APPENDIX.

EXTRACTS FROM THE PRIVATE PAPERS, JOURNALS, ETC., OF MRS. JOANNA BETHUNE.

A DAY OF SORROW.

New York, September 21st, 1824. SEPTEMBER 18th, at eight o'clock in the evening, it pleased an all-wise God to take to Himself my beloved husband, and to write upon me, the happiest of wives, WIDOW. To this day I have never been able to look, and often thought I could not bear it; yet the day is come. The Lord has taken away the desire of my eyes with a stroke. Although I can not say that I neither mourn nor weep, nor that my tears do not run down, yet I am enabled to kiss the hand that smites, and to say, "Thy will be done." "The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."

I desire to record the goodness of God to my dear husband, in making all his bed in his sickness, in placing underneath him the everlasting arms, in allowing him to lean upon his Master's bosom, and sweetly to fall asleep in Jesus, without an agonizing struggle, without even the movement of a muscle, hand or foot. And now the conflict is past. His work is

done, and well done, and his longing desire is satisfied. "Let me go home. Let me go to my Savior. My race is run; my work is done. Let me go."

And now, O thou Infinite Jehovah, before whom I have been pouring out my soul by the bed upon which my beloved husband resigned his happy spirit, I claim Thy promise that Thou, my Maker, will be my husband, and counsel and direct me in every duty before me. I can no longer ask my husband, and receive aid and counsel from him, in every difficulty, as I have done for twenty-nine years; but if Thou lift upon me the light of Thy countenance, and make Thy Word a light to my feet and a lamp to my path, I can not err. I have now no idol to draw off my affections from Thee. My daughters find rest in the houses of their husbands. My son, if spared, will settle in life; but the widow will sit desolate. O grant, then, that I may be a widow indeed. Lord, Thou knowest the difficulties before me. Counsel, direct, and enable me to perform them all with a single eye to Thy glory. May I never disgrace Thy name, nor the name of him who is sleeping in the dust.

O Lord, while I ask the forgiveness of my trespasses, enable me to forgive others their trespasses. And now, Lord, this 21st of September, 1824, I solemnly devote myself to Thee, in my new character of widow, and claim all the promises to such in Thy precious Bible. I desire to sit desolate as to man, and to be presented as a chaste virgin unto Thee. I de

sire to glorify Thee in this hot furnace, to see Thy hand in my bereavement. Henceforth I devote myself to Thee-soul, body, and estate, all that I have, and all that I am. O, my covenant God, help me to be faithful to this dedication; and, as my blessed love told me, to live near to God. He told me I idolized him. I feel I did. But my idol Thou hast taken away; my gourd Thou hast withered. Lord, help me, or I perish.

O Lord, look on the children of Thy servant and Thy handmaid. Sanctify this affliction to them and to their children; and, when their father and their mother are sleeping in the dust, may they, as he said, do their parts, and all be gathered home at last, where all tears shall be wiped from our eyes, and where sorrow and sighing shall forever flee away. Amen. Come, Lord Jesus! come quickly!

Sabbath evening, October 3d, 1824. O Lord, I am indeed in a new situation. Accustomed to lean upon the kindest, the tenderest of husbands, who provided for all my wants, who felt for all my troubles, who bore with my weaknesses and faults, and who, I fear, occupied the place in my heart which Thou only ought to fill; but now that Thou hast cut down my idol, Thou hast withered my gourd, I feel desolate. I have now not only the charge of managing property, and sworn that I will faithfully fulfill the trust reposed in me, but I have

a mercantile concern to attend to, being sole heir and sole executrix, and my beloved husband having left no partner. Lord, help me in this trying season. I have had an example before me, to spread every thing before the Lord; of recording texts and promises, and pleading them in faith, and looking for the answer. I draw near to Thee, O my God, in present difficulties. Thou knowest them all. I will record some Scriptures, and leave them before Thee for Thy answer the cxliii. Psalm throughout, viewing the enemies mentioned in it as spiritual enemies. Prov., iv., 11, 12, 13: Do Thou so to me, O Lord. O, do Thou teach me the way of wisdom, and lead me in right paths. When I go, let not my steps be straitened; and when I run, suffer me not to stumble. May I take fast hold of instruction, and keep her as my life. Isaiah, xli., 10: Fear not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God. I will strengthen thee, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness; v. 13: For I the Lord will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

Sabbath, February 6, 1825.

Heb., xi., 1: Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. The whole chapter gives a clear view of the faith of the believer.

O, my gracious covenant God, I desire, on this