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It was a summer's eve, and underneath
the day iv har deth ever afther, an' 'twas he had the crow over thim that wouldn't go width him. An' 'twas like a new wedding, they made sich rejicing an' gev away sich aitin' an' driakin' whin the Vanithee was ondher her own roof agin; an' there was no fear but there was hollidays made for Bridkeen whinever she cum the way dhuring her life. An', indeed, 'twas my own father that stud (47) for the second child Joanny had afther lavin' the good people ; but she always kep dark about what she see while she was there, unless, whatsumever, past 'atween herself and Mick about it. But he never tould aither, an' many a long year they lived together in comfort; an' Joanny bet Jeffers in Blarney in a lawsoot about some fields or another that Mick wouldn't daare have any call to width him only for her, an''twas offtin and offtin he used to say, an' he talkin' to himself walkin' through the daymane,
" What harm to be bet, only to be bet be ‘Joanny, the Fairies.'"
Well, they're all dead an' gone now, more's the pity they couldn't live always ; but, as I said in the bigiņing, this is no dhoorshé dhorsha, but the plane thruth as it tuck plaice, an' it would be a dale bether for thiin onsbucks iv people that don'no what's good for 'em, that do be goin' to furrin parts lookin' for pleashure, iv they come an' see the ould grey ainciont castle that faced out all Crummel's canning (48) an’the fine daymane width the rock close in it, wbere the wild flowers are as thick as the grass, and the lake that could never be dhrained; where the say-horse lives an' the chist iv the real ould goold, is an the Blarney stone, that would tache 'em to coax the birds off av the bushes, for one kiss they'd give it. Ayeb ! 'tis many's the sweet warm kiss they'd get through the mane's iv that one cowld one aftberwards, an' the beautyful corinthry all about it where the whole story happio'd, an' where there's nayther baste or sarpint, or man or bird to hurt 'em, onless a piirty rogish balf-look froin a nate light-footed colleen dhas (49) would do 'em any harm ; and, egor, l'on tould there's quare fellows goin' there that would frightin' them too, but shure they're no loss anywhere, 'tis aqual where they goes to, be say or land, tisn't the like iv thim mane craythures we'd like to see among us, but the fine sperited dacint people that go sthravagin' away width thiinselves for the want of knowing better to thim oncivilized counthries where, I'm tould, 'tis all Latting an' Frinch they do be talkin' an' not a good bit to put in their mouth, payin' away their honist money for pison an' gibberish an' allygathors, in plaice iv coming to Blarney where everything is clane an'upright and ondherstandable, an' not to be climbering up thim misforthunate slippery cowld mountains an' lavin' their bones afther'em there for their pains.
When you were gone I doted o'er the thought
Life drifts us on-the end must needs be near-
A TRUE FRIEND.--A true friend is distinguished in the crisis of hazard and necessity-when the gali lantry of his aid may show the worth of his soul and the loyalty of his heart.- Ennius,
(47) Became sponsor. (48) Cromwell's cannons. (49) Pretty girl.
might readily be argued that a no less exquisite
discrimination had been exercised in the bePASSIM PARTOUT.
