While with the Regiment, talking to the officers and men in front of the colonel's tent, Company D drum beat the call for dinner. The men, ever ready, fell in in single file for their rations. The Governor, wishing to dine with the boys, called for plate, knife, fork, and tin cup-dishes used at that time by the soldiers-walked toward the head of the company to get in the line, that he might not have to wait until the last to be served. He attempted to get into the line, when a fellow took him by the shoulder and politely pushed him away, saying, "No you don't, old fellow; you take your turn here." The Governor saw the joke, as well as the force of the fellow's argument, and retired with a hearty laugh to the rear of the company, got his dinner (when his turn came), ate it like a true soldier, then left us. Since that time he has had the pleasure of giving the same soldier a lieutenant's commission, and I know he never signed one for a braver or better man. THIS comes from Portland, Oregon: Charles Hone is a druggist in this place, and is a first-rate, genial, good-fellow, and would be decidedly good-looking but for his nose, which is of Titanic proportions, and is the occasion of numerous jokes. A short time since Charley visited the flourishing little town of Salem, and one day while standing on the sidewalk an honest-looking farmer came near, and looking intently at Charley, stopped; then came nearer and stopped again; presently he spoke: "Say, Mister, ain't you from Portland ?" "Certainly," replied Charley. girls." One evening they had a party something more than a mile from the village, and among the girls was one E S―, who was not particularly interesting; and while the guests were "putting on their things" in the entry with only one candle, Prentice, eager to go home with one of the pretty girls, locked in with ES, supposing he had the arm of one of the most interesting girls of the place, and rushed out of the house, followed by the rest of the company. While walking along Prentice tried all the means in his power to engage his lady in conversation, but to no avail. Her answers were Yes or No-none other could he get. Finally, giving up in despair, he turned round to one of his companions and asked, "Who have I got here?" His companion, seeing the joke, left him as wise as ever. So on they went till they got to the village, and on through the village till they had walked something more than half a mile beyond, when Prentice made bold to ask his lady where she lived. "Oh! we live back at the village." So they turned about, and Prentice took her home. But that was not the last that he heard of it; the circumstance was thrown in his teeth very often, and he was obliged to cry for quarter. ONE of the "escort corps" with the Western emigrant trains writes to the Drawer from Oregon: Those who have crossed the plains can not have failed to notice these two facts, viz., the extreme scarceness of wood and prevalence of high winds. Consequently it was often difficult to pitch the tents, and still more difficult to keep them so, especially when tent-pins were scarce. The breakage or loss "Well, I thought I seen that nose down there," of a tent-pin was a serious casualty. One afternoon was the answer. HERE is a rather cool letter from a loving wife, yet by no means among the coolest that we constantly receive: with his money. and DEAR HARPER,-It is Bob's birthday the — of I have taken a fancy to give him a present, not purchased You see he is constantly giving me presents, and I can not return it, not even the value of a new handkerchief, unless with the money he gives me. And although I have enough at any time, unquestioned, to buy what I would like to give him, still I thought it would be so different if I could only feel that it was my money. This is why I have written this little story, and if you will please send me something for it, whether you publish it or not, why then I can get Bobby's present. There's a dear old Harper! Do be generous. I shall spend just what you send and no more; and then I will write and tell you what I bought, and what Bob said, and all about it. And you will not wait, will you? for I want to buy it this month. What shall it be? P.S.-Bob must not know any thing about it. It strikes us that if we should "send something" in case we did not publish the story the present to Bob would be from us, not from the affectionate there arose one of those sudden gusts of wind so common on the plains, and away went the tents, snapping the tent-pins as if they had been pipestems. One of the escort proceeded to gather up the broken fragments of the pins, and lay them in a row; then, with mock solemnity and head uncovered, said to those who had gathered round, "An opportunity is now given to those who wish to see the remains." The laugh which followed the undertaker's happy hit put us in a good humor again, if it did fill our mouths with sand. INCLOSED please find a correct copy of notice posted at Muncy Station, Lycoming County, Pennsylvania: "Feare notes on all hoo consorn we as supervisor from clinton township give