was now among the irreligious. But still, the recollection of my former feelings would sometimes renew my distress. My conscience would often check me in presence of my gay companions, and I found it exceedingly difficult to conceal my feelings.

"About this time, I conceived the plan of effecting my own conversion. I had not much doubt, but that at some future time, God would give me grace. But as I was naturally proud and aspiring, I expected to experience a remarkable change. Something more than ordinary must usher me into the kingdom of Christ.

"About three years rolled away, without any considerable change in my feelings. My great purpose of self-conversion was not carried into effect. I mingled with the world more than ever, but still thought often on the subject of religion.

"In my nineteenth year, my mind became more deeply distressed in view of my state, than at any preceding period. The thought of hell alarmed me. I viewed myself to be alone in my exercises, considering them as entirely dif ferent from those of any other person. My sins appeared great and aggravated; but such was the hardness of my heart, that I could not repent. I saw no way of escape. Nothing but destruction awaited me. Christ seemed to be a Saviour for those who trusted in him, but not for me. Such was my anxiety of mind, that I could not, for some time, attend to my usual employments.

I

"I remained much in the same state of feeling for several weeks, when a subject different from anything I had previously thought of, powerfully impressed my mind. saw that I had been engaged in continued acts of rebellion against that God, whom it was my duty to serve. Those very deeds, which once appeared commendable, seemed now only to increase my guilt. Even my prayers, which I once thought were pleasing in the sight of God, now appeared abominable in my own. My impressions were not, however, so deep as those of many persons, nor were they such as I had expected. It was not now the fear of hell, but the thought that I had sinned against God, that was the cause of my trouble. But yet my heart was so hard, that it seemed impossible to melt it into contrition. With the poet I could say,

'I mourn because I cannot mourn.'

Thus from day to day was I troubled, not as other men' are, but pursuing, as I supposed, an untrodden path.. The Bible was wholly laid aside; because the threatenings which it contained applied to me with renewed force and terror. I could discover a Saviour for every body but myself, 'O' thought I, If I could but repent, it would allay my distress. But, alas! I fear that God has left me to final impenitence and unbelief. It would be just in him to make me miserable. What shall a wretched sinner do? I cannot remain here, I dare not go back, I cannot go forward. I will mourn over my sins, if, peradventure, the Lord may give me repentance unto life.'

"At this time, my attachment to Christians became more ardent. While I witnessed their devotions, I longed to fall upon my knees, and pour out my heart with them in prayer. Soon after, I became oppressed with fear, lest I should be a hypocrite. My prayer ascended to God, that if I never found peace in believing, I might never find it in any thing else.

"At this critical moment, Christians began to speak to me in encouraging terms. But the effect was only to increase my distress, as I now thought that I had deceived them. I resolved never to hope till I had reason to hope, and until I could even say, 'I know that my Redeemer liveth.' I now felt the keenest distress, for I was in my own estimation a hypocrite, and a most heinous sinner. Christians continued to encourage me. But their encouragements did not comfort me. At length a person, whose piety I could not doubt, related to me his Christian experience. I traced the progress of his exercises, and wondered at the apparent similarity between his experience and my own. Still I expected him to speak of some more wonderful manifestations of divine things, of more deep convictions, and the like. And when he came to the time when he obtained hope, 'What,' thought I, 'is this a Christian experience? I have felt nearly all which he has expressed. There is one point in which we differ; he has evidence of pardon and acceptance with God; I have none: If, however, he has related a Christian experience, and my experience correspond with his, may I not hope?' A calmness succeeded, to which I had ever before been an entire stranger. I opened the Bible, and, O how precious was

that holy book. It spoke the language of salvation. The Psalms were peculiarly precious. Secret prayer became a most delightful employment. Christians were endeared

to me more than ever.

"Soon after this, I disclosed my feelings to a very dear Christian brother. I acknowledged to him that I had sometimes hoped, but had not much evidence, that I was a child of God. After conversing for some time, he said to me, 'You have evidence, if you are not too proud to`receive it. You must be willing to be a very little Christian.' 'Dear Lord,' was my silent ejaculation, let me be the least of all saints. I had rather be a door-keeper in the house of the Lord, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness.'

"In the course of the conversation, my mind was filled with holy joy, and I returned home late in the evening, happier than though I had been elevated to an earthly throne."

