his obinions. May be he Now I must dink of some more; vot is shall know somedings to. He's pooty de next ding? I dink dat's all rite; but shmart sence he goes for a sojer. now I shtops, someding else comes doe. shwears like a man shix foots high, und Let me sees. Oh, yes; dry hunderd tol- calls mudder "olt voman," und he calls me lars-dat's de ding-dey all blos about "cap," and he kisses de ghals, and he calls de dry hunderd tollars. I dinks so my- Jacop "dam phool." I dinks he gits some self. Dry hunderd tollars don't licks de high offis before de war is gone. ribils no more as dry hunderd cenths. Vot's de goot mit tollars? Petter a good. shmart sojer, like my Shorge, he licks de rebils more tan shix hunderd tollars, yes. Now, I know more as Bill Puffershtock view between President Lincoln and the und Fritz Hoekenshplicer, both togedder. three Richmond Commissioners, in FebWe want de sojers, not de tollars. Dat's ruary, 1865, "Vice President" Stephens where de bodder is. We pooty soon spoke to President Lincoln on the subject makes money enuff; but paper sojers is of the exchange of prisoners, and asked ony goot mit wooden guns, so when de him what was proposed to be done in the draft comes und ven men ses, "here is dry matter. The President replied that every hunderd tollars," I shtays behindt und thing connected with that subject had dont fight de rebils, den if I was de draft been confided to the care of General I takes dat man by his preeches und I ses, Grant, and that all information must come "Go to ter tuyfel mit your tollars und from him, through the regularly estabcome along mit me like some oder man as lished channels of communication. has got no tollars und don't like to go so- Stephens then said he had a favor to ask jerin so bad as not you do," den pooty of Mr. Lincoln, and which, if he could soon I gits so much as I vants; dat's my grant, he would esteem a personal obligaideas. I tells my olt voman, if dey drafts tion. The President, of course, inquired me I goes myself. To be sure, I don't what the favor was. Mr. Stephens said dink dey will, 'cause I am more as feefty it was in reference to a nephew of his who years; but nefer mindt. I should go a had been taken prisoner some time ago, long while, like my Shorge, ony deres two and still continued in the North. His dedings I don't like, und one is de marshin sire was to have him released. und de oder is de fitin. I sooner marshes down to Hans Butterfoos und fites dere. Ef Sheff Davis comes dere on me, I gifs to do that; but I will give you a note to

Mr.

"Well," said Mr. Lincoln, after a little reflection, "I don't think I have the power

"And you accepted the offer?"

General Grant, who will, no doubt, do all and transfer my bounty to her, she would he can to oblige you. But, by the way," cancel the mortgage and present my wife he added, "there is, I believe, a young with two hundred and fifty dollars in man, a Union Lieutenant, in one of your greenbacks.” prisons in the South, of about the same rank as the young man you wish to get released. If you will try and get him out of prison I will use my influence for the liberation of your nephew, and they can be easily exchanged one for the other."

Mr. Stephens asked the name of the young Lieutenant, and, on being informed, borrowed a pencil, and, tearing a slip of took a note of it, saying that he paper, would do what he could in the matter. "Very well," said Old Abe; "send him to us, and your nephew shall go down to you."

"I've Enlisted, Sir."

My pay will

"Indeed I did, most gladly. I go for one year. I come back with a farm clear of incumbrance. My wife and boy can take care of it for a year. keep me, and my family can live without me for at least that time. Besides, I am glad to go. I wanted to go all along, but couldn't leave my folks." "And you are glad to go!" "Indeed I am. I feel just as contented and free from care as my red cow when Sally is milking her. If I can be with Grant when he goes into Richmond, it will be the very happiest day of my life."

coln.

A wealthy citizen of Philadelphia had Representative Recruit for President Linbeen supplied with butter twice a week by a young farmer living on the edge of Philadelphia county. He came on one of his usual days 'to the house with his butter, received his pay, and then asked for a brief interview with the head of the household. The gentleman complied with the request thus made, and the young agriculturalist was duly ushered into the Marshal-General, Mr. N. D. Larner, of parlor.

"I just wished to thank you, Sir, for your custom for these three years, and to say that after to-day I can not longer serve you."

"I'm sorry for that. Your butter and eggs have always been very fine. What's the matter?"

"I've enlisted, Sir." "Enlisted?"

President Lincoln caused himself to be represented in the great army of which, by virtue of his office, he was Commander-in-Chief, by obtaining a recruit-Mr. John S. Staples. Mr. S., arrayed in the uniform of the United States army, and accompanied by General Fry, Provost

the Third Ward, Washington, and the recruit's father, was taken to the Executive Mansion, where he was received by President Lincoln. General Fry inintroduced him by saying: "Mr. President, this is the man who is to represent you in the army for the next year.” Mr. Lincoln shook hands heartily with Mr. Staples, remarked that he was a good-looking, stout and healthy-appearing man, and believed he would do his duty. He asked Staples if he had been mus

"Yes, Sir. A mortgage of eleven hundred dollars has been hanging over my place. I purchased it from a lady-tered in, and he replied that he had. Mr.

Mrs. B."

"Yes. I know her very well." "Well, Sir, she holds the mortgage. She offered, last Saturday, if I would enlist as a representative substitute for her,

Larner then presented the President with a framed official notice of the fact that he had put in a representative recruit, and the President again shook hands with Staples, expressing to him his kind personal

regard, and the hope that he would be one that possibly some of the sympathizers of of the fortunate ones in the conflict in the South, in that city, might buy them, which he had entered.

