5. There seems to be a eutanhereous disposition on the part of members from the South, and East to down upon us from the West, with a contempt more lofty and letanacious, than that of Col. Webb of the regular army for Common Marshal, before his bullet made his calf blat. Do the gentlemen suppose that we don't know the difference between a halk and a handsaw? or a shot gun and sixteen dollars in cash? We pretend to have no more learning sir than we could get of a winter's evening, out of an old spelling book by the light of a pine knot. But as for native intellect and genuine whale hogerine we raise no name for it; and if there is any man here, Mr. Speeker, who presumes to say, that Nathan Swackerhammer aint in his sphere that he aint the complete yellow flower of the forest that he cant whip his weight in wild cats: that he aint got the fastest hoss, the prettiest sister, the ugliest dog in all the universe, shiver my timbers if I don't make a spread eagle of him, quicker than you can say "whaw" with your mouth stretched from ear to ear.

6. It are a fair principle, Mr. Speeker, to render unto Cæsar the things that are Cæsar's, and unto Mrs. Cæsar the things that are hers, and unto us of the West the things that are our'n. Them things, Mr. Speeker, we have sworn by the glorious triumph of New Orleans: by the genius of our free institutions: by the indomitable spirit of our Anglo-Saxon Fathers, we will achieve, or else take our hats and go home, and butter our brains and put our heads to soak. I intend, sir, before I take my seat, to halt into the affairs of this government, like a thirty-two pound shot: to perpetuate the planks of the ship of state, like a gridiron; and scatter the solemn mysteries, like chickens before a sparrow halk.

7. Whatever I discourse worthy of praise I shall illumine with the glittering rays of approbation, until it shines like fiery Apollo in his middle prime: like sparkling gems in kingly diamonds: like bear's eyes in a cornfield by moonlight; or a tin six-pence in a bowl of hot greece. What

ever I detect of iniquity and composition, I shall my vial of wrath upon it, with the writhing pow Sirocco: I shall hurl the fulminating words of denunciation upon it, like thunderbolts from the arm of omnipotent Jove. I shall hammer it, as it were, upon a cobblers lap-stone, until it becomes as soft as a baked apple, and vanishes like roasted meat before a hungry niggar. The doctrine that to the spoils belong the victors, assumes the noble passion of my soul, and makes my mouth water enough to run a tread-mill-I go for it sled length.

8. It is one of the principles of the Declaration of Independence, and according to Scripture, which says, "Blessed be nothing, for a poor man is a reproach to any people,”— I am in favor of dividing the proceeds of public lands among the people, until every man's sheep kines are full of pretentions; and taxes are annihilated, like a musquetoe under the fist of Davy Crocket:-which would you rather. Mr. Speeker, it is more blessid to receive than to give. The veto power are a power, Mr. Speeker, which o'ershaddows congress and the government, like a dark cloud laden with the blossoms of destruction. It conveys dismay into the hearts of widdows and orphants: it makes up the stormy view of popular indignation; and showers abroad cart loads of the suds of dissolution as thick as autumn leaves in the valleys; as pebbles upon the sea shore; or cucumber bugs in a cabbage garden.

9. Captain Taylor, sir, has resumed the responsibility, and John, Mr. Botts has promised to head him. Yes, sir, the immortal Botts, destined, by heaven, to rid his country of a "Cataline" or kill a hoss. He is a goin' to head him, sir, cause why, cause he aint got any head of his own. That noble and last speeker, a nation proud and jealous of the blessing. Push forward illustrious Botts! let not your step falter! let not your firm purpose yield! hold fast in your present grasp the blazing sword of pestilence, and when you strike let its chivalrous edge enter his jugular! as the fierce thunderbolt raises the gnarled oak: as the

swift winged swallow cleaves the liquid air: as the gilded arrow glides from the quiver of remorseless cupid; or a little niggar runs when a big dog's arter him.

10. Then with conquering hand above your head, shake the fragment of your blade and shout, "I too have killed a hog." My voice is still for war,-war to the knife. Whatever aint, aint right: Glory, Honor, Democracy, Vox Populi, Vox Dei. John Bull with his right of secesh' and his South Carolina, have been rearing and tearing up the turf, and shaking his horns, and Brother Jonithan brawling, "Git out you tarnal critter" long enough. The fountains of patriotism is exausted. Blood must be let. Gentlemen may cry peace: I have no objections sir, providing we can fight for it, if we can't have it without.

