"L

OVE," said Mr. Skidds, "leads to various diseases. In Captain Higgins' case, it led to vegetarianism." He gazed at me calmly from the, afterbitts of the Helene, and emphasized his statement by a nod of his head. Then he squinted up at the spanker topsail, knocked the coal out of his pipe, and came over to where I sat on the wheel-box.

"I heard about Higgins," I remarked. "Nearly everybody using the Pacific Ocean did," said Mr. Skidds. "But there weren't many that knew the reason why a well found schooner like his was lost in midsea when there wasn't storm or rock or reef."

"Do you know?" I demanded.

The mate of the Helene refilled his pipe and nodded. "It was love of vegetarianism. Unsuccessful love and blighted affections combined with successful vegetarianism and-" Mr. Skidds paused temperately, his rotund countenance inflamed, apparently, by the glow of some inner recollection.

"And what?" I asked eagerly.

"That is the real reason. Love, either successful or unhappy, is not any reason for raising the insurance rates. Vegetarianism is a manner of living when the fun's gone. Higgins went to see Mistress Shinney-who was very good-looking-and says to her, I'm in love with. you; marry me.' She, like all women, preferred to remodel him first. When Higgins discovered that he must do this and do that and have ideals and a religion and politics, he got discouraged. told me so himself. When a man loses heart he's likely to do any thing that a fool can do. Higgins got vegetarianism. I remember the day very well.

He

"The Zuleika Higgins was lying off Meiggs' wharf, in San Francisco, and I was busy bending the sails, for we were to make for Honolulu the next day. Higgins came aboard and called me aft. 'See here, Skidds, fire the cook!' savs he.

"Fire the cook!' I remarks. 'Why, that cook is the pride of the Zuleika. He's

the best doctor of meat and potatoes that ever scrubbed a pan. What d'ye mean, sir?' I inquires.

"I mean that I've decided that it's best for the crew's health to have another cook. I notice some of the hands look logey and the carpenter was telling me only the other day that his liver bothered him. I have ordered supplies for the voyage on a new line. I think it will prove much better for the men and the officers.'

"I was staggered, and I admit it. But I never let Higgins know it. All right, sir,' I says. 'Pete goes. Shall I ship another one today?'

"Yes,' he replies. 'Get a vegetarian cook. I have ordered vegetarian supplies.'

"I wiped my forehead and says, 'What are vegetarian supplies? And where shall I get a cook of that breed?. The one we have now is a Guam boy.'

"Then he explained how his health was bad and he had found that he was eating too much meat and we all were eating too much meat and he was going to try a voyage on the vegetarian plan and would I hold my jaw and obey orders? I did both.

"I fired Pete and went up to the Union to sign a new cook. The secretary looked me all over when I told him what I wanted and the executive committee held an informal meeting, while I expostulated on their general behaviour.

"But the vegetarian cooks don't belong to the union,' they said. "They're all scabs. You can't sign a vegetarian cook. If you try it, the union will call your crew off.'

"Look here,' I remarks, 'Captain Higgins wants a vegetarian in the galley. If you don't keep 'em in stock, can't you get one? I don't want any trouble with the union, but I'll have a vegetarian cook if it busts the ship.'

"The executive committee met again and decided they could supply one. 'He aint regularly a vegetarian cook,' the secretary explains, but he knows the ropes all right. Come back in an hour and you can have him.'

"An hour later," said Mr. Skidds, shifting his massive bulk slightly, "I went back and saw the oddest looking cook you ever laid eyes on. He was a Yankee. Ever see a real down-east American in the galley? He was the first in my time. "Can you cook vegetarian?' I demands.

"He twiddled his hat and allowed that he could. 'I studied it for a year,' he said.

"I was more doubtful than ever, but I took him on and we went out to the schooner. When we got aboard I hunted up Higgins and told him the new cook had come off.

""The supplies are on the deck,' says the old man, very gloomy. 'Better get one of the hands to help the cook stow 'em.'

"I went for'ad and sure enough there was a tremendous raffle of stuff piled on the forehatch. The hands were loafing around curiously.

"Looks like a whaling voyage,' says Chips, viewing the mess. 'Only I don't seem to recunnize the looks of the goods. There ain't any beef barrels nor soup cans and there's a lot of stuff with foreign names.'

"It looked odd to me, and I started in to overhaul it. I was stuck in a minute. 'Hey, cook!' I calls, 'come out here and sort this truck. It's beyond me.'

"The old codger smiled all over when he had taken a look at the litter. He piled into it with chuckles and whistled joyously. Never saw a man so changed. He'd gaze entranced at a box of stuff and reel off the name and hustle to the lazarette with it like a boy with a piece of gingerbread. I picked up one of the cases myself. It was so light I let out a howl. This is a fraud,' I says. "These boxes are empty. Bring an axe.'

