Page images
PDF
EPUB

under any circumstances, would be the result of a decision dictated by considerations of prudence, after mature deliberation. Well, be it so. I am not made to understand it. But when I see a young girl like this poor Rosenberg heiress, and when I must think, 'There goes she in the grace and gladness of her youth; and some poor girlish fancy no one cares to suspect can bring a softness to her eyes and a flushing to her cheek, and for any little pleasure the unconscious kindness of a careless word; some peasant's greeting as he holds back the silly branches in the cherry-orchard not to touch her as she passes — the grateful blood will brighten as if to show how easily young souls are pleased, while her heart beats quicker at the sound of a step she knows'-and then, when I must think that all this while she knows not, poor child, that in point of fact she is nothing more nor less than an Old Lawsuit-well, I say that saddens me, Theresa."

[ocr errors][merged small][merged small]

"I can no more. Nature can only concede to the possession of pain the limits of her own strength.

"Lord God in Heaven, look down upon this soul which Thou hast made. See how it fares with Thy

creature.

"What is there in this single solitary sentiment to justify the tormenting tyranny of it, when I confront it with all my proud projects, of which each seemed large enough, and lofty enough, to fill grandly a great life?

"What is it?

"A wish.

"What to me is a wish?

"Miserable mendicant, have I not denied thy claim? Bankrupt bill, drawn with fraudulent pretenses by the need of a moment upon the poverty of an eternity known to be insolvent, I have torn thee! I have canceled my name from the bond. I have done with thee forever.

"Why, then, art thou here again? Why comest thou back to me disguised?

"More fearful art thou in this, thy present form, because less false, than in that other. Lie as thou art, yet hast thou in thee now the terror of a truth.

"For now thou hast forsworn thy plausible pretendings. What art thou now? Less, and yet more. Nothing, every thing. Less than a Wish, yet more insatiable-a Longing. Thou believest not, affirmest not, dost promise not, any more. Thou lookest where there is nothing to be seen; thou walkest where there is nothing to reach. Spurred by the conviction of the unattainable, thou travelest, empty, into emptiness. Seeking for seeking's sake; motion without a meaning; travail without birth; a race without a goal.

"What have I to do with thee, womanish wooer of unmanly souls? Rank, unwholesome weed of weak self-pity, insinuate not into the pulses of my life thy crawling roots.

"Impalpable impostor, thou art detected and denounced. Only as a wish couldst thou dupe the credulity of a mind diseased. To the eye of the hectic

the face of approaching Death is florid with the hue of Life. To the sickly sight the sunset seems the sunrise, and decay's red signal blushing health. Only toa mawkish sense, thou feeble Longing, canst thou look like Hope. But I am strong. I know thee, and I will not know thee. Away!

"Or rather, in thy real form, thou Protean monster of the many faces, reveal thyself at last. Take palpable substance, that I may kill thee. Come forth! avow thyself! I know the hellish name of thee at length. Appear! Be seen, for what thou art, in thy most loathsome shape, detestable Lust. Blight, even in the body of the brute! Procurer to the tiger and the ape! Shall I cringe to a thing so vile? Shall I stoop to a force so foul?

"Beastly, abortive fiend! Fasten thy mad-dog's bite into my living flesh: not a groan shalt thou wring from the scorn of my soul in her wrath. Unshamed in the consciousness of all that I am, unquelled in the kingdom of myself, undebased in my dignity of man, dare but to stir, and I strangle thee dead!"

CHAPTER XI.

HOW IT STRIKES A BY-STANDER.

LETTER FROM JOACHIM FURCHTEGOTT SCHUMANN (AGENT AND PROPERTY-INTENDANT OF ARTHUR COUNT R- OF L————), TO BARONESS THERESA N.

"L, 15th September.

"HONORED MADAM,-As in duty bound, with profound respect, I take in hand my humble pen, in order to acquaint your honor of the sad calamity with which it has pleased God to visit the noble family of my honored lord and esteemed master, the count. Also, honored madam, it is by the express orders of his honor that I make bold to pen these sad lines, for his honor is in hopes that your ladyship's esteemed presence may alleviate the bereaved soul of her honor the Lady Juliet. May it please your honor to pardon your honor's dutiful servant if, in the recital of this sad tale, as in duty bound, I occasion great grief to your ladyship's kind heart.

[ocr errors]

Yesterday, 14th hujus; scilicet the day of the Elevation of the Blessed Host, being about the hour of 8 A.M., and the morning cloudy, it pleased the two young lords, my esteemed masters, to go duck-shooting down the river. And it was their lordships' intention to cross same river, videlicet the Weidnitz, from the point of the long bend beyond the old mill, which is at the distance of about three quarters of a mile,

under correction I say it, as near as can be, opposite to the great marish, which also is well known to your ladyship.

The keeper's lad was with their lordships in the boat (which is a likely lad and an honest, as your laydyship knows), and they let the dog run after them along the bank (which is a black retriever bitch).

[ocr errors]

May it please your ladyship, the young Lord Felix, my honored master, was uncommon gay upon the morning of this melancholy occasion, being high in his spirits and exceeding cheerful, as was remarked by said keeper's lad. The same deposes that while his honor Count Edmond was at the rudder, his honor Count Felix, being at the bows, and having got his feet astride upon each side of the boat, continued, there standing upright, with great mirth and joy, to rock the boat upon the water. But his honor's brother, my esteemed master, Count Edmond, seeing this, with great seriousness besought his honor to sit still in the boat, and not to do this thing, for that the water is uncommon deep in that part, and that, if his honor should fall over, he might not be able to swim by reason of his heavy shooting-boots. Nevertheless, the young lord, for the great cheerfulness that was in him that morning, made light of all that his honored brother was saying to him; for he only laughed very pleasantly all the while, declaring that these heavy water-boots seemed to him as light as a pair of dancing-pumps.

"Now at this moment it happened, honored madam, as I am duly informed, that a hind rose in the brakes by the river-side, and the dog (which is a young dog,

« PreviousContinue »