nesses are true to the life, and the autographs actually superior to the originals. The accompanying Biographical Sketches were penned from authentic documents by a distinguished member of the legal persuasion. THE CORPORAL was ushered into existence at an early period of his life. His pugnacious disposition manifested itself by flogging his nurse and kicking over a tea cup when he was three days old, for which transgression he was visited by extreme corporal punishment. Under the stern discipline of his father he gradually waxed fat, but was always fond of "playing soldier" and "training" generally. The great event of his life was the daring expedition against Cuba, from the effects of which that beautiful Island has hardly yet recovered. With a horse pistol in his hands he scaled the walls of the great Moro Castle, spiked all the guns, stole three large jack-knives and proclaimed himself Captain-General. He, however, soon abdicated at the point of the bayonet, but sweetened the memory of his brief and unfortunate reign by a sugar speculation, from which he realized a competence sufficient to set up his Ebenezer here. The Corporal. MEERSCHAUM sprang, like Venus, from the foam of the sea. At the earliest period of his existence he was found floating up the waters of the Mississippi. Youth was a stage unknown to him, as his faculties flourished in full vigor from the hour of his birth. Endowed with a princely fortune, which was bequeath Meerschaum. ed to him by the Wandering Jew, whom he met on the banks of the Burrampooter, he has been enabled to visit the greater part of the Western Continent; and finally, wearied of these exciting scenes, he has settled down into the quiet irregularities of college life. THE DOCTOR is a descendent of a celebrated Objibway Medicine man, named Na-ki-bo-kaw-gzpq-si-hob-jog, or 'Magical Pain-Extractor." He early became well grounded in the science of roots, and well rooted in the grounds of science. His yell is perfectly terrific, and "Shanghai" now possesses a tomahawk as a token of his undying affection. Having fortunately discovered "Dr. Townsend's Sarsaparilla" he obtained sufficient pelf to enter the sub The Doctor Freshman Class of Yale College. MISHKAN is a Hebrew Rabbi of the tribe of Jessie. His father was Bar-Jonah, and his mother was a female Hittite. With some slight variations he was brought up in the Jewish faith. His venerable beard, low-descending, sweeps his aged breast, and he reads the Talmud. Like most Jews, he has a great passion for old clothes, and rarely wears any other. Moreover, he is always asking for monish, for, unlike most of his race, he is more willing to borrow than to lend. He considers himself at present a scattered people, but proposes one day to re-conquer Jerusalem. By the exercise of his profession he obtained ten shekels of fine gold and three changes of goodly raiment, on which, and in which, he at present abides among the Philistines. Mishkan. SHANGHAI was born in China at the time of the full moon. Hence his face is remarkably full, and reddish rays proceed from its circumference. His father was a Mandarin with seventeen titles and eighteen wives, and a knowledge of half the letters of the Chinese alphabet. His mother was remarkable for her small feet; being only two inches and an eighth from the longest part of her heel to Shanghai. the extremity of her toe-nail. Shanghai's early years were distinguished by a devotion to small-footed girls, green tea, and general literature. He emigrated to this country in the celebrated Chinese Junk. Escaping from that vessel, he cut off his queue, learned the English language, and by the benevolence of an antiquated maiden, in whose breast his beauty and judgment of tea had awakened sentiments of love, he was sent to College, where he now flourishes. Long may he wave! Sometime since "Dr Wyckoff of Pittsburg, Pa., who will send a cure for Stammering to any part of the World on the receipt of $10," favored us with his Advertisement, accompanied by a printed letter, which we give verbatim et literatim et punctatim et spellatim et italicatim :— DEAR SIR : "Pittsburg, September 5th, 1856 On opposite page, please find manuscript of my Professional Card, which I wish you to publish in your Weekly Paper for one year, at customary terms for old and large advertisers. Being well acquainted with most of the papers personally, (and many others by reputation,) throughout the world, and being an adept in the art of advertising, I have selected your worthy sheet as being one of honor, and highly prised (as none other do I recognise,) by the moral and civil of our land,one whose light is never obscured by a bushel, and deeds its worthy deeds, have rendered it immortal, to be my guardian angel in a cause so