In July 16, 1820, Mr. Boardman made a public profession of religion, and united with the Baptist church in Waterville. Mr. F. who was then a student at Waterville, in a letter to the father of Mr. Boardman, speaks of this event in the following manner:

"Dear Sir,

"As it must afford you great joy to know, that your children are walking in the truth, I take the liberty to inform you, that on Saturday last, at the monthly meeting of the Baptist church in this place, your son George gave a relation of his Christian experience, and proposed himself as a candidate for baptism. The Sabbath following was appointed for the administration of the ordinance. The day was fine, our meeting full, and after the close of the morning services, he gave, by request of the church, a public account of what the Lord had done for him. The whole assembly tarried and heard with attention. It was a new thing in this place. Probably many who were present had never before heard a Christian experience. Some were apparently affected. The administration of the ordinance was solemn and deeply interesting. Your son has experienced a great blessing in obeying the command of Christ. His exhortations and prayers have been

heard in all our meetings since his baptism. The good confession which he has witnessed, has been peculiarly satisfactory to me. I have now no doubt remaining, of his having passed from death unto life."

Mr. C. also a fellow student with Mr. Boardman, in a letter to the Compiler, relates the following incident:

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While associated in study with Mr. B. at Waterville, a circumstance occurred, which was deeply interesting to me at the time, and whenever it has since occurred to me —and it often has the most pleasing emotions have always been produced.

"I had known, that Mr. Boardman's mind had for some time been unusually impressed with religious subjects; and though I had said but little to him personally, I felt much interest in his case. As he had not appeared, for a week past, so much affected in view of his state, as for some time previous, I feared his religious feelings were beginning to subside, without producing any permanent good.

"One evening, as I was sitting alone in my room, Mr. B. came in. My fears, as to the decline of his religious feeling, were at once removed, on discovering that he was then in a deeply anxious state of mind. Some questions were proposed to him, which led him to say, that he had at times indulged a faint hope, but that he then thought he had been utterly deceived. At my request he gave a particular account of his mental exercises for some weeks past. As he advanced in his relation, his countenance began to brighten. A heavenly glow took the place of, gloom and anxiety; his soul seemed filled with the peace. of believing; and after engaging with him in prayer, he retired, giving glory to God.

"From his account of the exercises of his mind, it was evident that he had a deep sense of the depravity of his nature, and saw clearly that it was alone through the blood and righteousness of Christ, that he could hope for pardon and salvation."

These are pleasing testimonies in favor of the genuineness of the change which he professed to have experienced, and are the more valuable, as they are given by those who

were intimately acquainted with him, and had ample opportunity to observe the character and progress of his religious exercises under all the circumstances connected with his conversion. But it is not to first impressions that we are to look for the best evidences of grace in the heart. Behold, we count them happy, who endure." "He that shall endure to the end, the same shall be saved.”

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The following extract of a letter, addressed by him to his sister, Mrs. Blanchard, discloses the particular state of his mind at the time of his baptism, and immediately. subsequent to that event:

"My dear Sister,

"To describe my various feelings since I last wrote you, would be to fill a volume. I then informed you that I entertained a hope of having experienced a change of heart. Although my hope was then faint indeed, I have since, if not deceived, been blessed with a gradual increase of faith till the present time; even such an increase as has enabled me to follow the footsteps of my blessed Redeemer in baptism. An awful sense of my total unworthiness would have restrained my steps, had not the voice of duty called me to go forward. At this crisis, the dear Saviour, in whom I trust, promised that he would never leave me, nor forsake me. Encouraged by his word, and trusting in him for grace equal to my day, I cheerfully submitted myself to the ordinance of baptism. The occasion was solemn to the last degree.

"In the afternoon I sat down, unworthy as I was, at the table of the Lord. My soul was melted with the love of Christ. I never experienced such a season before. I cannot express to you the joy I felt on that occasion. It seemed to me that I could never again forsake my Saviour. The love of Christ appeared truly incomprehensible. I wanted to tell the world what a dear Saviour I had found. The half of the enjoyment to be found in the service of God, had not been told me. My heart throbbed with joy, while my eyes were suffused with tears. Since that time, I have, in general, enjoyed a sweet composure of mind till yesterday-Lord's day, P. M.-when the discourse from the pulpit became so deeply interesting, that I almost