stowal of their invisible details. From one
band, flashing with jewels, was suspended by “After all," said Ernest, as we stood in the a silken loop an ivory walking-stick, overportico of the Maison de Conversation,“ Baden wrought with the microscopic chasing which is the true Paradise of Fools. What a pity Chinese art so eminently well achieves, and that old Erasmus did not live here! under such surmounted with an immense Mont Blanc auspices as these, his 'Praise of Folly' would crystal, of singular form and lustre. A pair have been immortal. Think how he would of the most piercing eyes I ever met, and a have thriven on the bagatelle that abounds in tremendous Huger nose, opon whose summit a these ancient purlieus of unreason! Depend pair of lorgnieties of almost fabulous size upon it, you will never discover another green had perched-resembling a magnified insect spot on the globe where the human caravan- newly alit and settling to take flight againserai is shown up' half so delightfully. But were alone visible of all the phenomena of bis hallo! apropos of oddities, here he comes, the countenance. But an owl from the recess of facile princeps, the magnate of monkeys, the its ivy home could not have peered more watchgreat uncaged; behold him slouching up this fully abroad than did the embellished orbs of avenue! When I look upon that man, I can this personage from their loop-holes amid the readily conceive how Pythagoras was inspired | Hospo jar rankness of his hirsute face. with his creed; that individual is a walking And pray, who is your incarnate prodigy of text of transmigration. His soul has certainly a friend ?" whispered I, as the ambulating aptravelled the rounds of creation, though I would parition drew near. stake my life that tbis is the first time it has "Softly. Not to know hiin argues yourself tenanted a human receptacle ; he is not accus- unkuown. Let me present you immediately to tomed to being a human being, that's evident. Herr Graff, the Erlaught Passim Partout, the I don't believe he can quite divest himself of Polish traveller who has seen everything, and an uneasy suspicion that he is an estray from has fought under the banners of a dozen the Jardin des Plantes or Regent's Park, where different nations in as many zones.” he might, without inordinate ambition, aspire to emperorship over the giraffe, ring-tailed and striped creation. Certain I am that the most refractory outang would embrace bim in the The process of introduction followed, and the freemasonry of fraternization, and stupid would bestowal of a languid nod ensued. These prebe the brule who failed to recognize in bim the liminaries being properly completed, a snuff. blended attributes of travelled monkey and box of malachite was extended on the part of dancing-bear. Saw you ever his like?” the prodigy. An almost instantaneous fit of
In fact, my attainment both in zoology and sneezing, coupled with an obeisance of adoring, in human nature were exercised by a bizarre though involuntary, profoundness, expressed test as I attempted to define within any known my ineffable sense of the pungency appertinent classification the object of my companion's to the malachite's cuntents. mirth; but I found him altogether anoinalous. This proceeding opened conversation. The
The semblance of a man he certainly wore. Erlaughi Passim Partout found my demonstraHis person was sumptuously robed in a dark- tion much to his taste, because very flattering ; green-body, curiously and profusely frogged, though whether to himself or to his souff-box, and trimmed with a volume of glistening sable, he did not stop to inquire, being one of the in the nice selection of which, apparently, at numerous class who esteem commendation least a dozen skins must have been ransacked. bestowed upon any portion of their property as A light velvet cloak drooped from one shoulder a compliment naturally transferable to them. like a mourning-flag at half-mast. A lofty, selves. Gravely he returned my snuff-inspired peaked chapeau, decked with a plume, and bow, and again the treacherous weed's reposiresembling the style in which Persian Mufti tory was proffered. appear on high holidays, towered slantingly Again we all three stood extracted therefrom, above his head. A pair of lucent boots, which particularly the Count, who closed his eyes and reflected the very landscape around, rose threw back his head to repeat his inhalation-a tasselled to his knees, and became recipients of repetition this time intensified by an absolute his brilliant pantaloons, from the consummate unction; a confessed gusto, a brain-beguiling adjustment of whose supernal flowing folds it abandon of enjoyinent; an excessive and ab
A PINCH OF SNUFF.
sorbing spell of sensuous sighs, which seemed | Jehoshaphat, but in order to explain the to float bis charmed soul far, far away on the variance in the systems which came under my tide of streaming lungs into Araby the Blest, observation at the Persian Spas and at the tepid the land of spices and odours. Slowly broke baths of Tartary-speaking of the east do you the protracted dream at length, and suffered use haschish ?” reviving consciousness to shift the current of “Oh!” exclaimed Ernest, burriedly, " you his breath from its olfactory channel to his lips, never alluce to your health now; pray tell me where now it found vent in a peculiarly soft if you find it much improved.” voice.