glorious as this of which you humble servant is now a missionary, Dear Friend:-You know it would be impossible to corrispond with 11,000 persons monthly, (independent of professional corrispondents,) unless I monotonise, and therefore am obliged to pursue the method of having my communications printed. My connection with the press for over nine years, has dictated sufficiently, and I only address my manuscript to the moral and concientious. According to rule, I shall expect you to send me your paper regularly each week, so long as my advertisement is there inserted, and make no charge of the same: Draw on me for the amount of your bill (quarterly) in three months, and please give me an editorial notice. Refer to my endorsers as to my promptness in paying, and honor as a gentleman. Dr WYCKOFF." Perhaps this will satisfy the Dr. so far as the "editorial notice" is concerned. As no one in this region has either "stammering" or "$10," the "manuscript of his Professional Card" is omitted. The "guardian angel" recommends Brother Wyckoff to hold his peace-also his money, if anybody is fool enough to send him any. Some people besides Dr. W. write queer things when they advertise. Witness the following from the Tribune :— A YOUNG married Woman wishes to ADOPT a BABY. Is one month old. The husband is dead four months, having no home. Would be willing to give it to a kind lady that it would treat it as her own. Is a strong and healthy child, with light hair, blue eyes. Call at No. 308 Mottst., between Houston and Bleecker-st. Ah, well! a baby is a "crying evil" the best way you can fix it. Most likely the "anxious parient" has found accommodations for her "little innocent" ere this. We advise her not to get married again, however. While we are about it, just hear Phineas advertise: ARNUM'S AMERICAN MUSEUM. "the quarter to see It must be a hard-hearted man that would not give a other monster feed," especially when he is so very sure. that snake eat the next time we visit Gotham! So set your house in order, Mr. Barnum. Speaking of "shows" reminds us of some funny exhibitions which “ hung out their shingle " a month or two since on the State Fair grounds, between this goodly city and that blessed oyster-village which formerly bore the euphonious name of "Dragon," but which, in these degenerate days, men call "Fair Haven." The pictures upon the outside of the tent, and the fiddling and growling and swearing inside, were of the tallest kind. The "Bill of Fare," in big capitals, offered the following attractions: "TO BE SEEN FOR TWELVE CENS, A 2 LEGED HOG! THE GREATEST NATURAL CURIOSITY IN THE WORLD OR NO PAY!” Immediately beneath this startling announcement, there was a portrait of great animil," which looked like a mighty hen's egg lying horizontally, the " with two shoe-pegs stuck in towards the smaller end to represent the "2 leged" operation, a large daub of blue paint, just at the extremity, by way of a head, while from that portion which corresponded to the big end of the egg, there shot forth a caudal appendage which resembled the tail of a porcine comet wiggling and twisting and flaming its "devious way" through the indefinite regions of space. That "2 leged Hog" must have been a great swine. THOSE who have read the Knickerbocker for December (and who has not?) will remember some ridiculously ludicrous quotations which jolly "Old Knick" made from a little book that appeared in this city a few years ago, entitled "The Enemy Conquered; or, Love Triumphant. BY S. WATSON ROYSTON, Author of 'An Address,' &c., delivered at Cumming, Georgia, and Member of the Yale Law School." Now "we wish to have it distinctly understood," in the first place, that the immortal work above mentioned was "uttered" by Mr. T. H. Pease “whoso" in these latter days publisheth the great Yale Lit. Mag. ; in the second place, that the Publisher aforesaid has still on hand a few copies of "The Enemy Conquered," at the low price of 12 cents, with a liberal discount to families; and, in the third place, that we chance to have in our own hands at these present advices, positively the only surviving copy of "The Address, &c., delivered at Cumming Georgia," from which, as the renowned Author's greatest work, and one of whose beauties the public ought not longer to remain in ignorance, we shall proceed to make a few brief extracts. In the Preface he says: "After many solicitations, the Author has at length consented to the publication of an Address delivered in Cumming, Georgia, Feb. 1844, before a large and respectable assembly, upon the Rise and Progress of Society, and the Formation of Government; and should it contribute to the instruction or prosperity of any portion of the American people, he feels that it will soothe the last moments of his life with