"They brought me an axe and I took off the cover of one of them. It was filled with small pasteboard packages. I opened one of them and it was full of a sort of oatmeal. I called the captain and showed him what I had found. "There are twenty cases with the same marks on 'em,' I explained. 'What'll we do? Send for the chandler and raise Ned with him tonight?"

"Higgins brightened up when he saw the stuff. "That's the best food for the brain you ever saw,' he said.

"I forbear to state the proceedings of the next two hours. But when it was over, the lazarette was chock-full of assorted oatmeal, variegated flours and dried garden truck. There was a ton of rice stowed in the forepeak. There wasn't a barrel of beef in the lot, not an ounce of mutton, nor a splinter of bacon.

"Look here,' I protested to the old man, 'this don't go with me. What are we going to eat? Mush four times a day? Where's the beef?"

""There ain't any beef,' says Higgins "This is vegetarianism. It's good for the health.'

"Who told you so?' I demands.

""Mistress Shinney,' he responds, very warm. She knows just what the matter with us is.'

'Does

"Does she think the whole ship's crew is in love with her?' I inquired. she suppose that there are fourteen suffering hearts on the Zuleika Higgins that need gruel and spoon-victuals? You'll have a mutiny.'

"Captain Higgins had a very sad way of swearing, but it was exasperating. Who wants to be cussed as if the cusser was praying for you? I nearly hit the old man and we had some considerable language.

"Well, we finally agreed to put off the new bill of fare till the next day, when we were at sea. 'It'll save us the crew,' I says. If they get this truck tonight, they'll desert in a body. We've got enough beef for supper, anyway.'

"The next morning we went to sea and by the time we had seated the new sails flat and tidied up the decks and set the watches, I was hungry. And when I passed the galley, there wasn't any appetizing smell floating to leeward.

"Two days later the second mate came to me. 'My men refuse to work any more,' says he. "They say they can't eat the greens and grass and chopped mush handed out from the galley. It's mutiny, sure enough. I don't blame them.'

"We took it to the skipper. We told him we were tired ourselves. We informed him that our health was so much improved that we thought we were strong enough to eat a little meat.

"He got ugly and told us we were mutinous ourselves. 'Do you suppose that I'm not wise enough to run this ship without the advice of a lot of unhealthy offi

You've been eating meat so long that your system is poisoned.' That was the general nature of his remarks.

"The next day the cook came to me and said he was afraid. "The crew is throwing things at me,' says he. 'I want to quit.'

"An hour later he came back. 'I have quit,' says he.

"The old man reasoned with him. But the cook said he had stood as much as he

was going to. 'I ain't had a sleep in three days. They throw things at me. They've stole all my clothes. I never signed to cook for a lot of ignorant critters like them.' And he went for'ard.

'Look over the crew,' says the old man, at last, and pick out a new cook, Mr. Skidds.'

"I spent an hour looking them over. Only one of them knew anything about it. He said he didn't know anything about the finer kinds of mush, but he could boil spuds and beef.

""There ain't any spuds and beef,' I says, but take what there is and see what you can do with it.' And I put the old cook to work in the port watch, where he seemed quite cheerful. We missed our dinner that day.

"In the afternoon watch, the new cook came aft. 'I don't know these things apart,' he says. 'I've found a lot of rice and beans and wheat and raisins mixed in with the mush. What'll I cook?"

"Rice,' I answers. 'We'll have beans tomorrow.'

""I ain't never cooked any rice,' says he. 'How much do you think will be enough for the crew?'

"Let's see,' I remarks. "There's fifteen of us. I guess about two buckets will be enough. Boil it with raisins."" Mr. Skidds ruminated over his pipe. "You see I didn't know much about the business," he remarked. "But it was the vegetarianism that was to blame. It was three o'clock in the afternoon when I told the cook to fix the rice. At eight bells I went for❜ard to see how he was making out. The galley door was shut and there was sort of scuffling sound inside.

"I opened the door, thinking some of the hands was in there making more trouble. The cook was alone, dipping rice into pots with a big spoon. The stove was covered with pots and I saw other pots of rice on the floor. 'What are you

'Didn't I tell you

doing?' I inquired. two buckets would be enough, you fool?' "The cook looked up most bewildered.. I put two buckets of rice in that big pot an hour ago,' says he. 'I've been bailing ever since. It sort of swells, sir.'

"Half an hour later the cook came aft. 'I've got to have more pots,' says he. That rice is still swelling, sir.'

""There aren't any more pots,' says I. 'I thought you said you could cook?"

"I am cooking,' says he, very indignant. 'I've cooked for two hours, and I haven't pots enough. It's all over the galley floor now.'

""Get for'ard,' says I, very sternly.