• Your solicitude is considerate and kind;
but my malady is, I fear, scarcely attainable by TRAVELS,
these waters. I contracted my last asthma by
being precipitated in an avalanche from the “Ah! monsieur, you appreciate, I perceive, Mount of Olive3-bah! I mean the Jungfrau. the fine bouquet of my snuff; permit me to Strange! that lapsus." inform you that well you may. It is no • Which ? the avalanche ?" ordinary breath you draw when freighted with “No, the lapsus linguee. It is because I these aromatic grains. Will you do me the bave seen 80 much more than I can rehonour to examine my establishment (present member" ing the box); the rich setting, you will remark, “ Or remember so much more than you bave betokens that it is the repository of a superior seen,” added Ernest, in an under tone. article ; and a very superior article certainly is “As I was saying, it was in the month of enclosed. Do me the honour to decipher the June that, just as I had arranged my meteorolegend on the lid ; it reads, “The Incense of logical instruments upon the Virgin Moua. Heroes : The Hospodar of Wallachia to the tain," a beastly avalanche started from its bed, Erlaught Passim Partout.' You look puzzled. and enveloping my person in its mould, hurled It was a present from the Hospodar when I me several thousand feet into the valley. had the good-fortune to render him the service Whether owing to the extreme celerity of of detailing the topography of the Moldavian descent, or to the pressure of snow upon my frontier, where the insurrection had broken chest, I am uncertain ; but I am unable to out; and by timely intervention prevented six draw a clear breath ever since. Allow me to provinces from being overrun by the lawless relatecanaille. This snuff is produced under glass “But,” insisted Ernest, with great rapidity globes six feet in height and sixteen in dia- of utterance, “it is said that the baths are fremeter, and is supposed to be the finest in the quently used with great advantage in such disworld. One of its most remarkable properties orders." is that of operating powerfully upon the human "I grant you, when taken in the north, bot voice; by means of a few months' assiduous baths are as beneficial as delightful. Only two use of it, the most stentorian voice is rendered years ago I submitted to a course of barboiling soprano. As for myself, I do not venture to in Norway, and derived immense benefit. The use it in undiluted purity; this, of which you rationale of my winter course in Norwaybave just partaken, is at least one third “What! seriously, in winter ?" interrupted adulterated with rappee. But, as I was saying, again my friend. after being grown in a very limited quantity, Strictly, sir, in winter. I never regulate and with the nicest attention- for it is full as
my movements by those of other people. My delicate as a sensitive-plant- the miniature crop mission to Petersburg was in January." of the reclaimed weed is gathered; and, after “Your entire life, I imagine, must have been an almost infinite succession of processes- devoted to purposes of travelling," I interposed,
, among which number eleven pulverizations- equally entertained by the Count's glimpses of the perfected article is deposited and preserved narration and by the nervous suspension of for seasoning in nine opaque urns, usually of Ernest. sarcophagus, which are in the palace cellar. “ Life-motion-commotion-sir, you conNo doubt you would wish to bear more fully jecture rightly. I require constant change of how the true flattering flavour is attained ?” air: if I remain so long as a week at one place,
I was making a kind of affirmative noise Ian obliged to seek artificial substitutes for a when Ernest, to whom these snuff histories diversity of scene. Sir, you have seen America. were nothing new, and who dreaded the repeti- | A great nation are the Americans; they like tion of narratives in which, whether true or novelty. My favourite scheme at present is a false, frequent repetition had rendered the horseback expedition through that extensive raconteur perfect, suffered his impatience to country.' break through the dumb display it had thus " I think you might be induced to abandon far maintained :
horseback in favour of a more expeditious « Pardon, but I had quite forgotten to ask mode of travel before the completion of your
tour." your opinion of Baden-Baden."
“I asked you that question long ago, mon "All a mistake, sir. Horseback is the only cher. Baden is a sponge which is charged mode for a gentleman to travel. As for time, with the essences of everything agreeable in all what was travel invented for but to kill time? Europe.
I pass by my séjour in the valley of | Besides, my aversion is a trodden track. My
chief occupation of afternoons is to seek out
AN ACOLYTE. some unknown avenue, where mortal foot has rarely or never been before.”
Punctual and not slow were we at six o'clock “There go some gentlemen who perhaps can to meet the Erlaught Passim Partout in the pioneer you to such a terra incognita," said assembly-rooms of Mellerio and Buffa. The Ernest, pointing to three sportsmen who were petit diner was really of the most recherché ordriving by in a dog.cart; " at least, I mean, it der. Our Amphytrion was not unworthy of the they suceeed in finding game, it will be in parts profession of Lucullus; and M. Goutfin abun. unknown to me. My fowling-piece bas been dantly proved that the mantle of Beauvilliers rusting ingloriously ever since my arrival. (wbose ascension from the cuisine to heaven
“That,” replied the Count, who was always took place in 1820) had fallen upon shoulders for viewing things in the gross, “is the result not incompetent to wear the gastric glories of of your own inaction. Practice and persever- bis predecessor. ance, gentlemen, make the best brace of The company at our table numbered one more pointers. A keen buntsman with these may than that of the Graces, the minimum of Grescare up white bears in Arabia, or antelopes in cian conviviality. It was a partie carré; and Liberia. I well remember," continued he, the fourth guest was brought by Partout-for throwing into his countenance an unusual no earthly purpose that I could divine, unless to supply of that dreamy abstractedness which earn his right to the seat he occupied by playing was the sure precursor to usher into the world henchman to the Count in the latter's more auan anecdote of unusual imagination, “I well dacious careerings upon the marvellous. A man remember, when in Central Africa, after shoot, who can lie like an epitaph is seldom improved ing lions for three months, I began to long for at dinner, even though he may drink as deep as the sight of a pheasant. Says the Sheik, the well of Truth itself. Certes, if veritas be 'Impossible ;' says I, 'If your' highness will dissolved in vino, our Erlaught entertainer conwager two Abyssinian
trived to swallow the mingled composition with Again Ernest dashed impetuously into the an excellent grace, and to conceal all signs of web of the Count's fresh historiette : “ Apropos the secret working of either ingredient. It was --who do you think has arrived to-day ?" to season and sustain these ebullitions that the
" Who? Lablache, or the Grand Duke, services of our new acquaintance were called or - -?" guessed the Count.