Cheers and a Tiger for Harry Bumm.
There was at one time a hitch in the

he replied that of all classes of people
they were the worst, and should receive
merited condemnation. He was asked
what he did for a living before the war
broke out.
clerk at Atlanta, Georgia. He was then
He replied that he was a

told

"Perhaps you can get a clerkship in Philadelphia." At this, he looked thoughtfully for a moment, and then said,

management of affairs in Philadelphia, producing difficulty and delay in paying out bounties to the fresh volunteers. Besides, there was no very great amount of money to be found in the treasury. On the whole, the duties of Mr. Henry Bumm, the popular treasurer of the Quaker City, were more difficult than those of any pre-fairs, believing that I am a deserter? I

"No, no; do you think any sensible man would trust me with his business af

have deserted the Confederate army; most of us have done the same thing. If I can get work at laboring, I shall be satisfied. I want to go to some remote place, where I shall never hear the word 'war' mentioned."

"Could you make yourself useful on a farm?" interrupted an elderly man from New Jersey.

"Yes Sir," replied the rebel oathtaker.

vious incumbent of the office. Under these circumstances, Captain Cameron, with a hundred and seventy-five recruits, marched one day to Mr. Bumm's office to draw their bounty. The aggregate was a large sum. The treasury was something like the Susquehanna at low water-its bottom was plainly visible. Mr. Bumm, however, did not keep the gallant boys waiting. They stepped up, one by one, and received their emerald-backed portraits of Secretary Chase. When all had been paid, a color-sergeant stepped forward and called "Three cheers for City Treasurer, Mr. Harry Bumm." All mouths opened, and the cheers were given was soon on the sandy soil of New Jerloudly and lustily. This done, Captain sey. Cameron said, "Boys, three more, if you like." The three more were given, when all hands put in the largest "tiger" seen since Van Amburg's caravan left Philadelphia. The men then formed into line, giving another feu de joie of cheers as they moved off.

"I will give you plenty to do," responded the farmer, "get into my wagon." The repentant got into the wagon, and

Equal to the Emergency.

Secretary Stanton 'is stated to have settled a little point with the President of the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad, as follows:

President-The draft has fallen with great severity upon the employees of our

company.

Stanton-Indeed!

President If something is not done to relieve us, it is hard to foresee the consequences.

Deserting a Bad Cause. Lieutenant Foster, of the Third Maine Heavy Artillery, arrived at Philadelphia with forty rebels who had taken the oath of allegiance to the Union. One of these had one thousand dollars in genuine Confederate scrip, of one hundred dollars each. He supposed they were worth nothing in Philadelphia, and on being told stand such a tax.

Stanton-Let them pay the commuta

tion.

President-Impossible! The men can't

Stanton-They have a rich company at able, during all the period of her military their back, and that's more than other service, successfully to conceal her sex in people have.

President-They ought to be exempted, because they are necessary to the working of the road for the Government.

and

Stanton-That can't be.

President-Then I will stop the road. Stanton-If you do, I will take it up carry it on.

the guise of a boy.

Yankee Forever!

Colonel Lawson, like every other loyal prisoner in the hands of the rebels, was not unwilling to accept the privilege of parole in lieu of a dose of cold lead. The Colonel was taken prisoner by a gang of Missouri guerillas, who at first proposed a little target practice upon him with their rifles, but at last concluded to let him off on his parole. Upon investigation, however, it proved that of the rebels who then had him in charge-about a dozennot one could write a parole, nor any thing else. Through their whole youth they had never been subjected to the pernicious influence of free schools. At last they requested Colonel Lawson himself to make out the parole and sign it. He immediately wrote an agreement, solemnly pledging himself never to take up arms against the United States of America, or in any way give aid and comfort to their

The discussion is said to have been enemies,-signed it, and was set at libdropped at this point, and the very worthy erty. He made the best of his way to president still worked the road as success- our lines, and was not overtaken. fully as ever."

Mr. S., the Countryman, and his Substi

tute.

During the drafting time in New York,

Anglo-African Daughter of the Regiment. While the Twelfth Rhode Island regiment was on duty in the town of Lancas- a Mr. S., from Putnam County, arrived in ter, Kentucky, a chubby young Anglo- New York city full of hope, and eager in African, answering to the name of Tom- pursuit of a good substitute to take his my, came into camp, and desired to enter place in the army, and four hundred dolthe service of some one of Uncle Sam's lars in his pocket to pay for him. Of officers, and was taken by one of the Cap-course he did not call at the rooms of the tains as a body-servant. In this capacity Supervisors' Committee.

Had he done

the fugitive followed the regiment through so he would have been made by Mr. Blunt all the experiences and vicissitudes of the a wiser, if not a better, man, and also campaign, and then home to Rhode Island, saved his money. But he preferred going always faithful, attentive, cheerful. But into the street, into the highways and bythe refinements of civilized life were too ways, and through an 'honest' agent or much for Tommy, and the Captain's body broker succeeded in a way not altogether servant proved to be a veritable daughter agreeable. The active and persevering of the regiment,-a bona fide girl of less agent whom S. secured to aid him, soon than twenty summers,-who had been found a capital fellow-strong, hale and