notes that all hoo hald them loaks in the road bittwen Peter Bergers house and Peter Keltner store have to moove them within six day from this day march the 9 1865 and if thare are not mooved till the 20 or then we will sellem on that day for township purpos all what is within 17 feet the supervisors." THE Act of Congress of May 6, 1864, prescribing a new system for ascertaining the tonnage of vessels, causes considerable perplexity, not only among shipowners and seamen, but also Government officials. At a port on the east end of Long Island is an inspector of customs-a king among his fellows, if not a Solomon in wisdom-who visited the port of New York and learned it all. Upon his return he condescended to explain the mode of measurement to several intimate friends, and had a great deal to say about the "transversaria." Our good and worthy Postmaster, a more lettered man, told him there was no such word as "transversaria" to be found either in Webster or Worcester, and asked an explana tion, but received only ridicule for his want of knowledge. Another friend coming in also questioned the correctness of the word, when our "Coastwise Inspector," as he sometimes signed himself, gravely informed him that it was a "legal term," and consequently not much used. Our friend, the inspector, when in New York, had heard the two words transverse area pronounced rapidly, and, supposing them one word, had been betrayed by the euphonism into using the "legal term" too often. A FORMER Colonel of one of the bravest veteran regiments from Indiana, when just out, had occasion once to march his regiment, then in column, through an opening in a fence a little to the right of the point in front of them. The order, fresh in his mind from Hardee, came thundering forth, "Right or left OB-LI-QUE, as the case may be-march!" ANOTHER order, from the commander of a Kentucky regiment, though perhaps exhibiting less recollection of "The Tactics," was given in a form to be understood. The idea was to deploy at skirmishers: the order was, "Get up there on the hill, and scatter out as you did yesterday!" of tings, and I goes up to W, where de army is, and I sells every ting tear, and I cheats de soldiers, and I makes 250 tollar, and den-" "Stop a minute, Snitz," said the Doctor; "what sort of stuff was that cough mixture ?" "Very goot medicine, Doctor; I never tastes him. I buys him for four tollar for one tozen bottles, and I sells him for one tollar a bottle, and de soldiers all likes him, and ven dey trinks him dey laughs and dey sings, and sometimes, ven dey trinks too much of de medicine, dey don't walk straight, and-" "Oh!" says the Doctor, "Tangle-foot.' Go on." "Vell, Doctor, I goes back to de city, and I buys more stock, and comes back again, and I makes more monies; and I keeps on so a long times, and all de times I sells very tear; and after while I goes down to buy more stock, and I have plenty monies, plenty, my tear Doctor. I has dree tousand five hunder tollar, and I goes down to Mr Smit and Brown, and I tells Mr. Brown I buys so much stock, and dis time Mr. Brown he say, my tear Mr. Snitz, I am so glad to see you. You takes a glass goot wine with me, and I takes him. Vell, I comes back, and I'ze very lucky, and I sells every ting, and I has six tousand tollar. My goot Doctor, I A LOT of us were sitting, one fine spring day, in tells you every ting. I has my money, and I gets the office of Dr. W——— in the city of B— We on de train to come home, and we starts, and all were talking and smoking quietly, when suddenly is well; but pretty soon, bime-by, someting goes a something rushed in, gesticulating violently, and just like this-Boomp!-and we stops still, and then giving utterance to the most outlandish sounds. about one hunder tousand peeble on de great big This individual-for we found out he was a man-white horses, with a great big brass band, who merits a little description. He was a cross, evi- plays dis song: dently, between a Jew, a Dutchman, a Gorilla, and a Lunatic; and he looked like an old clo'man, a peddler, a tinker, a confidence man, and a dollarjewelry man, massed and rolled into one. And what a nose he had!-too long for any description. “What is it, Snitz ?” said Dr. W—. sick?" "Oh no, Doctor, worser'n dat!" "Who's been here since I been gone? Who's been here since I been gone?" "Oh, Doctor, it was de blame Secesh! and pretty soon one big man come to me, and he say, 'Who are you?' and I say, 'My goot frient, I am a poor, hardworking, goot man, and I lives in B, where I to "Oh, Doctor, Doctor!"-he spoke in the vernacu-supports my wife and my dirteen childers, and my lar this time—“I bese in a heap of troubles! Yes, faders and my mudders, and my grandfaders and a big heap!" my grandmudders.' And he say, 'What are you “Baby doin' h'yar?' and I say, 'My goot frient, I bese the Sanitary Commission, and I comes up to Whelp the soldiers what be shot.' And den I lie a little, and I say, 'I'm all right; when I gits de chance I helps de gray soldier better than de blue soldier.' And den he look in my eye, and he say, Gammon!' and den, my goot Doctor, I shake, and den he say, 'Nosey, whar's yer pockit-book?' Oh, den, mit a big brass pistol he takes my six tousand tollar!" 