into requisition. “Neither; you are wrong and stupid. But From the perfect familiarity with which he I'm afraid you'll think it too good to be true. fell into his rôle, I rightly conjectured that to It is no less than Goutfin, the Howard of play bottle-holder in these encounters of imacuisines, the sun of the table, the immortal gination was, for him, no novel employment. cook! I had almost forgotten to tell you; he The acolyte's fat face would have presented a came three hours ago with a suite of turn-spits, Chinese puzzle for a physiognomist, it being and enters upon his artistic duties at Mellerio's without lines, character, or expression ; in all this very day. All Baden, as you may suppose, respects as blank as a barn-door of any indicais in a stew."
tions whatsoever, except a crop of pallid pitEnough," sung the Count; “ this is an marks, which at once made it palpable that he advent. I shall go this instant. Gencle- was one of those unfortunates for whom “Jen. men, I have received a box of partridges from a
ner had lived in vain." the Chateau of Mark Brunnen. Until to- There he sat, with bis square face, and twink. day I have been unwilling to intrust them to the ling eyes, and napkined chin. There he sat, harsh cookery of the restaurant; but now, but with the immobile pertinacity of the sedentary Dow, indeed, I can safely invite you both to Theseus, of whom it is written, Sedet, semper partake of a dish fit for the gods.' Will you que sedebit. There he sat, examining every. join me at six ? Yes ? Then I must be off at thing with attention, but never uttering a word; once to engage the celestial offices of Goutfin. while his features remained as unalterable as Au revoir."
those of a blind man; only, when compelled by "You see,” said Ernest, as the traveller the repletion of his plete to refuse a proffered
" that the picked man of coun- dish, he would heave what the French call a sigh tries' is not necessarily perfect. Partout is a à la Walter Scott: that is to say, very like a remarkable instance of a political Ishmaelite. groan. Or when he heard a sally, or a facetious Partly for pleasure, and partly on diplomatic trait, bis visage would spread apace, his eyes errands, he has roamed from Indus to the would close, and opening a mouth about the Pole,' until at last his principles have become as size of the pavilion of a French horn, he would heterogeneous as bis habits, and the simplest cause to issue therefrom a prolonged sound ideas of truth are, in his mind, as varying as the wbich the horses outside would catch up and repoints of a compass. I am not sure but that he echo. But when Partout advised binself to believes his own stories, for there is something enter upon a narration of unusually immense Datural in his very exaggeration.”
magnitude-an enterprise which was invariably announced by some species of moral legerdemain that the bottle-holder never failed to apprehend—the latter would show himself capable of a yet more emphatic demonstration. He
ceased masticating altogether, and poised the “Gassoon !" shouted a huge man with Hiber. bandles of knife and fork upon the table in his nian features, who had been silently and grimly clenched fists. Then, raising full opposite the contemplating the bill of fare, to a waiter wbo speaker the square face, which all at once from wore suspended from his neck a placard, on some secret source began to beam with sug- which the announcement“ English Spoken" was gestiveness, he fell into the attitude of the inscribed in staring capitals. idiotic figure on the extreme right of Thom's ce- “ Yaw milord !" lebrated group of Tam o'Shanter. Did the “Bring me a Tartarean tart, hot as story flag, he was there to relieve it with a cheer- quick as lightning!" ful chirp. Did it too wantonly transcend be- “Yaw! milord !" lief, there he was, all primed with some pre- "A glass of absinthe, and a bottle of Bursumptive evidence, which he failed not to urge gundy in ice." with all the corroborating force of a Druidical “ Yaw-inilord !" voice, that seemed to say, " Doubt me if you “ Yaw the divil! and ye call this ‘English dare!" After which he would come to order spoken,' do ye? Niver ye yaw a gintleman again, and relapse into his habitual taciturnity. agin."