"At five o'clock the old man came up. 'Is supper nearly ready? he inquires. 'How is the new cook making out?'

"I don't know,' I replied. 'He said something about some trouble or other.' "Well,' says the skipper, 'better go and see what's the matter.'

"I went for'ard. The galley door was shut and the cook was smoking his pipe outside. I took him by the ear. 'What do you mean?' I inquired. 'Why aren't you cooking?'

"He was very much flustered. "There ain't room in that galley for me and the rice,' he says, very cross. And you better stand away from that galley door. I've locked it, but the lock ain't strong and it may bust open any minute.

"Then the crew took a hand and we were up against it. No food, no work. Captain Higgins called them all aft and read the law.

""The food you have been given is certified by the highest authorities to be invigorating and nourishing. That's enough. You go back to your duty and no more disorder.' He talked for some time in this way. Then he swore. That nearly brought them to terms. But he quit too soon.

"Have you ever felt so hungry you could enjoy hash? That night was one of the hungriest I ever remember to have passed. We had rice, to be sure, a galley full of it. But it was only half cooked.

"The next morning the crew came aft again. They were full of mush and trouble. The old man was very much worried.

He asked me if there wasn't any meat at all in the ship. None,' says I. "We're making a good run,' he says. 'In five days more we ought to reach the

islands. Tell the men to wait five days.' "I told them. They said five minutes was all they could wait.

"Finally, I put the old cook back to work and he made biscuits and bread and baked beans. The crew thought they might live two days more on that if I gave them plenty of sugar.

"Troubles never come singly. That afternoon the glass dropped, the wind hauled and by sunset it was blowing. The Zuleika Higgins never was a dry ship. By the time we had her under shortened canvas she was dipping it over the bows in good style. When I relieved the second mate at midnight, the deck was flooded and I had to lay the schooner to.

"Think of handling a schooner with a short crew, no coffee, no meat and only mush and things like that.. The next morning it was still blowing. Chips came aft on the run while I was trying to set the spanker. 'She's leaking!' says he. "So she was. She was leaking two feet an hour, too. By eight o'clock she was by the head. The old man was crazy.' I don't understand it,' says he. 'She's sound as a dollar. But she's got a hole in her somewhere that would let a fat man in. Work the pumps faster.'

They

"We did until they choked. choked on rice. It came up in great lumps and spilled out over the deck. 'Boats for us,' I tells the old man.

"I don't understand it,' he mourns. "This breeze isn't anything to speak of. And she's opened up like an old shoe. Have you located the leak ?"

"Located it! I says. From the way she takes water it must be a whole plank gone. We've none too much time to get into the boats.'

"So we put mush and flour into the boats and watched our chance and got away. She went down when we weren't a hundred yards off her bow. She stuck it up as she dipped her stern. Then we saw what the matter was. The planks were opened out like a loose bundle of shingles. And it was the rice. Plain as day. We'd stowed the rice for'ard under the bowsprit. When the deck was flooded the rice got wet and swelled. It swelled till there wasn't any more room and then it opened her bow up. So much for vegetarianism. She went down and when the whirl settled up the sea was covered with rice and mush of assorted varieties." "What picked you up?" I inquired.

"The Gerard C. Tobey," said Mr. Skidds. "She sighted us the same afternoon."

"How about Mistress Shinney and the captain?" I continued. "Did he renew his suit?"

"He was the maddest man I ever saw," replied Mr. Skidds. "He swore continuously all the way to San Francisco. Then he went up to see Mistress Shinney and I understood that he talked very plain to her. He told her, I heard later, that she was a goose and that her only chance in life was to marry him on the spot, eat meat and consider that what he said went. She did. He has another ship now. The crew gets meat four times a day-I think I'll drop down and have a bite of lunch now."

We dropped down and had some cold beef, under the swinging cabin lamp. "Love leads to funny things," said Mr. Skidds, as we cleaned the plate. "But vegetarianism is its worst form."

T IS difficult to say who was the happiest that day, big Giuseppe, with the round gold rings in his ears, who found it, little Giuseppe, with smaller rings, who loved it, or the mother, whose earrings were largest of all, and who loved them all-they or the priest, who declared they should keep it to bless their home forever.

That home, the home of Giuseppemostly called Beppo-Bondi, of Fremetta, his wife, and of their six-year-old son, little Beppo, was on the windy side of

Telegraph Hill, just at the dividing line between

"The Irish who live at the top av it, And the Dagoes who live at the base of it."

A humble home, but enriched by mutual affection and the occasional treasure trove wrested from the sea by big Beppo, who added to his ordinary avocation of fisherman the entrancing sport of drift catching.

A good housekeeper, according to Telegraph Hill standards, was Fremetta Bondi, and a pious woman withal. Did she not have in her best room-mark that!