the pleasing reflection that he has not lived wholly in vain." O, no, "Mr. Royston of Cumming, Georgia" did not live wholly in vain,-"not by no means." Just listen: "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN:--How beautiful are the clouds of the morning, which seem like ruby gems set around with the most precious diamonds; the lark mounts towards them, and sings as if they were at heaven's pearly gates. How bright and lofty are the clouds at mid-day; high in the sky they hang to boast of their far-famed whiteness. At evening tide they again adorn the vaults of Immanuel, and beautify the far west with towers, and castles, high thrones and sublime palaces, which show forth like the topmost topaz of an ancient tower. At night when the moon shines upon them, when not a single breeze fans the mountain tops, they take all hues, and forms, and look white and pure, and when all is hushed to stillness, they move gently on, and seem like a little flock of lambs calmly sleeping." Baa-a-a-a-a! Where is the "gentle shepherdess ?" Have courage, good reader, and let us take another pull. "What new scene now takes place; what is that beginning to dawn in the east; what new sun is that skipping over the hills and leaping over the mountains, and spreading her light from the northern to the southern pole? It is the sublime invention and immortal gift of printing, that furnishes means of propagating intelligence, and conveying at one and the same instant, tidings to millions of the human race, and giving it that durability and pre-eminence which all the power of tyrants, and the combined forces of persecuting despots, has neither been able to suspend, supercede or abolish." Now behold him lead out "the great American Eagle" once more, and we are done with "Mr. Watson Royston, Author of an Address, &c." "In every child there is principle of an endless history. Let us compare the annals of the present, and the battles of the proudest nations, with that of one non ending existence. Assyria stretched out her colossal limbs and fell ignobly like the vaunting champion upon the plains of Elah; Egypt came boldly with temple and pyramid, shield and buckler, but fell, sunk, rose, declined, and at last withered at the feet of the Turk. O! Greece, immortal name, so long the light of the world, towered upon the pinions of fame; deserted by orators, statesmen, lords, and philosophers, who fled mangled from the same brutal hand. Rome scorched, lightened, thundered and fell; she fainted, struggled, and indeed was centuries in dying. Troy, at whose name the world bows with adoration, hath decayed, her brightest planets have fled, and time the unfeigned conqueror, o'er the ruins smile. The story of her dominions fill many pages. The youth reads them with great satisfaction and is wearied." Je-ru-sa-lem! Didn't old Egypt die hard, though? But then, Rome was "game" to the last. We must not "continner these few lines," however, for by this time, no doubt, the reader is filled with "great satisfaction and is wearied." We advise the "great original" to lie down and die now, for he has, beyond all question, "contributed to the instruction or prosperity of any portion of the American people." Has "Beethoven" hung its fiddle on the willows of Babylon for ever and aye! We sigh for the good old days when we had music at Evening Prayers, and bright eyes in the Gallery. To be sure, the old organ used to wax rather frisky sometimes, but are we never to hear any more singing because somebody played too many "extrums" two or three years ago? A little music mollifies the feelings amazingly sometimes, and after a man has "flunked" three times during the day, nothing else will soften his heart half so well at night. Can't some plan be devised for reviving the old institution? "Speaking of singing," our "Pilgrim Fathers" used to execute some great "Pomes" for their meetings. Cotton Mather tells us that “about the year 1639 the new English Reformers resolving upon a new translation (of the Psalms) the chief divines of the country took each of them a portion to be translated; among whom were Mr. Welde and Mr. Eliot of Roxbury, and Mr. Mather of Dorches. ter. The Psalms thus turned into metre were printed at Cambridge in the year 1640." The first thing printed in America was the Freeman's oath; the second, an Almanac; and the third was this volume, called “The Bay Psalm Book.” In the preface the translators say: "Neither let any think, that for the metre sake we have taken liberty or poetical licence to depart from the true and proper sense of David's words in the Hebrew verses, noe: but it hath been one part of our religious care and faithful endeavour, to keepe close to the original text." This book was afterwards revised by President Dunster, of |