“ Yaw, milord ! exclaimed the polyglot menial, darting down into the lower realms, out of reach
of the excitable Irishman. Whether he suc. The salon of a restaurateur is the Eden of ceeded in concocting the species of tart in regourmands: it likewise contains much that is quest, I know not; but judgiog from the gratiworthy of observation. The only two things fication inspired by his return, it was fair to precertain in life, appetite and ennui, make it an sume that an excellent substitute, at least, was unfailing lounging-place for men of leisure ; procured. and, examined a little in detail, it offers to the “ Was befehlen mien Herren?" stutters forth eye of the philosopher a tableau, made worthy of the little female garçon. interest by the variety of situations which it as- "Remove my egg, instantly, and bring sembles.
another !-faugh! it is offensive!” shouts a But it is not my intention to be betrayed into German with a broad chest and forehead. making a catalogue raisonée of the frequenters “But, sir," she remonstrates, after a nasal who may have come under my notice; although experiment upon the repudiated esculent," the Ceres and Bacchus bave numbered among their ) egg is sound and fresh; try it, sir.” votaries many handsome women who embel. "Try! do you wish to try my temper? Is it lished the repasts of which they partook; and not enough that the egg is in bad odour with some of the other sex who caused iheir listeners me? An egg, to be palatable, should be like to forget the mortal weakness that drew them Cæsar's wife!" thundered the exasperated Ger bither in a flow of conversation which eloquently man, rising; “like the wife of Cæsar, I tell evidenced that Ariel's light presence is not ne- you--not to be tried : not to be proven pure ; cessarily dispelled by the rattle of unmusical but above suspicion-above reproach !" steel.
At this sortie, which she takes almost for an But just as one of Lanner's liveliest airs had insult, the little female garçon replies with a struck up from the adjacent pavilion, came the ja wohl, pronounced à la Saxonne, containing at hour when the brotherhood of gamblers enjoy a least a dozen 0-0-0-0, which may be translated, brief respite from pale confinement. As they “A pretty piece of impertinence, truls, in an flocked in the muniment-room to recruit their establishment like ours!” exhausted forces for another campaign, it was At length the beneficent influence of the pair ful to perceive how completely the unre- scene began to be felt by the most ravenous warded partisans of fortune seemed to have and wrathful of the guests.
Countenances parted with Nature's best gifts--their spirits as lost much of their contraction as personer well as their purses. You might make shrewd panded. Six speculators near ine, upon whom conjectures as to the various successes of the Fortune had turned the cold shoulder, now new comers by noting the character of the thoroughly warmed themselves by dint of en. dishes they advocated.' Pigeons, sweet-hreads, vironing and draining a foaining punch-bowl of forced meats, and devilled kidneys were in iin true Bavarian dimensions, and were soon in mense favour with the most melancholy- fair train to make light of the heaviest blows stricken; nor was there any lack of deep pota- that Chance could inflict. A single salad, just tions of the fiercest fluids that flow from the touched with the magic of Goutfin, restored to pleasant land of “Cognac, Charlemagne, and the bosom of society a Frenchman who had Champagne,” whose light-hearted distillers as quite lost heart from long lunching on ill-lack. suredly never dreamed that the blood of their 'l'hree bottles of white-wine, limpid as water darling grape was being shed to make “sops for springing from a rock, and sparkling enough Cerberus." On the other hand, dindes aux to create thirst in a mad-dog, 'effected miracles truffes, and garnishing accessories, seasoned | in a third group. Nor should I omit an honour. with a nectarean infusion of such Burgundy able mention of a capon fricasée, 60 richly as one drinks between Dijon and Chalons, com doweried with truffles that it might have sufficed posed the more refreshing portion of an epicu- to rejuvenate the old Tithonus: its efficacy rean minority.
elicited a perfect cascade of compliments from