66 Any of your children sick?" "Worser'n dat!" "Then your wife must be very sick?" "No, no, Doctor; tousand times worser'n dat!" "Snitz, my friend,” said Dr. W—, "if there is any thing the matter, and you want help, you will have to be cool, and tell me the trouble direct and to the point." "Vell, my goot Doctor, I tells you my troubles, and sees if you helps me. Doctor, you knows bese one goot, hard working, honest man. I picks up rags, and scraps, and things, and I bese one goot man. One day, down on the wharf, I finds one pair old pants, and I puts 'em in my pag, and I goes on, and when it comes night I goes home, and I looks over my tings what I finds; and den, Doctor, vat you tinks, in de pocket, de watch-pocket, of de old pair pants, I finds one piece paper, and, my goot Doctor, he bese one hunder tollar greenback. Oh, den I feels so goot! and I says to me, Now, Snitz, I makes your fortunes! And de next morning I goes down to de wharf, to Mr. Smit and Brown's; and Mr. Brown he know me, and he say, 'Vell, old rags, vat can I do for you?' and I say, Mr. Brown, I want to buy one hunder tollar wort stock; and I buys my stock of ginger-bread, and Bolong sausage, and combs, and cough medicine, and lots Is it necessary for me to say that we all contributed, and in a moment raised the sum so cruelly stolen, and made Mr. Snitz once more serene? Oh no; of course not. But I'm in error. Tom Shunt didn't give any thing-except his advice. Said he, "Snitz, son of thy father, hearken unto me; be not cast down, but let thy heart rejoice. Why, old cock," says Tom, lapsing into everyday English, "you've got a fortune about you now; it's right before your eyes. Don't you see it?" Snitz shakes his head. "He knows it not!" cries Thomas. "Why, with that nose you ought to smell out every thing in the world, and under it either, for that matter. An idea strikes me-go in the oil business; with your nose you can find the petroleum, and I can say you are a good borer-in fact, I consider you a great bore! Take my blessing, Snitz, and go in for 'ile!'" A CORRESPONDENT in Idaho Territory sends to the Drawer some sketches to illustrate the beauties | length, the Judge becoming wearied with him, of legal practice in that embryo State: Peter B. Smith is one of the judges in Idaho Territory, and in his peculiar way is a very original and eccentric personage. During a term of court held by him at Idaho City, in Boise County, not long since, a number of laughable incidents occurred, in which his Honor figured as the most prominent personage. On one occasion two attorneys had an important motion to argue before the Court. Long before the first had concluded his two-and-a-half-hours' argument the Judge began to show evident signs of weariness; and soon after the second had commenced to reply the judicial head, upon which the hopes of both contestants were solely placed, declined upon the Judge's breast, and remained in statu quo for about half an hour. Silence prevailed in the court-room, and an occasional faint sound, suspiciously resembling a semi-snore, was the only audible interruption to the legal gentleman who was arguing his client's case. Finally arousing to consciousness, the Judge slowly raised his head, rubbed his eyes, and, after an apparently vain effort to comprehend the condition of affairs, slowly and dubiously asked the counsel speaking: "Judge S―, which side of this case are you argerin on?" It is needless to add that argument was not much farther "in linked sweetness long drawn out." He was an excellent Judge for applicants for divorces, seldom or never failing to grant a decree to the party applying, particularly if a woman. One case of this nature coming on for trial before him, after repeated efforts of counsel for the defense to obtain a continuance, the evidence given by one of the witnesses for the plaintiff being trivial and immaterial, the plaintiff's counsel persisted in asking leading questions. To one of these one of the attorneys for the defendant objected. "State the grounds of your objection," said the Court. "May it please your Honor, I have fourteen distinct and separate grounds of objection to that question in the form in which it is put by the learned counsel, any one of which, if decided in my favor, will be fatal to the question in that form, the first and least of which is that it is leading the witness," replied the attorney. "The Court will hear you argue those grounds of objection, Mr. M," urbanely replied the Judge. "I do not desire to consume unnecessarily the time of the Court, and would therefore prefer not to argue all the grounds of objection stated at length," answered the counsel. said, "The Court will sit to hear that case, Sir, at precisely twelve o'clock to-night." When twelve o'clock P.M. arrived the anxious attorney repaired to the court-house, but all was as dark as the tomb of the Capulets. The Judge was at the theatre, and could never be prevailed upon again during the