-The Rochester Union says, that the institution of slavery" in the South is a thing of the "past." In no otherwise, sir, than the Constitution of your country is a thing of the past. It is conceded that Mr. Lincoln has stolen a hundred and fifty thousand "slaves," or, put it at two hundred thousand; but even if he had stolen every "slave" in the South, that would not abolish the institution. That will not be abolished, not by us, certainly, until we abolish those States. How much of this kind of foolishness is talked here in the North!

-Madam De Steal wrote a novel in which she satirised Tallyrand as a fussy old woman. The next time they met in a large company, Tallyrand said to her, "Madam, I am told you have written a book in which you and I are disguised as females." A less gifted, but a more disagreeable and impudent woman than Madam De Steal, Mrs. Harriet Beecher Stow, we hear, is writing another book, m which Lincoln and herself, and several other parties, are to be disguised as patriots.

-Mr. Blow, abolition member for Missouri, in a late speech in Congress, said, "This is an Abolition Government, and this is an Abolition Congress, and the army is an Abolition army." All true enough Mr. Blow, except that the army is not, in itself, Abolition, but is used, or misused, for that guilty purpose.

--A retired General, who was two years in the war, and had the discretion to keep himself out of battle, and is now retired from old age, upon a fat ofice, to which the Abolitionists have elected him, is in the habit of boasting that he "never enjoyed anything co much in his life as a battle." He must mean that he enjoyed it at that sublime point where

"Distance lends er chan ment to the view."

His love of battles must be purely poetical, like that of the prince, pirate, and poet, who followed the age of Ossian, Regnor Lodbrog, who was as great a coward as rogue, and said, "The battle is as grateful to me as the smile of a virgin in the bloom of youth; as the kiss of a young widow in a retired apartment." But Regnor Lodbrog did all his fighting in his verses, as our famous drawing-room General does his in sweet chit-chat with the ladies.

--A member of Congress who says things in his speeches which all his friends know he does not believe, gives as an excuse that he cannot help the common frailty of desiring to be popular. That is, he does foolish things for the sake of pleasing foolish peopla. In such cases the fool and his honor are soon parted. Such fellows resemble a bursting squib with this motto under it: peream dum luceam-"let me perish if I do but shine."

-Sir Henry Wotton defined an ambassador, "one who is sent to lie for the good of his country." If Sir Henry lived in this country at the present time, he would defino a Congressman, a white man who is sent to Washington to lie for the benfit of negroes.

-That great ornament of the English Bench, Chief Justice Holt, once replied to an earnest entreaty to stretch a point of law a little, in a case where equity evidently demanded it: "We cannot alter the law till the law-makers direct us; we must conform to the law, as it is at present, not what it will be to-morrow; we are upon our oaths so to do." How unlike a great majority of Judges in our country, who have allowed themselves to become the truculent tools of usurpation and despotism.

-The Boston Advertiser says, that "President Lincoln is doing the best he can, under the circumstances, to execute the Constitution." There is no doubt of it, and he has pretty thoroughly executed it, too.

-Wendel Phillips, in his last lecture in New York, said: "It is time that we knew where we are going." If he keeps on a little farther, the devil will tell him all about it.

--Pliny describes a race of men with heads like dogs, who barked instead of speaking. To read the attempts at speaking of some of Mr. Lincoln's new bayonet-elected members of Congress, one might conclude that he had found some of the descendants of Pliny's barking men. They must be a sorry set of adventurers, or they would never pretend to represent a constituency which they know would sooner send them to the gallows than to Congress, if they had their free way about it.

-A French writer, in referring to the interminable pages of Mr. Seward's diplomatio correspondence, thinks their author wrote

thus voluminously with the vanity of supposing he was writing for posterity." But how, we should like to know, does a man expect to reach posterity with such heavy baggage?

-The New York World says, "There can no longer be any reasonable doubt that the very large army which has been called for by the President is intended, not to put down the rebellion, but to re-elect himself." And yet, believing this, the World is for giving Mr. Lincoln more men, to be used for this same purpose. The World states the case correctly, but yet what cheek it has to advise the Democratic party to place more money and men at the disposal of the usurper and despot!

-The Citizen, an able paper published at Frederick, Maryland, alluding to the policy of the Administration to allow no real Marylander to vote in that State, says: "We are progressing-the FATE of Maryland can not yet be read. There is or will be a futureand we say to men who revere the institutions of our fathers-DESPAIR NOT-be patientwait for the HEREAFTER!" But the thought is indeed a sad one, that a once free people must wait so long to revenge their wrongs. There is never so good a time o throttle despotism as at its start. Every hour of delay is the loss of the people, or the gain of the despot. We have no doubt the day will come when Maryland will again be free-when the Scoundrels whom Lincoln has sent into the State to control it, will flee; but the redemption will doubtless come through blood.

-The editor of a Republican paper in New Jersey amuses his readers with libels upon the editor of THE OLD GUARD. He is the type of his class. Before he became an editor, he was a wretched country pedagogue, his body full of mercury, and covered fro head to foot with ulcers and ointments, who looked as though he had escaped from his surgeon at the risk of his life, to peddle obscene books in a neighboring county. Lazarus was an Adonis compared to him; but the dogs did not lick his sores; or if they did, they died.

---A gentleman whose acquaintance we had the pleasure of making in London, a few years ago, asks, "what will your children think when they come to read the history of your country under the Administration of Mr.

Lincoln ?" They will think they are reading the history of highwaymen.

-A Maine paper calls Ben. Butler "a cutthroat." Yea, and is he not a cut-purse as well? When Banks was appointed to succeed him, he declared that he would find New Orleans "a squeezed lemon." If in nothing else, he is bold in one thing--he does not blush to boast of his crimes.

[ADVERTISEMENT.]

-Dr. Didymus Shoddy, L. G. S. O. T. R. A. O. A. T. F., begs leave to inform the citizens of the happy United States, that he has made the most valuable and astonishing discoveries in medical science, which enable him to be very useful to his fellow-men in this new and improved condition of society. His Grand Reduciug Plaster, if applied to the feet, hands, or ears, will, in a short time, reduce the size of those organs, as if by magic. The benign effects of the new dispensation are seen in the sudden elevation to places of wealth and power of thousands who were born, under the providence of Almighty God, in the lower ranks of life, and who are forced, by that same Divine Providence, to take the evidences of their low origin along with them into their new and elevated spheres. Dr. Shoddy's wonderful Plaster entirely overcomes the effects of low birth and of Divine Providence in a few hours, and leaves the patient rejoicing in the possession of these sure signs of good blood-small feet, hands and ears. Ladies, especially the wives of contractors, who find it impossible to get diamond rings over the joints of their fingers, will find this a safe and invaluable remedy. Price $100 in greenbacks, or $200 in gold.

Dr. Shoddy is permitted to refer to Abraham Lincoln, who is now under treatment, to ex-Mayor Oydyke, Park Godwin, Gen. Butler, and Judge Busteed.

POSTSCRIPT 1. Presuming that the unlearned may not be able to understand Dr. Shoddy's titles, he begs to say that they mean, Late Grand Surgeon of the Army of Abraham The First.

POSTSCRIPT 2. Dr. Shoddy's motives for charging $100 more in gold than in greenbacks are purely patriotic, to encourage the Government currency.