11. But as to knocking under to John Bull in any way you can fix it, shiver my timbers, if I can stand it any longer. Hatspur says, "Cry Haddock, and let slip the

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dogs of war." them's my sentiments exactly. Sodom and Gomorrow, wild fire and blazing cat-tails, why stand ye here idle. Why if you are all afraid of him, the State of Indiana will take the war by the job; for we are half hoss, half alligatur, and half filled with earthquake; and if we leave hide or hair of his, then call it "great cry and little wool," as the devil said when he sheared the hog. Thats all I'm done. And now, Mr. Speeker, as they say in the theatre, my performances have completed.

CXC.-VARIETIES.

1.-AN ELYSIUM.

1. SOME "feller," with a hankering after an elysium, "sighs his soul away" in the following poetic effusion : "Oh is there not a happy land—

A land beyond the seas

Where pot-pie smokes in roundless lakes,

And dumplings grow on trees:

Where ginger bread is found in sticks,

And smearcase' by the ton,

And when you do a job of work,

You get the 'ready John?'
Where Nature's lessons may be read,

In every bubbling brook,

Where bumble bees don't sting a chap,

And mully cows don't hook?”

2.-A NEW READING.

1. In a boarding-school not far from Boston the rector was accustomed to require the smaller boys to read every evening, before going to bed, a chapter of the New Testa ment-each a verse. One of the boys, who prided him self on his elocutionary ability, and frequently neglected orthography for emphasis, had fall to him one evening the verse: And Herod laid hold on John." Rising gracefully, and mistaking the in the third word for an s, he thundered out: "And Herod said, hold on, John!"

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3.-A POLITE MAN.

1. INDEED, my friends, far better it would seem
Were you to choose the opposite extreme:
Like one "Down East" who an umbrella took
And from the rain gave shelter to a duck:
Who to a limping dog once lent his arm,
And to a setting hen said, “Don't rise, ma'am ;"
Nor e'er to lifeless things respect did lack—
Said always to a chair, "Excuse my back;"
"Excuse my curiosity," he said to books;
And to the looking-glass, "Excuse my looks."

4.-WHY DIGGEST THOU ?

1. "OLD man, for whom diggest thou this grave?"
I asked as I walked along;

For I saw in the heart of London streets

A dark and busy throng.

'Twas a strange, wild deed, but a wilder wish
Of the parted soul, to lie,

'Mid the troubled numbers of living men

Who would pass him idly by.

So I said, "For whom diggest thou this grave,
In the heart of London town?"

And the deep-toned voice of the digger replied-
"We're laying a gas-pipe down.”

5.-JOSH BILLINGS ON BUMBLE BEES.

1. THE Bumble Bee iz one ov naturs sekrets. They probably have a destiny tew fill, and are probably necessary, if a fellow only knew how. They liv apart from the rest ov mankind, in little circles, numbering about 75 or 80 souls. They are born about haying time, and are different from enny bug I kno ov: they are the biggest when they are fust born. They resemble sum men in this respekt. Their principle bizziness iz making poor honey, but they don't make enny to sell.

2. Boys sumtimes rob them ov a whole summers work; but thare iz one thing about a bumbel bee that boys alwuz watch cluss and that iz their helm. I had rather not have awl the bumbel bee honey thare iz between here and the city of Jerusalem, than to have a bumbel bee hit me with his helm, when he cums round sudden. They are different from other war vessels: the helm alwuz minds the bumble bee.

CXCI.-DRAMATIC STYLES.

BLACKWOOD'S MAG.

1. In dramatic writing, the difference between the Grecian and Roman styles is very great. When you deal with a Greek subject, you must be very devout, and have unbounded reverence for Diana of the Ephesians. You must also believe in the second sight, and be as solemn, calm, and passionless, as the ghost of Hamlet's father. Never descend to the slightest familiarity, nor lay off the stilts for a moment; and, far from calling a spade a spade, call it That sharp instrument

With which the Theban husbandman lays bare
The breast of our great mother.