term to set that case. IN a New England village they hold a monthly prayer-meeting for our gallant soldiers, taking contributions for the sick, etc. At one of these, while the first Wilmington expedition to take Fort Fisher was under way, it was proposed to offer prayer for its success; but one enthusiastic brother, who was a great believer in Butler, arose and remarked, in substance, that it was well enough to pray for some of the other objects of the war, but as for the Wilmington expedition, that was a sure thing! The poor man must have felt bad at the result, but he was right at last-and "all's well that ends well." A CORRESPONDENT in Omaha, Nebraska, writes to the Drawer: In the District Court Records of Douglas County are the proceedings of a meeting of the bar, which was convened to express their views and pass resolutions in reference to the death of Judge Hall, Chief Justice of Nebraska. After eloquent eulogies, and the usual resolutions of condolence, it was resolved that the proceedings and resolutions be spread on the journal of the court by the secretary, which was accordingly done. The entry concluded as follows: "On motion of J. M. W, Esq., the funeral adjourned sine die!" FROM Dubuque, Iowa, a friend writes: A well-known lawyer of this city being sent for to counsel some men accused of horse-stealing, in the jail at Waverley, Bremer County, in this State, was sent for also by an Irishman in another room in the same prison. "Well, Pat, what do you want with me?" "Your Honor, I just heard there was a lawyer in jail, and sure I wanted to see him." "Well, what do you want with me?" "An' what should I want wid you but to get me me out of this." "And what are you here for ?" "Just for burglary I belave they call it ?" "And what is the testimony against you?" "And niver a bit at all. Only I tould the Justice of the Pace meself that I did it." "Well, if you have confessed it, I don't see but what you'll have to stay here." "An' is it that you say? Sure, now, and in the "The Court will compel you to argue," respond- counthry I came from nivir a bit would they kape ed the Judge, with severe dignity. any body in jail on such a thrifling ividence as that!" "In that case I have only to observe, preliminarily, that the argument of each of those fourteen grounds of objection will require two and a half hours. The first, may it please the Court, as already stated, is—" "Mr. Sheriff, adjourn this Court; the Court is going to the theatre to-night, and it is now past the time," exclaimed the Judge in dismay; and Court was accordingly adjourned. THERE was a very large calendar of civil causes, and one attorney was extremely pertinacious in making repeated applications to have a particular case in which he was interested set for trial. At I AM an old resident of Oregon, and was for many years a constituent of Jo L, at one time Oregon's greatest politician. I propose telling the readers of the Drawer one of his electioneering dodges, and how nicely he got caught at it. Uncle Jo was about to make a speech to the unterrified on Long Tom, and stopped at Tom Brown's for dinner. He knew Tom to be a little shaky-in fact, quite inclined to be anti-L, and Uncle Jo determined to bring him over. As soon as he entered the house he commenced his usual tactics: "Well, God bless you, Mrs. Brown! how do you do, and how are all the little ones?" After kissing the dirty brood all round, he asks for mother's pipe. "If there is any thing I do like, it is to smoke mother's pipe; it's got some strength into it, and does a feller some good. Bythe-by, Mrs. Brown, they say Tom is going to vote agin me. I hope he won't. He and I have fit Indians together up on Rogue River, and camped out in the mountains, and been good friends and Dimercrats ever sence we came to Oregon." Presently dinner is ready, and they have pork and beans, of course. Mrs. Brown is sorry they have nothing better. But says Uncle Jo, "You could not have any thing better; bless your soul, we don't have any thing half so good in Washington. Why my friend the President would give half his salary to get such beans as these. Have you got a pint you could spare?—I would so like to take them to him for seed!" "We've got bushels of them," says Mrs. Brown. "Well, now, how lucky! If you will do up a pint of them, I will put them in my saddle-bags and take them on to Mr. Buchanan, and I would not be surprised if it were the means of Tom getting one of the best offices in the State." So the beans were put up and stowed away in Uncle Jo's saddle-bags, and Tom's vote and influence were made all sure. hater of the weed. The latter, after delivering himself freely to a company of the brethren about tobacco chewers and smokers, in ignorance of B's weakness, appealed to him to sustain his views. "Certainly," said B; "you are right, brother; I agree with you entirely; for I never see a cigar that I don't feel just like burning it up!" IN 1854 and 1855 Colonel C. A. May, U.S.A., was in command of the frontier post Fort M'Kavitt, Texas, about two miles from which place there was a settler named Shellenberger, who was as verdant a specimen of the genus homo as could be found in the State. The said Shellenberger was very troublesome to the Colonel, often begging him to send out scouting parties to hunt up horses, etc., stolen from him by the Indians. The Colonel, after several attempts to recover his stolen property without success, finally refused to be humbugged any more by him. One morning (after the Lipan Indians had stolen two fine horses from old Shellenberger) I was accosted by him, and after relating the facts of the theft of his horses he said, in a very emphatic manner, "Tell Colonel May that if he don't send out a scout after my horses I will write to General Wash In about a week Tom and his wife go up to Eu-ington, and he will make him do it." gene, to visit Tom's sister, Mrs. Smith. Uncle Jo had been there, and made a first-rate impression. Mrs. Smith tells Mrs. Brown "What a nice gentleman Squire L-is; so kind and sociable like; and then he thinks so much of Smith! Would you believe it, he brought us a pint of beans all the way from Washington, the very kind the President has on his table!" THE following was told to the Drawer by a friend who says he was an eye-witness to the affair: Just before the capture of Savannah General Logan, with two or three of his staff, entered the dépôt at Chicago, one fine morning, to take the cars east, on his way to rejoin his command. The General, being a short distance in advance of the oth At this Mrs. Brown begins to smell a very big ers, stepped upon the platform of a car, about to mice. Says she, enter it, but was stopped by an Irishman with, "Becase thims a leddies caer, and no gintleman 'll be goin' in there widout a leddy. There's wan sate in that caer over there, ef yees want it," at the same time pointing to it. "Yes," replied the General, "I see there is one seat, but what shall I do with my staff?" "Oh! bother your schtaff!" was the petulant re of Jane Brown's calico dress. This produced an ex- ply. "Go you and take the sate, an' schtick yer plosion. Brown and Smith at once became anti-schtaff out the windy." L, and worked hard to defeat him. Messrs. Brown and Smith were a host in themselves. They canvassed Long Tom and Eugene so thoroughly that Uncle Jo had not the ghost of a chance in those precincts. WHEN the rebels began this fight they thought they had us, and it was a safe thing. Now they are in the same fix with the men who caught a bear. Two men were out hunting, and a bear came on them so suddenly that they dropped their guns and took to their heels. One of them climbed a tree, and the other managed to get the bear by the tail, and ran round and round as the bear turned and tried to get him. At length the man cried out to his friend in the tree, "I say, John, come down and help!" "Help! What can I do?" "Why, help me let go of this bear!" THE Rev. GB, whose wit and eccentricity gave him a wide notoriety in these parts, was an inveterate smoker. At one time, being in attendance on a Convention at Quincy, he fell in company with the Rev. C, who was an intense CAPTAIN C, of Hadlyme, Connecticut, had a very clever man in his employ, by the name of Marsh. One day he came alongside the ship in a small boat; a line was thrown to assist him in reaching the deck. When nearly up the rope parted, and he fell back into the boat. Says the Captain, "Marsh, did it hurt you much?" He replied, whining, "I never was hurt so bad in so short a time!" ANDY K- was a butcher in Louisville some years ago, and supplied steamboats on the river with meat. One day he was met by Captain John M'D, a steamboat agent, who informed him that the steamer J. H. Done (which was indebted to Andy a large amount) would be down the next day, as he (M'D) had just received a telegraphic dispatch from Brooks, the clerk, to that effect. "I don't believe it," said Andy. "Well, there is the dispatch," said Captain M'D, showing it. "That's a fact," said Andy; "that's Brooks's handwriting as sure as a gun!" IT PRISON-LIFE. out of the question-directed principally by the sound of musketry, which was rapidly increasT was during the fight of May 6, in the Vir- ing, upon rising a slight knoll I was greeted ginia Wilderness, while taking an order to by the whiz of half a dozen musket-balls, all of General Owen, whose command held an ad- which, most fortunately, passed overhead, and vanced position, immediately after the Second the requests to "Surrender," "Come in here, Corps had been flanked by Longstreet and com- Yank," and others, the meaning of which could pelled to fall back to the ground it occupied in not be mistaken, some couched in terms more the morning, that I was made a prisoner. Push- expressive than elegant. A look revealed a line ing as rapidly through the dense woods as it was of battle scarcely a rod from me, and that any possible to do on foot-for to ride was almost attempt to retreat was certain death. My sword Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1865, by Harper and Brothers, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Southern District of New York. VOL. XXXI.-No. 182.-K |